[quote=“Buttercup”][quote=“BigJohn”]Investment banking job entry level criteria:
- a really nice shirt
- you’re a greedy fucking asshole
- You like to drink too much and use profane words
- you’re a bloody snob even if your dad was a prole
- good at maths and ass-kissing
- you have a VIP card at Carnegie’s[/quote]
You’re a wee charmer, aren’t you?
Personally, I’ve not been head-hunted for entry level I.B. jobs, despite being eminently qualified, according to BJ. Can’t really manage ‘ass-kissing’ because I have an almost Tourette’s like ability to say what I’m thinking, and I’m not really greedy because I already have tons 'o cash. Got the rest, though. I mean, I could work on the ass-kissing as long as there would be a guarantee that the world would return to its natural order and people would start kissing mine again before long. I’d need to know there’d be progression, y’know?[/quote]
I think the world of investment banking is for you, if you can accept the ass-kissing to getting ass-kissed function:
Ka = kissing ass
Ak = getting ass kissed
n = number of years in the business
s = phase of the stockmarket: (1 = mark down phase, 2 = accumlation phase 3 = mark up phase 4 = distibution phase)
For people of roughly equal greed and good shirtedness, the ratio
of getting one’s ass kissed to kissing ass is:
Ka/Ak = (n * s) /10
So, if the market is at its peak and you have 2.5 years of experience, it should be about equal. If the market is in a down phase, you would need 10 years of experience. On the way up, between 3 years 4 months to 5 years of experience.
So, on average, it would take just over 5 years for things to even up, in the arse puckering department.
If daddy is a banker, change that to 5 minutes.