Today, I am a dying, no dead, not this time I really mean it dead, coral reef tree. Can someone please take urgent action to save me now!!! Of course, if I am dead then the urgent action is well superfluous but you will feel good about yourself for trying! So try!
Today, I am a āthe world is definitely going to end this timeā tree. Just so. True that.
Today, I am a hot tree, no a cold one, not I think a hot one, but maybe a cold one though I could be hot and then cold and maybe hot and cold at the same time?
Today, I am a tree that cares but doesnāt reallyā¦ do you care? cuz I kinda donāt think that I do, do I?
Today, I am a ZOOOOOOPER tree. Picture me dancing German techno while still rooted firmly in the ground. #amazing
Today, I am a constipated tree. OH SHIT! Does that mean I am German!!!
For fuckās sakeā¦ when will these fucking trees leave (haha) me the fuck alone? I have told these fuckups to fuck off but they continue to fuck with meā¦
Today, I am a very happy tree that is groovinā in the moment. Oh happy day!
Today, I am a tree that really hates children. WHY WHY WHY do people have this belching, farting, shit-creating little monsters? WHY?
Thereās a reason women over the age of 45 canāt get knocked up. Itās about when female intelligence kicks in.
[quote]Thereās a reason women over the age of 45 canāt get knocked up. Itās about when female intelligence kicks in.
[/quote]
So, would that make me a tree of fucking hard knock-ups today?
Where the fuckā¦ why the fuckā¦ how the fuckā¦ did I become a tree of this nature? How?
So, today, I am a convertible tree because I love the feel of the breeze gently blowing through my leavesā¦
Colorado Fir :lick:
But why a Colorado fir and not say a Nevada pine? These are the pertinent points that MUST be addressed!!!
Today, I am a Brexit tree. I yearn for freedom and the wide open spacesā¦
Today and only today, I am a Il Doge tree, a noble breed, the scion of thousands of generations of Italian aristocracy but no one knows where I am not even I. 
Today, I am an Angela Merkel tree. I am going to invite millions to come without consulting anyone else and then I will pay other trees $9 billion to stop those people from getting to my orchard! Howās that for ridiculous!
Today, I am a why cannot the French drive trucks tree?
I donāt think I want to be a tree anymoreā¦ just a feeling but a strong oneā¦