# Is dating hard for East Asian guys in the West? **URL:** \ **Category:** Dating & Relationships\ **Tags:** beard\ **Created:** [December 21, 2020, 8:38pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474 "2020-12-21T20:38:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hansioux](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hansioux/32/253648_2.png) [@hansioux](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/hansioux)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:30am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/22 "2020-12-22T02:30:02Z")
Also, most Asian women in the US who don’t mind dating Asian men aren’t really into the typical American dating scene, pubs or clubs. That also makes getting to meet them more difficult. Once you are out of school, if you work in a profession that doesn’t see a lot of interactions outside of 40 year-olds or above, you really have to pick up some group activity to meet those type of girls. ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:33am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/23 "2020-12-22T02:33:18Z")
> [@RBE](#): > > Just as if you’re an Asian man in a city with fewer Asian women, you’re probably likely to date non-Asian women. But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that IME, non asian women not from these cities seem to be more open to dating asian men. That is my experience. I’ve lived all over, in major cities to small suburbs in the south. ---
**Author:** ![RBE](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/67e7ee/32.png) [@RBE](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/RBE)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:34am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/24 "2020-12-22T02:34:47Z")
I’ll let you in on a secret: most women in the US don’t like bars and nightclubs. Everybody complains about the “dating scene” but large numbers of people are unwilling to make an effort to go out and meet people in environments that lend themselves to meeting high quality people and interacting meaningfully. They’d rather sit at home swiping into oblivion and complaining about how guys on Tinder offer them dick without so much as a “hello”. And then the guys complain about how their low effort attempts at online dating don’t get responses. ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:41am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/25 "2020-12-22T02:41:20Z")
> [@RBE](#): > > Do you have any evidence that the percentage of Asian women who exclusively date white men is so substantial as to make it difficult or impossible for Asian men? I don’t think that’s the main issue being brought up. Although over 40% of asian women marry outside their race in the US, less then half for asian men. That’s a significant gap not seen in other races. I think it’s also harder for asian men to date non asian women, trends on dating apps show asian men and black women are the least matched. Is it impossible? no. Are there challenges? I believe so from my experience and stats I’ve mentioned above. Is some of the blame on the men themselves? Certainly. ---
**Author:** ![hansioux](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hansioux/32/253648_2.png) [@hansioux](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/hansioux)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:43am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/26 "2020-12-22T02:43:08Z")
> [@RBE](#): > > They’d rather sit at home swiping into oblivion and complaining about how guys on Tinder offer them dick without so much as a “hello”. I wasn’t there in the US anymore when the dating apps became a thing, so I don’t really know how that’s like in the US. When I tried using those old dating websites though, those didn’t work for me at all. ---
**Author:** ![itstoshi](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@itstoshi](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/itstoshi)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:47am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/27 "2020-12-22T02:47:06Z")
Honestly, short answer is: Yes. I am a Japanese who has worked in America and Europe before for business and have had some dating experiences. For me, I am not so shy but I feel a little intimidated or not so confident around western women because I feel I do not “fit the mold”. Western men physically are bigger than us Asian people and it seemed to me that everyone had a big beard during my time abroad I could not help but feel less masculine due to my inability to grow a full beard. I have typical East Asian beard growth pattern (only can grow on upper lip and below lip but not thick or on sides of face etc. I feel western women want a man to be a man and look like a man. I did have an American girlfriend before but she destroyed my confidence by cheating on me with a white guy. I watch a lot of porn in my spare time and can’t help but feel I don’t measure up to those white and black guys there. Now I am dating a girl here in Taiwan but I still worry she will leave me with for a white guy because she likes foreign culture etc. I don’t want these insecurities but they really are part of me. I feel every asian like me is same? Worried to lose what we have to a caucasian. I rarely see other asian dating white girls but so many white guys have asian girls… Why? ---
