I don’t know about anybody else but I have spent so much time in the two headed monster position that I find it somewhat of a strain to always act as though I am in a state of orgiastic pleasure the whole while. Especially if it goes on for more than fifteen minutes at a time. In fact sometimes I am tempted to check what is going on in the internet or change the channel on the television. Conversation seems like a natural way to while away the time while fornicatting but I am not sure what to say. “Did you have a nice day dear?” Seems a bit mundane somehow. Anyway if anybody else has faced a similar quandry I would certainly be thrilled to hear about whatever solutions you reached. Thanks.
If shagging is such a drag, simply fornicate while doing something more mundane. For example; while making dinner, then you can discuss the impending meal while getting your end away. This could also lead to some interesting position changes as you reach for the mixed herbs (or whatever); or perhaps the next time you visit Carrefour, I’m sure you would have a lot to talk about while you are giving her one while pushing your trolley around while choosing which brand of tomato ketchup to buy. and I’m sure the other customers would get something from this too.
DISCLAIMER : These are only suggestions. Any legal difficulties caused by these suggestions should be directed to someone else…
My wife and I sometimes hold a small conversation, and give each other constant updates of the situation and our own personal needs at the moment…but for the most part, a nice bland, and quiet orgasm is just what the doctor ordered.
Small talk is a completely human thing.
Sex is a completely animal thing.
I like to keep those worlds seperate sometimes.
If both of you work and lead busy lives, the only time you see each other is in the evenings, and many times don’t even have dinner together. So when you do see each other you have so much to talk about AND you want to have sex. What’s wrong with talking about your day during sex? Oh yeah, and then you want to catch up on TV, too.
So yes, I think multi-tasking is a very important skill during sex. I wouldn’t say it’s polite to talk during fornication, but I don’t think it’s rude.
Now we are getting somewhere. Thanks 914. Also I think that if you are a guy and your partner wants some while you need to study or something it is best if she is on top facing your feet. You can read or whatever and easily maintain a perfectly pleasant head of steam in that position at the same time. I used to get a lot of studying done that way and the girls basically took care of themselves. Lovely arrangement. Just lovely.
[quote=“bob”]Thanks roach. I’ll see about a two foot penis extension and give that a try.[/quote]Which one? Making dinner or Carrefour? If its going to be Carrefour then perhaps you should post something in the Events section so that interested Forumosans could come and watch while getting their weeks groceries. But whichever, why the need for a two foot penis extension?
I apologise if I’ve belittled your original post. But past experience tells me that you are not really being serious…
If sex goes on for too long, and we want to watch TV… I always suggest we do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files.
What if your sexually unrelated small talk is riddled with laughter and giggling?
I need both hands so I put the mobile down and shout.
It is not polite to talk when your mouth is full.
My brother once told me he had a partner that demanded 30-60 minute sessions.
He coped with this by using her back as a sort of coffe table for Penthouse and other assorted literature.
He completed 26 full Ironman events so no doubt she chose him for his stamina.
Seems like you all missed the boat on this one. This is how I read it…
Bob wrote,
Sex with Mrs. Bob can be dull. Help!
Uncle Tom replies,
Dearest Bobble,
Have you tried any dirty talking with your spouse? Some thing along the lines of… “First I gonna ram this ______ up your _____, then Im gonna make you __________ like a dirty _________, then when you can’t take any more I’m gonna ________ until you pass out.” You get the picture.
Also, use the internet. It is a wonderful source of hardcore pornography. People of all ages in all manner of positions. It’s amazing what you can find! If boobs are your thing, Japanese porn. If bums are your thing, Brazillian porn. If sick is your thing, German/Dutch porn. If boring is your thing, British porn. Find out what you both like!
Also, how about some ‘dirty texting’ on the way home. Get her ready for the royal Bobness to lay down the law!
And finally, personal grooming. Get that head of yours nice and shiny, she be all over you like a dog on heat. Go metrosexual.
According to Hustler magazine you should, ‘Never never allow the super-red-hot-sex side of your relationship to fade.’
Yours,
UncleTom.
[quote=“Ironman”]My brother once told me he had a partner that demanded 30-60 minute sessions.
He coped with this by using her back as a sort of coffe table for Penthouse and other assorted literature.
He completed 26 full Ironman events so no doubt she chose him for his stamina.[/quote]
So you’re saying he got bored during sex? Is that possible? 
Nothing wrong with a little laughter … sometimes it’s an interesting release during sex in it’s own right. Of course, if the laughter is directed at what you are doing then that is a different matter.
It can be an excellent opportunity for language exchange. I’ve learnt a lot of my Chinese like that.
for example?
hao xiao!
twsou dong!
ne me kwai!
lol…im sorry man, but you set yourself up for that! 
“Roll over kids and go back to sleep. Your momma and I need some privacy” Is the only thing I say during sex.
what you can say during fornication…
“you really needs to los some pounds”
“How about not playing dead?”
“Wake up! COME ON, WAKIE WAKIE!!!”
Laughing is allowed, but not while pointing.