I'm so lonely I want to cry

Discussion Open Forum
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[quote=“Johnnie”]Anybody else feeling lonely, unhappy, or that they haven’t accomplished their mission in life?
I’m not young anymore.
Earlier, I had envisioned myself having a great life writing, interpreting, or doing business in Europe.
I got a degree and learned several languages.
But I didn’t have the drive, focus, or esteem to follow through.
So…I’m here…[/quote]

Was there a secret post where he said “I have been diagnosed as having clinical depression” ?
Jeez, the armchair psychiatrists here are already prescribing mind-altering substances for the poor troll …

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I think, Monkey-boy, that this is the Western knee-jerk reaction – ‘treat with chemicals.’
Also, the topic here is being lonely, or at least that is the title that the author selected. Is loneliness akin to clinical depression?
And by the way, I see that you are jumping up and down on your bed again. Are you suffering from hypertention? Do you need some valium or other sedatives? Did you not get your banana fix? Maybe this is a sign of a more complex illness? Maybe you have a brain tumor.

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Yeah,

The guy says he’s lonely and then folks want to start prescribing him drugs.

I thought it was a bit silly.

DB

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I am manic dpressive: I alternated between extreme optimism and severe depression. It got to the point when I would get up in the morning and feel absolutely no reason whatsoever to do anything–eat, work, read. I did nothing.

I then started assuaging my listlessness by drinking a bottle of vodka a day. This binge ended in a month-long stay in a one-star Betty Ford-type hospital. That glucose injection on the first day was just heaven. My sojourn was followed by prescription drugs: Zyprexa etc. I stopped taking them.

Drugs don’t work. Sure they allow some consistency. But as a manic depressive, one still “knows” the truth. The truth that is there, just under the surface of the “cure” the drugs provide.

And the truth is there is no real motivation for living. None. Nadda. Zip. There is no reason to get up in the morning. There is no reason to not just watch TV all day.

Except for the “moments.” Bliss. Pure unadulterated happiness. You know them. We all know them.

And that is why I get up in the morning. That is why I go to work. A few moments of genuine rapture is better than endless nothing.

Slog it out. Take on this beast that is life. Sure it’s all hooey. But when a moment arrives, you’ll know that it’s all been worthwhile and that there is some value.

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[quote=“Alleycat”]And the truth is there is no real motivation for living. None. Nadda. Zip. There is no reason to get up in the morning. There is no reason to not just watch TV all day.

Except for the “moments.” Bliss. Pure unadulterated happiness. You know them. We all know them.

And that is why I get up in the morning. That is why I go to work. A few moments of genuine rapture is better than endless nothing.

Slog it out. Take on this beast that is life. Sure it’s all hooey. But when a moment arrives, you’ll know that it’s all been worthwhile and that there is some value.[/quote]

Maybe it’s just the time of year, but, oh man, I feel almost exactly the opposite you do - my life is fantastic, punctuated by (infrequent) moments of unhappiness. I’ve got lots of people who love me - family, friends, fiancee. I’ve got a job that pays the bills and leaves a little bit left over. I get to eat whatever I want whenever I want. My clothes are comfortable, and if they’re not all Giorgio Armani, at least they’re not threadbare. I meet interesting people almost every day, my bed is a warm friendly place to be, I have lots of books, cable tv, a Sony Playstation, a scooter that runs well and a cool roommate. My apartment isn’t a palace, but it’s home, and most important, it feels like home. I’m going to go make some coffee now, and have toast with honey.

Merry Christmas!

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Merry Christmas Maoman and everyone else,

To reiterate: There is no meaning. None. Anton Xie quoted me and started pondering the meaning of life. “Can meaning be found in knowledge, etc”

No it can’t becaus there is no meaning. We can acquire knowledge, but to what end?

There is just life. And it is devoid of meaning. Life is not, however, limited to meaning.

I remember a a perfect summer Sunday afternoon some years ago I spent swimming naked in a small tidal pool with my then girlfriend.

There was no meaning in what we did. There was only us and the haziness that is love.

There is no reason as a whole. But a moment of clarity, for me at least, bathes life bliss.

You seem fortunate in having most everything feel like this. And since I’ve landed my current job and moved to nicer digs, life does seem better. These moments are more frequent.

