Improvements to the human body

Other than the cliches, what improvements would you like to see to the human body? Should we, for example, have pockets? Rear-view mirrors? Or perhaps seat cushions?

Self-regulating nose hair would be cool.

" Or perhaps seat cushions?"

we do!!

kangaroo-like pouches for shopping

see plastic bag thread


[li]eyes in the back of the head (better than a rear view mirror)[/li]
[li]an extra hand (and arm, perhaps with a telescoping function for reaching long distances)[/li]
[li]night vision[/li][/ul]

Sounds a bit like “Inspector Gadget”

What about ear hair?

And I like the eyes in the back of the head idea. What about an eye on the top of the foot too? :wink: :wink: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

A self-cleaning anus :wink: would be wonderful, both for personal hygeine and the environment!

Some way to pre-set the length of, and a switch to stop and start hair and beard growth.

And increased physical flexibility… what’s that old joke, “why does a dog lick himself?”

A rechargable battery that didn’t need to be recharged by sleep. Could be recharged just by sitting on my arse watching TV or reading Segue threads.

Built-in clothes that don’t need washing. Basically more fur, a thick fur coat perhaps, that shedded in the summer. Hahahaa…

Pleasant-tasting semen and fragrant genitalia

The almighty creator obviously didn’t intend for us to have oral sex - spoilsport!

you might want to edit that one, juba

although i did laugh my ass off

[quote=“Alleycat”]you might want to edit that one, juba

although i did laugh my ass off[/quote]
I will if people make a fuss - via private message, preferably, not the blue button.

I didn’t see anything wrong with Juba’s remarks.

And I add… it would be nice to have a hyper-active metabolism that was triggered by inactivity and the ingestion of foods high in fats and sugars and carbohydrates!

it was funny.

i read it as follows: Juba has tasted sperm. that is the joke.

get it?

i am all for free speech man. all for it

Wings, of course. And oversized lungs for high altitudes.

How about gills so we can breath underwater? :wink:

the mouth should be in your cheek so you can use mobile phones properly. And in my case, much smaller genitalia

The most effective anal-cleaning mechanism would probably be a rectal tongue. (Your own tongue, that is. I mean, originating from inside your rectum.) Plus taste buds, so you know whether you’re clean or not.

Come to think of it, women should have three-foot long prehensile clitorii so they could reel us in like a fish, vagina lips smacking and gurgling in anticipation.

I often wish that I were born welded to a vestigial Siamese twin, so that my stomach had little baby-hands jutting out from either side just above my genitalia. So when someone special showered me with attention, the little hands could instinctively grab onto her hair and totally freak her out.

I think ribs are poorly designed, for animals who habitually walk upright. They should go all the way around. And the spine should be different, as a species we’re very prone to back trouble.

And noses that can automatically close underwater, like seals have. So you can swim upside-down without a clothespin.

BTW, what’s your number?

Somewhere to put my pint glass, so I don’t have to balance it on my gut.