**Author:** ![OysterOmelet](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/oysteromelet/32/219695_2.png) [@OysterOmelet](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/OysterOmelet)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:47am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/28 "2020-12-22T02:47:09Z")
> [@hansioux](#): > > > [@Hapadoge](#): > > > > How true is this? > > Certain types of Asian women only dates white guys, and if you happen to only be into those kind of girls, then yes, you are kind of screwed. . some of these girls like to run their mouth off about it publicly. https://www.youtube.com/embed/IL5TCwvziN8?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:50am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/29 "2020-12-22T02:50:07Z")
Self fulfilling prophecy is real. I see a lot of men ruin their chances and good relationships because they act in a way that they believe would be true even when it’s not. I never worry about the girl I am with cheating. ---
**Author:** ![RBE](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/67e7ee/32.png) [@RBE](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/RBE)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:50am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/30 "2020-12-22T02:50:46Z")
Well here’s an anecdote. I have an Asian ex who was in a very serious relationship with a Taiwanese-American man before we started dating. From my ex’s description, he was average looking and shorter but in really good shape. His family was extremely wealthy and if my ex had married him as they had been talking about, she’d be set for life. Her ex’s family would always make derogatory remarks about her darker skin tone in the summer, and ultimately, my ex found out that her boyfriend was texting other women. Just an anecdote but makes me believe that culture is just as important in race in many instances where East Asian men struggle in the West. Frankly, there are plenty of Asian women I would never consider dating not because they’re not nice and attractive, but because of culture/family issues. If you’re an East Asian man, chances are you’re closer to your family and care about what they think more than non-Asian men. That might not be so helpful in the West, which values independence and own thinking. ---
**Author:** ![hansioux](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hansioux/32/253648_2.png) [@hansioux](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/hansioux)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:52am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/31 "2020-12-22T02:52:35Z")
> [@Andrew0409](#): > > I never worry about the girl I am with cheating. If it will happen it will happen. No use spending time worrying about it. Even though it might destroy you for a while, it’s better to let people like that out of your life anyway. ---
**Author:** ![hansioux](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hansioux/32/253648_2.png) [@hansioux](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/hansioux)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:54am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/32 "2020-12-22T02:54:59Z")
> [@RBE](#): > > Taiwanese-American > > … > > family would always make derogatory remarks about her darker skin tone in the summer Yeah, I realized plenty of Taiwanese are pretty racists as I got older. ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:58am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/33 "2020-12-22T02:58:26Z")
I find the opposite happens if you are very secure about yourself. I encourage all the girls I’ve been with to go out and have fun and have a life outside of the relationship. It makes them want to come back and not mess around. No one likes an insecure and controlling person. And some girls will try to make you jealous. Doesn’t work on me. I don’t let them mess with my head like that. ---
**Author:** ![OysterOmelet](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/oysteromelet/32/219695_2.png) [@OysterOmelet](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/OysterOmelet)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:00am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/34 "2020-12-22T03:00:15Z")
An Asian man has to make $250,000 more per year for a white woman to be indifferent between him and a white man. That’s the magnitude. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/KsWTFeP1hno/maxresdefault.jpg ""Asian Dating Double Standards" #Soc119") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsWTFeP1hno) ---
**Author:** ![itstoshi](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@itstoshi](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/itstoshi)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:02am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/35 "2020-12-22T03:02:19Z")
It’s asian thing but Asian is not white race so it is natural we go darker in the summer. Even Japanese media try to glorify white skin when there are so many girls in south Japan where I am from that have naturally tan skin they cannot change. We Japanese of course do not really care and still date and marry women like this… And it is funny because I find abroad girls use too much makeup to fake tan and end up looking like an orange. But they want to be darker so tan is in there and tan is not in Asia. But these things are just changing always with times. In tokyo in the early 2000s we had a popular fashion style called gyaru which was girls who want to be tanned like western girls in Baywatch. Even now it is still a niche market but it has its fans. Soon enough tan will probably be back in. But as japanese I do not care. You can find beautiful tanned lady and beautiful pale lady. Beauty is beauty ---
