Grabbed from a recent thread. Previously, Maoman had also posted how his wife feels like she is an internet widow. I’m sure that other wives and SO’s feel the same.
I googled “internet widow” and didn’t come up with much :s. The only article(s) of interest came from cliterati.co.uk but that’s not what I was looking for.
How do people, men and women, deal with this? Interested in both perspectives. Do guys feel this is a problem? Do women, do you feel like the internet is your guy’s “other woman”?
For me, sometimes, I wonder, are we (those who spend an inordinate amount of time) socially crippled that we spend more time in front of the PC than in front of a talking, breathing individual? Or has the Internet replaced the radio, TV, cable and that this isn’t a sign of anything out of the ordinary? As our lives become busier, time management is a vitally important skill to have. I dont’ think I do such a good job, never seems to be enough time during the day . Wanted to hear from other perspectives.
Yes, I think it can be a problem if you don’t keep your priorities straight. I don’t know, however, if neglecting one’s SO by spending an inordinate amount of time online is any worse than neglecting her/him for the sake of any other hobby/activity.
Yes, there is no question that internet time has canibalized some portion of the time that people used to spend watching TV. Just read a story about this in some newspaper not long ago (sorry can’t find the link).
I can see the argument that spending a great deal of time online could lead to a certain amount of social atrophy. However, this statement does not tell the entire story, because the internet has also increased one’s ability to communicate and interact with people socially to an amazing degree. 20 years ago it would have been impossible to have the chance to “converse” with a vast network of friends and strangers every single day on topics of mutual interest. So in some ways I think that it allows us to feel much more connected to other people than we could before. And that is not even taking into account the “off-line” friendships that may never have happened without the online meeting.
Can online interaction replace spending time with people in person? Of course not. Obviously it never will.
Just a matter of keeping things in perspective and remembering what is important, I think. And in that sense – I really don’t think the key issue has changed much at all since the internet emerged.
back to the subject: I got a notebook pc recently because I wanted to spend more time in the evening WITH my wife, after the boy was in bed. But she watches Taiwanese TV shows that I can’t stand, and normally I’d just go upstairs and read.
It was my thinking that I could get on the net in the living room, read, dowload music while she was watching old people jump through stryrofoam holes or the fortune teller show.
But what happened was that my harping on the tv shows she watched affected her that she too began to feel they were dumb. She stopped watching but I didn’t log off.
They play side by side for about four hours every night, trying to improve their online characters.
“I’m glad we can do it together. I’m glad that we have something we can do together as a couple,” says Bilke.[/url][/quote]
I’ve also heard/read storied of Japanese kids/people that stay pent up all day online to the degree that it IS their life. I think that line between off-line and online life will only get fuzzier.
Have you guys seen “Online”? It’s about how internet relationships are motivated by the same need for connectedness as are most other relationships. The characters in the movie connect in the real world eventually and then things get a bit complicated. All in all it has a warm, positive, “real” feel to it that a lot of films lack. It is a bit kinky though if you are squeamish that way…ah heck, nobody is squeamish that way anymore.
Kids are pretty much helpless when it comes to the internet, and tv for that matter.
It is sad to walk by an internet gaming cafe and see teenagers bug eyed and online playing games.
I feel the same way about tv. My 5 yr old becomes a zombie watching cartoons. So we play UNO and checkers and connect four a lot.
I believe that online interaction is allowing people to create their own characters in different forums. In one chat room, you can be nice and friendly, in another you can be the antisocial foulmouth. More than ever people are designing and experimenting with thier personalities online. Shakespeare would love it. We are actually using language online to define ourselves and behaviorism is a step behind.
What this is going to do to a person’s real life social skills is a big question. But if the effect of Forumosa is any indication of the benefits of online friendmaking (online personas getting together in real life to have a beer, go to the movies, or do a Boiler Room session, then maybe the negatives are being blown out of proportion.
The scary part is kids growing up online and NOT using it as social tool to meet people, but as a dummy diverter.
I suspect that a lot of the time that many of us used to spend watching TV is now spent on the internet. It as a major improvement for the simple reason that this pastime actually requires something of us and gives us a chance to insert something of ourselves into the cultural debate. I don’t see any down side at all.
I think I mentioned earlier that I noticed you guys spending so much time here … wasn’t watching tv with the spouse at least a bit more “social”? Like in talking a bit with each other, just a little?
Signed: Internet / game divorcee
Who says you can’t talk while using the PC? I’m just chatting with my GF who is surfing the internet on her computer (about 20m away from me). Now my brother (about 350km away from me) just logged in to Skype and said hello. Try to do that with your TV! Computers (+broadband internet connection) are great for keeping in touch!
We each have iBooks, as well as one PC. I sit in the ‘computer room’ with my laptop (often beside my son who is playing on the PC) and chat via MSN with my wife who is sitting in the living room, because it’s easier than yelling down the hall.
. Wanted to hear from other perspectives.
Now my brother (about 350km away from me) just logged in to