# Is dating hard for East Asian guys in the West? **URL:** \ **Category:** Dating & Relationships\ **Tags:** beard\ **Created:** [December 21, 2020, 8:38pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474 "2020-12-21T20:38:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![RBE](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/67e7ee/32.png) [@RBE](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/RBE)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:04pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/115 "2020-12-22T15:04:31Z")
> [@Hapadoge](#): > > I mean, duh! There’s a whole mix of different races in the U.S. But the other poster suggested “overall the US is really racist in dating”. Question is compared to which country? > [@Hapadoge](#): > > You mean as in they’re pickier about interacial dating… Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Hapadoge](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hapadoge/32/210144_2.png) [@Hapadoge](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Hapadoge)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:06pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/116 "2020-12-22T15:06:28Z")
> [@RBE](#): > > But the other poster suggested “overall the US is really racist in dating”. Question is compared to which country? As diverse as the U.S. is, there is still a majority race. They make up about 70% of the population in the U.S., I believe ---
**Author:** ![RBE](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/67e7ee/32.png) [@RBE](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/RBE)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:09pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/117 "2020-12-22T15:09:54Z")
Not anymore. The non-Hispanic white majority is declining fast. > **[The nation is diversifying even faster than predicted, according to new...](https://www.brookings.edu/research/new-census-data-shows-the-nation-is-diversifying-even-faster-than-predicted/)** > > New census estimates reveal that nearly four of 10 Americans identify with a race or ethnic group other than white, and suggest that the 2010 to 2020 decade will be the first in the nation’s history in which the white population declined in numbers. Not sure how this relates to the dating discussion. The US is increasingly diverse and the number of interracial couples continues to increase. Hell, years ago I met a guy who I learned was a racist and anti-Semite, and he was dating a Mexican-American woman. ---
**Author:** ![tommy525](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/tommy525/32/272487_2.png) [@tommy525](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/tommy525)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:27pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/118 "2020-12-22T15:27:42Z")
ive lived in the bay area for 20 years and for every asian dude/white girl pair , give me 30 the other way or more. Sorta like the black male/white girl pairing which is far more common then the white male / black girl pairing. At the university age level though asian males who want to pair with white girls are gaining ground. Just like indian male/ white girl pairing. Getting more common. For asian males , normally they get more attention from asian ladies and most just go the “easy” route and go with asian ladies…why fight the current? myself? being half asian and half white but looking much more asian to most (except asians who can spot the difference) i have always attracted asian ladies and never caught the attention of white ladies so i have always surrendered to the current…not sure if i missed anything…but oh well…a fish gotta swim. ---
**Author:** ![OysterOmelet](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/oysteromelet/32/219695_2.png) [@OysterOmelet](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/OysterOmelet)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:40pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/119 "2020-12-22T15:40:30Z")
> [@tommy525](#): > > At the university age level though asian males who want to pair with white girls are gaining ground. Just like indian male/ white girl pairing. Getting more common. I think much of this is due to the growing popularity of Kpop. ---
**Author:** ![tommy525](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/tommy525/32/272487_2.png) [@tommy525](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/tommy525)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 3:58pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/120 "2020-12-22T15:58:23Z")
probably helped ---
**Author:** ![Deca](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Deca](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Deca)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 4:02pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/121 "2020-12-22T16:02:15Z")
Got a friend of Korean extraction who can confirm that this is the case. His prospects increased a lot since the rise of K-pop. ---
**Author:** ![Hapadoge](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hapadoge/32/210144_2.png) [@Hapadoge](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Hapadoge)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:09pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/122 "2020-12-22T19:09:47Z")
I 100% agree that K-pop is definitely helping Asian men portray themselves in a manner making them be seen as attractive to the media. ---
**Author:** ![Hapadoge](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hapadoge/32/210144_2.png) [@Hapadoge](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Hapadoge)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:14pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/123 "2020-12-22T19:14:29Z")
> [@OysterOmelet](#): > > I don’t understand this sex tourism thing. If you want to pay for sex, why don’t you just go local? Hookers are paid to give you whatever you want, they don’t vary in how they respond to you. It’s mostly illegal in the U.S. (except for some parts of Nevada) ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:18pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/124 "2020-12-22T19:18:20Z")
> [@itstoshi](#): > > Honestly, short answer is: Yes. I am a Japanese who has worked in America and Europe before for business and have had some dating experiences. For me, I am not so shy but I feel a little intimidated or not so confident around western women because I feel I do not “fit the mold”. Western men physically are bigger than us Asian people and it seemed to me that everyone had a big beard during my time abroad I could not help but feel less masculine due to my inability to grow a full beard. I have typical East Asian beard growth pattern (only can grow on upper lip and below lip but not thick or on sides of face etc. I feel western women want a man to be a man and look like a man. I did have an American girlfriend before but she destroyed my confidence by cheating on me with a white guy. I watch a lot of porn in my spare time and can’t help but feel I don’t measure up to those white and black guys there. Now I am dating a girl here in Taiwan but I still worry she will leave me with for a white guy because she likes foreign culture etc. I don’t want these insecurities but they really are part of me. I feel every asian like me is same? Worried to lose what we have to a caucasian. I rarely see other asian dating white girls but so many white guys have asian girls… Why? Maybe I can give you some advice. I get the intimidation part, but tbf, western men (whites) also have this issue. Don’t think this is unique to you. Let’s not pretend the average white guy looks like Brad Pitt, most of them are like you and aren’t that tall and can’t grow a beard. The reality is, the average man, is in the same place as you. Not everyone is a top level human specimen. I’ve found probably 10% of men get 90% of the women or something close to that in terms of sex being had. The sexual market place is favorable to the average women and the top men. But that relates to sex. Relationships are another deal, I think women sometimes don’t realize men are willing to lower their standards by a lot to sleep with them. You can be a 6 as girl, and sleep with a guy that is a 9 if we can rate looks, but doesn’t mean the guy wants anything to do with the girl beyond sex. This is how it is now with our society and the use of technology. In the long run, I’m not sure if this benefits either gender all that much. So these are the rules to the game, you can complain and give up or play it to your advantage. Nobody wants to hear this, but you need to work on yourself a lot if you are a average guy. You won’t get by with looks. I certainly can’t as a Asian guy in the west and I’m tall and have a larger frame than the average western male. And for some reason, I can grow facial hair on my entire face when my dad and both my grandpas can’t. Strangely enough, my facial hair was like yours until maybe 22-23, then I started to grow facial hair on my entire face. It’s not that great, I hate shaving. I can’t say it helps me all that much in dating. I mostly clean shave it anyway as it’s not the greatest beard. Work on yourself, be interesting. I have found women as they older become less superficial anyway. Perhaps true of both genders. What has helped me is to build a good social circle, learn new things, travel, have interesting hobbies. I am comfortable holding a conversation with a janitor to a CEO. Let who are speak for you, the looks you are thinking will help you isn’t all that helpful unless you really look like Brad Pitt or something. You will get women interested in you if you are interesting. If you can say something like you summited mount Everest…people will be interested in you. Have some big goals and go after it. One of mine was to go train and fight in Thailand, I can say I did that. ---
**Author:** ![Hapadoge](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/hapadoge/32/210144_2.png) [@Hapadoge](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Hapadoge)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:24pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/125 "2020-12-22T19:24:11Z")
I could never get a guy within my league, lookswise if I tried. (Yeah I know I’m young but I’m talking about high school dating) ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:25pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/126 "2020-12-22T19:25:34Z")
> [@Hapadoge](#): > > I could never get a guy within my league, lookswise if I tried. (Yeah I know I’m young but I’m talking about high school dating) HS dating is a waste of time. Enjoy those days doing things you like with friends and family. ---
**Author:** ![Baxter](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/baxter/32/22002_2.png) [@Baxter](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Baxter)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:43pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/127 "2020-12-22T19:43:34Z")
> [@Hapadoge](#): > > I could never get a guy within my league, lookswise if I tried. (Yeah I know I’m young but I’m talking about high school dating) Girls tend to overestimate their league, so that’s that. Also, most guys in high school are clueless and wouldn’t know what to do even if you threw your clothes and a condom at them. ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:47pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/128 "2020-12-22T19:47:03Z")
Might have to make the first move in HS if you are a girl. Most guys are too shy and don’t know what to do. Probably more than the first move in fact. I was pretty shy with girls in HS, the only reason girls talked to me was because I was on the basketball team and had some sort of social status in the school. Overwise, I was useless in terms of talking to girls. It was something I improved at in college. ---
**Author:** ![Baxter](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/baxter/32/22002_2.png) [@Baxter](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Baxter)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 8:24pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/129 "2020-12-22T20:24:35Z")
> [@Andrew0409](#): > > Might have to make the first move in HS if you are a girl. Most guys are too shy and don’t know what to do. Probably more than the first move in fact. Indeed, though sometimes even with the best efforts… I used to be so shy, once a girl told me straightforwardly “I love you,” I just laughed and walked away. ---
**Author:** ![OysterOmelet](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/oysteromelet/32/219695_2.png) [@OysterOmelet](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/OysterOmelet)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 9:11pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/130 "2020-12-22T21:11:36Z")
> [@Hapadoge](#): > > Esther Ku is cringe IMAO. She makes Asian women (and Asian men) look bad. I can’t watch her content. It’s too painful to watch. 👎 On the flip side, if you’re an Asian man who stays at home playing video games, you deserve the insults coming at you. ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 9:22pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/131 "2020-12-22T21:22:55Z")
> [@OysterOmelet](#): > > On the flip side, if you’re an Asian man who stays at home playing video games, you deserve the insults coming at you. But that’s what I do 😅 Gaming will always be one of my hobbies. Wished I had more time to play games. ---
**Author:** ![dan2006](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@dan2006](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/dan2006)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 9:51pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/136 "2020-12-22T21:51:49Z")
Honestly, most girls could look like they hit every branch of the ugly tree going down, and still have a lineup of good looking guys after them. ---
**Author:** ![Andrew0409](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/andrew0409/32/69821_2.png) [@Andrew0409](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Andrew0409)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 10:05pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/138 "2020-12-22T22:05:59Z")
There is the fake it till you make it method if you are a guy. When you walk into a place where no one knows you, you can inflate your social status which imo is the key to getting laid. Looks improve your social status as people value good looking people more, but social status is most important aspect of not just sexual relations but probably most relations with other people. If you walk in and behave like you own the place and are somebody, people can believe it. This of course isn’t going to work in the long run if your projected social status doesn’t match your actual social status. Just take a look at this, someone can walk into fashion week and pretend to be somebody and people believed it. And this is an industry all about looks. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/16AfXwI2WGQ/maxresdefault.jpg "We Faked A Model To The Top Of Fashion Week") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16AfXwI2WGQ) ---
**Author:** ![Baxter](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/baxter/32/22002_2.png) [@Baxter](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Baxter)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 10:31pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474/139 "2020-12-22T22:31:28Z")
I’d rather put that statement the other way around: no matter how you look as a girl, you’ll always find a handsome guy with a self-esteem low enough so that he thinks you’re the best shot he’s got. But that points to the heart of the equation: women’s “league” are determined to a greater extent by their physique and youth, men’s by their social skills, status and character. [Previous page](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474.md?page=5) [Next page](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/is-dating-hard-for-east-asian-guys-in-the-west/200474.md?page=7)