In Johnnie’s life at the moment, it seems, there are no moments.

To him I say, forget meaning, but do look out for the moments. Build on them and then life will not be so burdensome.

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[quote=“wolf_reinhold”]I think, Monkey-boy, that this is the Western knee-jerk reaction – ‘treat with chemicals.’
Also, the topic here is being lonely, or at least that is the title that the author selected. Is loneliness akin to clinical depression?
[/quote]

Dear Resident Segue Naysayers:

You want to be exacting in your analysis of the language the poster used? Fine:

The guy says he’s so lonely he wants to cry. Unless English usage has changed dramatically in recent months, this indicates a degree of loneliness beyond simply wishing for the company of others.

The guy has posted before (Worried/Existential Issues), indicating that he is constantly worried about basic life issues, with hints that he wonders whether life is worth living (part of the definition of existential issues).

He has also posted on tealit several times (as TaiWill), describing his battles with depression.

I, for one, did not prescribe anything. I suggested that he consider the possibility that he is clinically depressed, and that he seek the help of a physician to diagnose his problem, which is very obviously more than simple loneliness. I shared my experience with family members who have chemical imbalances and who, in the past, were often clinically depressed and found life impossible, until they started taking a drug that regulates their emotions. Have you ever dealt with a close family member who is clinically depressed? I have. Others have. That at least qualifies us to make suggestions.

Do I think it is a good idea to take drugs for any ailment? No. I think holistic approaches to health are far superior. I practice them myself. But I also know that certain relatives of mine, no matter how healthy their lifestyles, are ineffective as human beings, and in fact miserable to be around, unless they are taking some kind of depression medication. This guy sounds an awful lot like clinically depressed people I have dealt with in the past. Others on the boards recognized that same thing.

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I don’t like going to drugs either, but some people have no ‘choice’. I too have had close family members that are medicated and for some that’s best. It beats pouring boiling water on you head because of vocies, running 15 miles barefoot, running through the city naked until the cops catch you, I could go on and on. I’m not saying he’s at that level, just don’t rule out drug use.

Seek help, any help and if/when you do start any medication read as much about it as you can. Maybe it’s time to go back home for a bit. I invite you to send me a PM for further disscusion if you like. I’m not a doctor, but I’m a certifiable:

Nice Guy :smiley:

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Oh, and about the meaning of life. I’ve tried my hardest to imitate my cat (Buddy) from back home. Eat, play, sleep, get petted, have adventures. I’d have to agree with Maoman on how things are feeling about now. Just remember, this whole thing is an illussion. For the longest time it’s been my personal mission to spread happiness and be happy. And ever since I picked up me first copy of the DDJ (dao de jing) and read other daoist texts I’ve wanted to be a daoist immortal. It’s always bothered me how so many cultures everywhere still promote gaining ‘things’ over happiness. That sort of thing made sense back when you had to (gain things) in order to live, but now someone can beg on the streets and afford to live. I say everything over food is extra (and it is, period) so be happy to have it.

Ok, I got my rambling out of me for today. It still trips me out how people walk around all day ‘stressed’ about work and stuff.
Man, Funk DAT!

Sorry about being off topic and jumping from thought to thought I gotta go eat.

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And no-one has even mentioned the most important part – pharmaceutical experimentation is just downright FUN! Joe Strummer died just the other day, so that’s definitely call for getting wasted.

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To paraphrase Rodney King:
Can’t we all just get along?

Many thanks to all of you who responded with such positive, upbeat, empowering messages!
If I really wanted to go over the top, I suppose I could paraphrase Chrissie Hinds (sp?) of the Pretenders and call them “Messages of Love” !

I was really delighted by a couple of the last posts.
You guys really made my day!
Miltown Kid and/or others talked about moments of clarity or bliss.
I had clear, blissful moments reading the last several posts.
Especially the guy who talked about simple, happy things in life: a scooter that runs, clothes that fit, a cup of coffee.
Except for the part about honey on toast.
Everybody knows that toast should be buttered.

Thank you all again.

Johnnie

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[quote=“Vincent”]Top Ten Solutions for Depression

  1. By posting plaintive, forlorn existential messages on the internet, you can attract other like-minded souls who may be of the opposite sex, and willing to fuck you.

[/quote]

dude, does that work? i’m gonna have to start my own thread…