If You See My Children in Kaohsiung, Tell Them I Love Them!

Very sad story and sadly also not completely unusual.
Don’t give up, when your kids are 18 they are free to see you . Just don’t give up. Blood is thicker than water. Your blood flows through your children but not through your spouse.

I do believe your kids will one day seek you out and they will be able to see for themselves who you really are.
I had a chat friend in taiwan who is a young lady who said she finally located her dad in the USA and went to see him but was rejected completely by him. She was very sad about that.

YOu will not be that man and your kids will be the better for that.


Much appreciated are you insights, Hannes.

I am fine with receiving any and all tips or advice, for I also realize perspective is important to consider–and I’ll listen to all. I, myself, had gone through all sorts of soul-searching and readings (academic and social media) on how to approach alienation, and I can certainly say there are some out there who mirror your approach of remaining positive. I’ve allowed myself, however, to periodically post truisms about the nonsense of the Kaohsiung Juvenile & Family Court, the ex and the wrongdoings, the Guardian ad Litem, etc., for I felt that letting truths also be known can help the kids one day understand how all came crashing down. My FB posts for a daily reflection are sometimes just positives and how I miss them, want to see them, etc., but at times I lay all out on the table.

I do, indeed, however, need to simple say that “What YOU did in the past to put you in this situation in the first place” isn’t accurate. Simply put, I fought to stay in my kids’ lives in a BS court, with an ex and ex father-in-law who strived to erase me (whether her daddy dearest recouping face by getting rid of me, embarrassed and having lost face with a divorced daughter, etc.). I had a restraining order against THEM for their actions. I had to file petitions and injunctions when they refused to let me see them for 189-days in 2014. And in the end of the custody battle, in 2016, a falsified report from a Taiwanese Guardian ad Litem (proven to be full of lies with a recording of her visit she’d made–which completely contradicted her report)–was what the judge used for her decision for custody. I think I could write a book here, but in the end (in 2017), another judge after two hearings took the kids 100% away–for unjustifiable and unproven falsehoods.

I had submitted to the courts a number of emails and Messenger messages from my ex to me, to friends and to family that my ex wrote upon separation that I was an “excellent daddy”, a “great father,” etc. When I refused the notion of sole custody, filing for joint custody, instead, the ex and her wealthy father upped the ante and then blocked me completely (for no justifiable reason).

Sorry to be long-winded here, yet the notion of “what ‘I’ did in the first place is entirely erroneous”.

With all due respect,

Thank you, Hansioux. My story is definitely not the first and last that are so similar to your relative. My ex-wife in Taiwan in the fall of 2013 (seems like a lifetime ago), when we separated, wrote me in email that “It’s time to move on with our lives…” and “I’ll draft up the divorce paperwork…” etc., yet a few months later, when the hell started, she began telling female judges in the Kaoshiung Courts that “he abandoned us for no reason” and “I was trying to get him back”. Even with all my evidence to counter her new lies from 2014-2017, via her emails at the time of separation (and a recorded meeting at a coffee shop), I lost ALL.

Indeed, emotional devastation. A hollowness will always be there without them.

I appreciate your insights and reply.

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Then you need to imagine someone being feed false belief system their whole lives, that false information perhaps defined their identity, and then have that belief challenged in their face. Think about those who disagreed with Galileo, Copernicus, scouts in Moneyball, or Chinese students in an US university being refuted when he claims Taiwan is a part of China.

Their first reaction would be anger, towards you for challenging their believes, and shaking up their identity. Once you’ve provoked that reaction, it’s going to take considerable time and more determination on their part to reach out to you again. Simply letting them know youve never wanted to be apart would already create some of that reaction. However, to present all that information at once would be requiring them to decide who they want to believe right then and there, before getting a chance to get to know you again.

What you wrote are necessary, and important documentation of what you had to go through for them. Although you could perhaps set those posts to private, and share with them once they’ve realize you’ve never wanted to abandon them.

There is a high profile divorce in Taiwan going on. Two table tennis stars, man from Taiwan, woman from Japan, who were a high profile star couple in Taiwan, China, and Japan. After Fujihara Ai was caught having an affair while visiting Japan by the paparazzis, she filed for divorce leaving her own mother and children in Taiwan. The court granted her visiting rights, and she used the opportunity to fly her children to Japan, then used COVID and Japanese regulation to deny the father from traveling to Japan, even just to see his kids.


I appreciate your insights and responses back on 10/4.

Your notions of presenting all the information to them at once, a windfall of overwhelming info all at once could/would be simply too much. Truly insightful that is.

Thank you.

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I’d made an error in the above post.

In the first paragraph, I incorrectly wrote that our penultimate weekend was of the 189 weekends we’d shared, but that was 71 weekends between signing divorce papers in 2014 until the last day I saw my kids on June 25, 2017.

189 days was the length of a parental abduction committed by my ex-wife in 2014, when she stopped all communication (no answer to emails, texts, calls), forbade my visits to their high-rise complex, told guards to reject my deliveries of gifts, etc. During that time, I filed injunctions and petitions to see the kids (visited the police, social services, immigrant affairs, and was at the court countless times, etc.), taking six months to finally result in seeing them again.

I then had 71 weekends with them before all came to a crashing halt.


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Thanks for those insights, too. Yes, I’ve had a lot of internal debate as to what to share and what to ‘hide’ in terms of telling them “the whole truth and nothing but the truth”. Some professionals on alienation and such say to just “shower them with love” instead of lamenting the loss and revealing the facts that could cause them worry, confusion, pain.

I am step-by-step attempting to update, edit, change my postings, etc., yet my original few years after last seeing them was to keep people up to breast (during the divorce, too) of all that was happening–and that now requires a huge time commitment.

The upshot: I do see your perspective, indeed.

Thank you, T525 for the reply.

Definitely sad that my story isn’t unusual. The more I read up about parental alienation, the more I’m troubled by how the courts and lawyers, etc., are money-generating machines, and how such high-conflict divorces, especially around kids–will fuel that profit and changes won’t be easily rectified.

Indeed, I will not be that man, whom you mentioned. I await them with open arms.


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Much appreciated are your insights in that 9/29 reply.

I appreciate all.

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Perhaps try to live here? I understand it is hard .

I have an ex with my child. Had to run, escape, the whole 9. And she has been everything bad that one could read on this site or elsewhere. However, it is the single biggest reason I will never leave Taiwan, regardless of the struggle to stay. many deportation attempts, immigration, police, politicians etc. there is always a way. Stay and just live a life that is impossible toget in trouble. Then it is really hard for them to touch you legally. The illegal attempts are more worrisome but for various reasons way easier to deal with. but being outside the island makes it insanely difficult to be part of their lives. And is, at least in my opinion, far less ideal than dealing with truly shitty people if it means the hope the kids will have some kind of love in their lives. 100% worth it, without question.

Dont let evil ex partners get away with harming children. This is a zero tolerance end game in my opinion. I would rather die than allow such a peice of shit to get away with such acts of oppression. But it is truly a lifelong game of chess that almost certainly ends with you getting a stroke, cancer, dementia or some other life altering stress disease.

You need to make that choice and be real about that decision.


It’s a difficult road but Christ followed the difficult road Probably life in general was not meant to be easy

Nobody wants to be in that situation
Wishing you mental strength and success


Indeed a thorny crown to wear.

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