Improvements to the human body

A working brain.

Based on the comments above it appears that I am, in fact, the new improved human being you are all dreaming of being.

I have one. I can eat steak, beer and whipped cream while sitting on the couch watching TV for weeks, and my weight never budges from 60Kg. I spend most of my time listening to other people banging on about how overweight they are, and wonder why they can’t find a more interesting topic of conversation - such as…

Yep, got that too. At least in my own opinion. Whenever other people start going on about their weight I try to steer the conversation (tactfully of course) towards the therapeutic and utterly enjoyable effects of the ‘purple lollipop’ diet. I can’t understand why more people don’t try it. I know I would if I could reach. :o

Yep, more flexible spine and lose the lowest ribs. Then we wouldn’t have to waste so much mental effort in arguments with fat chicks who don’t swallow.

Actually I have two, the main one and the smaller one in my trousers. Unfortunately I only have enough blood to run one at a time, which means that my arguments always lose their coherency when it matters. Increased blood pressure might improve matters, but would probably shorten the lifespan. (What a way to go though!)

The other thing to consider is the debate about

Have you ever slept with a hairy woman? I think that moving somewhere warm and sunny and not wearing any clothes at all would be far better. This would mean NO MORE SHOPPING!! and would also lead to an economic slowdown which, if handled properly, could leave us all with a lot more free time. Also people can easily be made aware of the pleasantness of your genitalia, obviating the need for any clever argument. Those who still don’t agree can be shipped out to work in the fields.

Taken together these measures would allow us to sink into self-sufficient nirvana. A world without women, children, shopping, work, or the necessity to think. Cities full of blissful long-lived men huddled over in the sunlight communing with their, er, selves. :smiley:

I guess we’d need to learn how to pee beer as well?

Oh, and hardwire your phone straight into your brain to leave your mouth free.

[quote=“Alleycat”]it was funny.

i read it as follows: Juba has tasted sperm. that is the joke.

get it?

i am all for free speech man. all for it[/quote]

I like the way you’re thinking here Alleycat. Juba may regret that post if we all read it with that point of view - unless of course he is ready to step out of the closet :wink:

[quote=“tmwc”]

I have one. I can eat steak, beer and whipped cream while sitting on the couch watching TV for weeks, and my weight never budges from 60Kg.[/quote]

Enjoy it while it lasts. I was like this until I hit 37, but now I have to work at it :cry:

[quote=“hsiadogah”]
Enjoy it while it lasts. I was like this until I hit 37, but now I have to work at it :cry:[/quote]

If your avatar is any indcator, you probably don’t have to work too hard to keep the weight off!

As far as the topic of this thread, I think a second pair eyelids would be useful. Ones that block out UVA and UVB, as well as pollution.

Two words: spare lungs

for my students, a volume knob.

For the mother in law - A MUTE BUTTON :wink: