Insecurity about my appearance in Taiwan

Outside not literally outside

Not at all, it’s a medically accurate observation.

I think you might be surprised that my political/sociological views, much like your own I assume, are deeply nuanced and not what you have seemingly caricatured them to be.

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Where are you? In Taipei City? Go anywhere else people look like they don’t have a mirror at home.

Your experience is typical of anyone moving to a different country with different beauty standards. I see that it impacts women more, especially with things like clothes. Sizing will be different even with the same brand I’ve found.

The XL Uniqlo clothes I buy in Taiwan is not the same as the XL in the UK or US. It’s more of an inconvenience for me but my SO has said it bothered her when she was living in Taiwan.

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Are people here still really that judgemental about folk carrying a few extra pounds? I’ve heard that plenty from the older generation (for example, going back to work after a two month vacation and on my return the first words out of the mouth of a co-worker that I didn’t know particularly well were “you’ve got fatter”), but I don’t notice much of that kind of talk from younger ones. Seem to be plenty of shortish, chubby folk around, nobody seems to give that much of a shit to me. Admittedly there are fewer “documentary fat” folk than many Western countries, but most people do not look like supermodels.

If you’re engaged to be married, who cares what other people think? Like me, you will hopefully have no need to ever have to think about getting back down to dating weight. If people wish to judge me negatively for being a pot-bellied, rapidly receding wrinkled curmudgeon who usually dresses like your average Taiwanese wedding guest, they are welcome to do so. I couldn’t give a shiny shite.

This is, frankly, a terrible attitude. You’re staying in shape not for the benefit of random strangers, but because you’re married to a person who - presumably - you care about. And for your own self-esteem, assuming you have some.

Women in particular seem to be prone to thinking that once they’ve “locked in” that marriage contract, they can just let it all hang out; they can stop making an effort, because the husband/wife is trapped. No. That’s not how it works. You’ve got a lifetime of marriage ahead of you, and if you think your husband or wife is going to be happy spending that lifetime in the company of a slob, that’s going to be at best a reason for problems, and at worst grounds for divorce.

It’s entirely reasonable to not care what other people think. But to give the same “fuck you” to your partner is unbelievably disrespectful. That’s not to say you can’t let it all hang out sometimes, but to take that as your ground state of being - to pretend that your “dating weight” is something you can deliberately leave behind - is a huge mistake.

The flipside of that little lecture is that keeping yourself in good shape - which is entirely possible well into your 50s or 60s - is going to pay dividends. Apart from anything else, metabolic disease is going to (a) shorten your life and (b) make your final years both unpleasant and expensive. If you can avoid that, why on earth would you not?

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Yep you can’t just give up you could be living with your partner for decades
It’s great when people keep in shape and looking good for their age what’s not to like about that ? It’s good for the individual , their self esteem and it’s good for their partner . You aren’t going to be the same as you were at 21 but you know what you could be in better shape and even stronger or faster or have more hobbies and skills
Health benefits also very important indeed.
Maintaining muscle mass and preventing development of cardiovascular and metabolic diseases and even reducing risk of cancer. It’s all good.

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Everyone: Please stay a bit more on topic, thanks!

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Thanks, and to be clear, i havent receives any comments about my weight nor do I think I weigh to much. Im skinny but its more about frame and height wise that Ill never be as small as the average Taiwanese girl of my age.

Thanks everybody for sharing their opinion.

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