Ive met some of the local girls here in taiwan. Unfortunately it happened to me twice that they still go out with me even if they have serious relationships or boyfriends.
The most recent thing that happened is with this girl who i met in nankan and we were having a cup of coffee. While in in our conversation, somebody called her and ofcourse talked in chinese. She was a bit concerned and I jokingly äsked her “is that your boyfriend?” she suddenly cut off the phone conversation after that. Bad thing is this guy called again and was already shouting that i could even hear it. The girl I was with admittedly told me that her boyfriend is very angry and that she has to go home immediately.
After getting home, I message her that Im really sorry for what trouble i have caused . She replied that its ok and that I should never talk or text again …
I have waited for another day and asked the girl if she was mad at me because of what happened. Then she told me that it was her boyfriend that replied to my message and not her and that she was not at me. But ofcourse she was cutting our communication at that point and that she was also sorry.
Now my problem is i really liked her, but I dont want to intrude in any serious relationship. What I did was message her that Im open if she wants to talk or see each other again.
So is that normal here ??? I mean , girls going out with other guys and even if they have boyfriends??? or until their boyfriends find out …
Is it a “date”,when you go out with her?
How does she think about you? just friend or boyfriend.
Some local girls do meet another boys who are their friends only.
I think girls still can have male friends when they have bfs.
I know i will probably be flamed here but this is only my opinion.
I agree with the OP, i will never understand why some girls think it is ok to lead a guy on. (this can go the opposite way as well ie. guys leading a girl on but im speaking from a guys perspective here.)
I mean come on, 90% of the time, one or the other persons will feel something toward the other, if you are just a friend, it should be laid out clearly for the other person so they dont feel led on.
Honestly, this has happened to me enough times, and Im sick of it myself.
If you have a boyfriend, stick with him and talk to him, this is why you are boyfriend/girlfriend.
if you really want to have a guy friend as well as a boyfriend, ok, but tell the guy upfront that you are not interested in them in any other way than a friend.
Even if you dont have a So, but are shopping the field, also make this clear to the other person so there is no misunderstanding.
No offense.
Are you sure she really knows your intention?
This is what I met:
Someone always told me:he knows what I think …he is SURE I know…
But actually,he is never right.
The problem doesn’t only happen to guys.
I have met guys who were merried, guys who had GF and guys who had more than one GFs.
It is simply obvious that people are different.
You’re being nuts, IMO. You know she has a serious relationship. Back off. She has your number. Maybe she will call you up after they finish.
I had this horrible session with what was supposed to be a new student. I told him I had a man. He told me he had a girl. He spent the entire class trying to get me to go out with him. I told him no I have a man. He said that I am missing chances if I am loyal to my man. That I should still date other people in case my man isn’t the one I am meant for. I told him I don’t date my students. He said the same shit about missing chances. He said “If we met on the street…” And I said “If we met on the street I would probably not have spoken two words to you.” He didn’t even stop then. I asked him how his girlfriend would feel about him trying to get me to go out with him and he said “She isn’t my wife.”
Yarg.
In the end I told him I would not teach him. He called me 4 times the next day saying how rude I am for not teaching him after he spent money to buy my number from MYU.
[quote=“SuchAFob”]You’re being nuts, IMO. You know she has a serious relationship. Back off. She has your number. Maybe she will call you up after they finish.
I had this horrible session with what was supposed to be a new student. I told him I had a man. He told me he had a girl. He spent the entire class trying to get me to go out with him. I told him no I have a man. He said that I am missing chances if I am loyal to my man. That I should still date other people in case my man isn’t the one I am meant for. I told him I don’t date my students. He said the same shit about missing chances. He said “If we met on the street…” And I said “If we met on the street I would probably not have spoken two words to you.” He didn’t even stop then. I asked him how his girlfriend would feel about him trying to get me to go out with him and he said “She isn’t my wife.”
Yarg.
In the end I told him I would not teach him. He called me 4 times the next day saying how rude I am for not teaching him after he spent money to buy my number from MYU.[/quote]
Since you made it pretty clear that you want to develop a relationship with her, maybe she was trying to turn you down in a nicer way instead of blatantly tell you “NO”? Chinese, especially girls are yes, more conservative for the most part, but we’re also taught to not be so direct, since sometimes telling the truth to someone’s face always end up hurting that someone’s feelings. She may have just wanted to be friends with you but when you made your move on her, she just didn’t know what to do to subtly tell you no and not hurt your feelings? At the end, she ceased communication with you while telling you she’s not mad at you was a pretty good indication that she probably didn’t want to have a relationship with you. Girls can have male friends, but may not be able to turn down male friends who want to become boyfriends nicely. Am I making sense?
Well true … shes obviously dumping me because her boyfriend got the idea that he was dating me too… (since we were together that time when he called)
Anyway Im leaving it that way, since even if I kind of liked the girl. I cant do anything about it since she is on a serious relationship…
Ill just lie here and wait till the storm has passed since, i started to see a glint of the sun already when she messaged me this morning… ( but i do think she is still keeping the boyfriend ) what the???
[quote=“kyosaisho”]Well true … shes obviously dumping me because her boyfriend got the idea that he was dating me too… (since we were together that time when he called)
Anyway I’m leaving it that way, since even if I kind of liked the girl. I cant do anything about it since she is on a serious relationship…
Ill just lie here and wait till the storm has passed since, I started to see a glint of the sun already when she messaged me this morning… ( but I do think she is still keeping the boyfriend ) what the???[/quote]
[quote=“tommy525”][quote=“kyosaisho”]Well true … shes obviously dumping me because her boyfriend got the idea that he was dating me too… (since we were together that time when he called)
Anyway I’m leaving it that way, since even if I kind of liked the girl. I cant do anything about it since she is on a serious relationship…
Ill just lie here and wait till the storm has passed since, I started to see a glint of the sun already when she messaged me this morning… ( but I do think she is still keeping the boyfriend ) what the???[/quote]
you are her PET[/quote]
absolutely… what a waste of time and your life to be just a PET
Maybe her boyfriend is boring and she’s scoping out other boys as potential future boyfriends, but isn’t ready to dump her current boyfriend right this moment because she likes the stability of having a boyfriend. She’s shopping around for something better but isn’t going to foolishly throw away what she already has. A bird in one hand is better than two in the bush.
Girls do this all the time. Guys do to.
If you are really interested in the girl, compete for her. She isn’t married to the boyfriend, is she? And she obviously isn’t too in love with him, either, if she’s checking out other guys like you. It doesn’t sound like she has a serious relationship with him - for all you know, her ‘boyfriend’ is just a fling, and if she gives up on him so easily in exchange for you, then it probably wasn’t “serious” in the first place. Every girl worth having is already “taken” anyway, so don’t let that moralistic quibble get in your way.
…
She messaged you this morning? And has gone out with you several times, without her boyfriend’s knowledge, and he gets upset when he finds out? That’s not normal behavior for him to get so upset and she has to keep her communication with you secret if she were genuinely just interested in being “just friends”. Dude, it’s obvious she’s interested in you. She probably wants to break up with her boyfriend and get with you. She’s waiting for you to make the next move and compete with her boyfriend for her hand. To some girls it’s thrilling to have two guys compete over her. Maybe she’s getting off on the drama. (Don’t look at me, I never understood the female mentality) Maybe you’re just more handsome and interesting than her boyfriend. She’s looking for excuses to get out of her relationship and you are a good excuse…“I’ve found someone else”…ha, how does it feel to be the other man?
