I’ve noticed that my computer beeps incessantly everytime I click on a ‘Fred Smith’ post. Have I really just been sparring with a computer virus all these months?
That would explain alot – the malicious, mutant, spawning nature of ‘his’ replies – the cold-blooded and mechanistic world view of this ‘Fred Smith’ creature. I mean, what real human being actually has a much time as ‘he’ apparently does to post so much? It’s just not possible.
Has anyone ever actually seen ‘Fred Smith?’ And if you thought you did, how did you know it was actually Fred Smith and not some imposter hired on-line to impersonate him? Did you check his ID?
Yes . . . malicious computer virus posing as a concerned human being trying to make the planet a better place. Fat chance. ‘Fred Smith’ is just trying to royally screw things up so he and his cyber allies can take over the world once we’re gone. That would certainly explain alot.
No. He is one of the Ideobot tribe. A long, long time ago when the earth was young and Internet was gelling into shape, many web designers feared that their latest features, these ‘messageboards’ wouldn’t attract enough interesting, lively discussion. So several thousand Ideobots were designed to combat this problem, and let loose upon the Web. Their function is force extreme reactions (and thus exciting, emotionally impassioned discussion) out of human posters, by always taking positions at the extreme poles of the political spectrum. Some diabolical computer programmers have even taken to designing Bots from opposite ends of the left/right spectrum, calibrated each to be equally powerful, and set them loose upon an unsuspecting forum, which soon falls prey to having all discussions degenerate into shrill shouting matches between the two Bots. Ideobots may have once served a sort of useful purpose in the early days of the Web, but they were a virus that soon grew out of control, and have now multiplied everywhere.
Fred Smith is the Wall Street Journal Republican model #348G17. He is designed to efficiently extract, through a sophisticated cut & paste download process, the latest opines contained in current pages of leading American conservative publications, such as the aforementioned WSJ and the National Review. Whenever certain keywords pop up - keywords all linked to contemporary politics, such as “Bush”, “WoMD”, “Iraq”, “taxes”, “pizza”, etc. - the program activates. You can keep one step ahead of this particular Ideobot by subscribing to and memorizing the contents of the of the latest right-wing American political journals, thus knowing beforehand exactly how #348G17 will respond to any argument - but who would want to do that?
A defense? I’ve been on many forums, and if I’ve learned one thing, it’s the only defense is evasion. Trying to tackle such powerful Bots directly only plays into their hands by pouring more oil onto the fire. They’re energy-leechers - the harder you hit them, the stronger they become. Thus, the best strategy is not provide the Energy Creature with further fuel, by ignoring it. Deprived of its source nutrients, it will either shrivel away and die, or move on to fresher feeding grounds.
[quote=“Jive Turkey”][quote=“mod lang”]An example of each of these 3 Bots:
Fred Smith
Blueface
Mother Teresa
[/quote]
Yes, but I’ve noticed that the program “Blueface” has been dormant lately. What’s up with that? Was his code corrupted?[/quote]
Oh my. The program “blueface666” must have detected this discussion. He, or I should say it has been reactivated in the International Politics forum after being dormant since the beginning of January.
Taking out Saddam was the right, get it RIGHT thing to do.
Bush has the right idea about how to deal with the Middle East.
WE are achieving success each and every day.
Taxes should be lowered.
More vouchers for public schools.
The world will thank us and cheer the Republicans on to four more years of victory this 2004.
The French are evil and will pay for their perfidy.
Why can’t the Left act with any moral consistency or integrity?
Spook:
Let me know if you need any more. It comes naturally to me. As a virus I don’t need to relieve any bodily functions, though I have been programmed to appreciate good wine and food.
[quote=“fred smith”]And that’s why we must invade Syria and Iran.
Taking out Saddam was the right, get it RIGHT thing to do.
Bush has the right idea about how to deal with the Middle East.
WE are achieving success each and every day.
Taxes should be lowered.
More vouchers for public schools.
The world will thank us and cheer the Republicans on to four more years of victory this 2004.
The French are evil and will pay for their perfidy.
Why can’t the Left act with any moral consistency or integrity?[/quote]
Successful computer viruses have topics like “Open this to see how big and fluffy Big Fluffy Matthew is”, you’ll never spread far with topics like that.
It’s overly trusting people like you who are the main reason why computer viruses are such a big problem in this world.
Can’t you see it? Good god, man, that’s exactly how I’d expect a computer virus to reply.
Look at the wooden syntax. Look at the way the same thought pattern spawns a swarm of iterative sentences as if a computer loop is ultimately responsible for generating it.
And when was the last time you won an argument with a computer? Never, I’d venture to say, if you’re anything like me.
No, ‘Fred Smith’ is clearly an advanced virus most likely created as an off-shoot of the Pentagon’s Carnivore project, designed to create the equivalent of a ‘denial of services’ in on-line debate forums whenever the government’s position is challenged.
Doubt it? Look at ‘his’ incessant references to meat. That’s a dead giveaway that it’s part of the Carnivore project. Everyone knows it’s a favorite gimmick of programmers to toss in idiosyncratic references in their creations.
So wake up to the truth, BFM, before it’s too late for all of us. ‘Fred Smith’ is nothing more than an evil swarm of electrons bent on world domination.
(Hey, Fred, when’s Fredfest III? I might just show up to cut the cheese with you, smoke a good cigar, quaff a good bottle of red wine – swap some war stories. You may be a bit of a one-eyed toff but your savois faire is beyond question.)
Fredfest III is … when Bush says it is okay. We can have fantastic martinis but MUST CHECK WITH RUMSFELD FIRST and then some excellent food at Paris 1930 REBOOT REBOOT Alien says Lamb is gristly, does not compute reroute to other server, but Ashcroft must give the dinner prayer because this is all about values, values, values, values, values, values, which the French are sorely lacking in these values which God-fearing Americans and LIST OF ALLIED COUNTRIES TO BE UPDATED AND ADDED IN FIELD have and possess which is why we the SECOND FIELD must continue to [alternate: fight, challenge, oppose] amoral Leftists like [Noam Chomsky, Jimmy Carter, Alien] to … REBOOT alternate path routing error … Pentagon… CIA… reboot failure to respond, reroute through Moral Majority, server error, attempting Illuminati (server error) rerouting through Jewish Conspiracy and Zionist Plans to Dominate Earth (see God) reroute Queen Elizabeth II Web site okay re-establishing link with second satellite…
Yes, Fredfest III will be held in mid April. I am thinking of holding it on tax day April 15 to protest the evil, vile and pernicious socialist influences which seek to deny God-fearing, hard working Americans the fruits of their labor. More details forthcoming [check Cheney Web site for suitable themes] public relations distribution to press and selected Web sites for key message enhancement.