**Author:** ![RBE](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/67e7ee/32.png) [@RBE](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/RBE)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:09am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/37 "2020-12-22T03:09:41Z")
I’m a white American man, so… > [@itstoshi](#): > > For me, I am not so shy but I feel a little intimidated or not so confident around western women because I feel I do not “fit the mold”. Confidence is attractive. If you lack it, women will pick up on that and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Being confident doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to end up with a Victoria’s Secret model no matter how you look, how interesting you are, how much you make, etc., but it does help ensure that you won’t lose the interest of women who are otherwise attracted to you. > [@itstoshi](#): > > Western men physically are bigger than us Asian people and it seemed to me that everyone had a big beard during my time abroad I could not help but feel less masculine due to my inability to grow a full beard. There are plenty of white dudes who can’t grow a monster of a beard either. More importantly, there are plenty of women who don’t want a man with a beard. Beards can irritate the skin and be really, really nasty if they’re not well maintained. > [@itstoshi](#): > > I watch a lot of porn in my spare time and can’t help but feel I don’t measure up to those white and black guys there. I’ll let you in on a secret: most men can’t measure up to the penises you see in porn. The average porn penis is not the average penis. And most women don’t have a fetish for monster penis anyway. It’s painful. I won’t tell you to stop watching porn, but you shouldn’t let it warp your thinking. > [@itstoshi](#): > > Soon enough tan will probably be back in. It’s funny because in the West, lots of people find tan skin to be very attractive. I always find it sad when women with beautiful darker skin tones have been convinced that they’d be more beautiful if their skin was pale. ---
**Author:** ![hansioux](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hansioux/32/253648_2.png) [@hansioux](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/hansioux)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:10am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/38 "2020-12-22T03:10:31Z")
I agree with everything this professor is saying, but dang it’s awkward to be a student he picks as an example. ---
**Author:** ![araujobsd](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/araujobsd/32/212141_2.png) [@araujobsd](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/araujobsd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:11am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/39 "2020-12-22T03:11:37Z")
There is a recipe, it always works doesn’t matter where are you located and from where you are: 1. Get strong, build up some muscles, go to gym. 2. Money, have some money. Woman, they like man, not nationality. 🙃 ---
**Author:** ![hansioux](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hansioux/32/253648_2.png) [@hansioux](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/hansioux)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:12am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/40 "2020-12-22T03:12:30Z")
> [@itstoshi](#): > > Even Japanese media try to glorify white skin when there are so many girls in south Japan where I am from that have naturally tan skin they cannot change. I happen to like girls with a healthy tan, but thanks to the marketing of cosmetic companies, all the girls I know are concerned about “whitening their skin” ---
**Author:** ![crusher](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/crusher/32/235005_2.png) [@crusher](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/crusher)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:12am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/41 "2020-12-22T03:12:43Z")
> [@OysterOmelet](#): > > > [@hansioux](#): > > > > > [@Hapadoge](#): > > > > > > How true is this? > > > > Certain types of Asian women only dates white guys, and if you happen to only be into those kind of girls, then yes, you are kind of screwed. . > > some of these girls like to run their mouth off about it publicly. > [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IL5TCwvziN8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IL5TCwvziN8) She will go old wrinkly and bitter but will be comforted by her huge bank.account😎 ---
**Author:** ![araujobsd](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/araujobsd/32/212141_2.png) [@araujobsd](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/araujobsd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:14am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/42 "2020-12-22T03:14:25Z")
> [@RBE](#): > > I’ll let you in on a secret: most men can’t measure up to the penises you see in porn. The average porn penis is not the average penis. And most women don’t have a fetish for monster penis anyway. It’s painful. Not true! Like in my case, mine is bigger, much bigger… terrible bigger! [Previous page](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474.md?page=1) [Next page](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474.md?page=3)