Independent and control

I am independent. but i think i have a problem to find someone as that. i don’t know why. it is what i am always thinking. recently, i am thinking maybe men don’t like the independent girls as they can control themselves, is it right? or something else?
My friends told me that i am better to be alone. but it is not what i want. i do want to share something with someone.

You know, I once loved a man who loved my independance. So I know they are out there. Just hard to find. He was the best I ever had in that sense. He had so much respect for me (and women as a whole) and he was comfortable letting me be who I am. I think you just have to know how hard it is to find. And you also have to know it is worth waiting for.

Shit no, independent is good. Clingy and dependent is bad.

Your friends are fools then.

Listen to Tetsuo. In my experience guys who SAY they dig independant women DO. It’s like one of the few things guys dont’ lie about. ducks

Independance in a woman is a fantatic thing. I certianly wouldn’t go for the “little girl lost” type.

Maybe is has something to do with age. As you get older, you want someone who can look after themselves, and not be need to be fathered by a lover.

Independance is a great attribute in a woman. Dependant types become annoying after a while. You just want to say “Grow up and stop being so childish.”

I’d ask you for a date but I live in London :frowning:

I’d be happy to go as your proxy :wink: :laughing:

Men are queing up for a date now!

Well two anyway :slight_smile:

When you say you are independent, what do you mean? How do you know that guys don’t like that? Who told you? What did they tell you? What were the events that triggered this feedback from them? Do you agree with what they say about you?

Best of luck.

I’m married to an independent woman. There are plenty of guys who value independence in women.

May guo, just be yourself. And look for a man who likes you just the way you are. That’s the only recipe for happiness!

independent, definitely YES. I love girl who can show me that she is truly comfortable with herself and if better, someone who is also ambitious, have a dream, and is not afraid to chase their dreams. I have respect for those kind of women, to me those kind women are truly beautiful and simply shines.

When I first met my gf I was very much a ‘momma’s boy’ she was very independant and I thought it was very sexy. Now we are living together and in the past year I have grown to be a much more independant while she has gotten a little less independant.

I think for us it was the opposites attract thing and in the end it helped in evening us out. I’ve become a lot more useful and less shy while she has gotten better at expressing her feelings and letting people in.

So I guess this just means that there are plenty of guys out there who like independant women, but you might have to look harder to find one.

I think “independence” often gets confused with “selfishness”, just as angst gets confused with intelligence and depth.

As far as the OP’s comments, you don’t have to be alone. It might take a little extra effort to find someone to share your life with, but it is worth it.

It does? I thought angst was most commonly confused with a) going through puberty, b) selfishness, and c) ignorance.

Angst => goth => trying to be cool by by creating turmoil => other losers think you are intelligent and deep

I had to google angst. I knew what it was but it is a stupid sounding name. Turns out the Germans did it.

I like independent women as well. As long as they don’t get so independent they don’t need you at all.

[quote]The German word Angst, fear, came into the English language in the early 1940s. In its English, psychiatric sense,

yes, sure… i am who i am … independent and of course, i need someone, too…

Maybe you should stop dating yobs and start dating men within the same intelligence range as yourself. Stop going with men solely for their hot bodies and/or hot $$$. Men are not objects. If you went for men that you could actually talk to and have an actual conversation with, you wouldn’t have such problems. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

I’m sorry, but you come across as a very shallow person. 90% of your posts are about guys. That is the biggest turnoff for men - women whose only obsession in life seems to be relationships. :unamused: Here’s a clue (get it): men do not like girls who always talk about their ex-boyfriends and “where is this relationship going?” and pop-psychology crap like that. Talk to men about real stuff, like politics, art, literature, music, sports, etc., instead of this pop-psychology relationship garbage you learned off of Oprah, and then you’ll have man falling all over you. We men - by which I mean us real guys - get so sick of this pop-psychology garbage foisted upon us by ignorant “self-help” books so many woman take as freakin’ gospel.