Is it possible to be friends first?

Ok, i just visited Taiwan for the first time ever a few weeks ago, as i was visiting a family member.

I was introduced by my family member to this one woman that they knew. We seemed to get along quite well and she knew a bit of english (my chinese = 0)

Before I left we exchanged phone #'s and email addresses.
Ive researched this forum quite a bit and read alot about psycho women, ive also read of a lot of good that can come out of a relationship.

After much reading i have a question for the group. Is it possible to be friends with someone at first? Or will she automatically assume since i am emailing that we are together or a good chance of it.
This scenereo frightens me as i belive in getting to know someone first before committing in any way. This is based on my last dating experience in Canada. I guess im trying to clarify the dating/friend dynamics in Taiwan. Please excuse if i seem overly naive

Thanks for the comments in advance

Welcome abroad, 1999OldsGLS.

Yes, it is possible to be friends first.
It’s likely that she’ll have “a good chance of it” in mind; possible that she’ll be thinking that you’re her new internet boyfriend.

I’d say that the ball is in your court. Make a proper first serve and first few volleys and you can probably set the proper tone. She might go psycho on you, but since this is definitely long distance it’s not like you have to worry about her stalking you or trashing your wheels.

I’d suggest that you stick to email for the first while and avoid instant messaging or phone calls. That’ll probably help.

Luck.

btw, what were your first impressions of Taiwan?

[quote=“Jaboney”]Welcome abroad, 1999OldsGLS.

Yes, it is possible to be friends first.
It’s likely that she’ll have “a good chance of it” in mind; possible that she’ll be thinking that you’re her new internet boyfriend.

I’d say that the ball is in your court. Make a proper first serve and first few volleys and you can probably set the proper tone. She might go psycho on you, but since this is definitely long distance it’s not like you have to worry about her stalking you or trashing your wheels.

I’d suggest that you stick to email for the first while and avoid instant messaging or phone calls. That’ll probably help.

Luck.

btw, what were your first impressions of Taiwan?[/quote]

Welcome “abroad”. Hehe. Nice one Jaboney. Cos he’s in Canada, right? :wink:

Anyway, I just want to say that Jaboney’s advice is good.

I don’t know how it works for men, but I think women SHOULD always become friends with men they are interested in. It gives them time to see how the person is. Do they match the qualities that are important to you? Also, become friends first allows you not to get swept up into the romance. There are no expections IMO with friendships, but with romances there seems to always be alot of them.

Best of luck, take you time and let the both of you get to know each other.

What’s all this about ‘psycho’ women? You guys may make them psycho, but this man has only ever encountered sweeeeeeeeet ladies. :wink:

There are as many well-balanced women here as anywhere; don’t be frightened off here by men who sent their women psycho by spending too much time online. :smiley:

[quote=“irishstu”]Welcome “abroad”. Hehe. Nice one Jaboney. Cos he’s in Canada, right? :wink:[/quote] Thanks. :laughing: Actually, I was thinking because he’d come here. But now he’s there. So, I don’t know. However you want to slice it, it sort of works.

So it wasn’t just a typo?

Thanks for the suggestions…I have been reading a lot in the forum as a guest but had made no posts…but i was too curious about this question that i had to register :slight_smile:

My first impression the first week was that i wanted to go home.
The next 2 weeks i really enjoyed myself. it was funny, when i went home i had a major reverse culture shock…even after 3 weeks.
I had the feeling to run a few red lights (j/k) But yea im planning to visit again next year in July… I was in Taipei in October

Thanks all for the replies

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Shag her first, then try and be friends with her. If after shagging her you lose interest quickly, as is often the case, she’s not the girl for you. Luckily you can fly back to Canada if things don’t work out, so even if she’s psycho a couple thousand miles distance of ocean will cool her heels. No worries! Just go for it, mate.

There is no “group”. We is what we is and that ain’t no group!

How would we know what she would think?

Committing? To what?

Congratulations.

So are we.

Overly simplistic might be closer to it. There are all kinds of women here. Some are unbelievably innocent, many PRETEND to be unbelievebaly innocent and a good many will play you like a cheap fiddle if you are dumb enough to let them.

thats putting it rather bluntly bob :slight_smile:
methinks there is a bit of built up resentment re: certain females you may have encountered in Taiwan… However blunt it may be, i think you may be 100% right on :beatnik:

Thanks. I was assuming the character of “little b bob - nice guy” for awhile but am now experimenting with “bobby blunt - bit of a cunt”. Be here all week.

Anyway, it would be nice if we could give you easy answers but the truth is there are all kinds of women here and it is impossible to say what they might be hoping for or expecting or what scheme they might be brewing. Of course there is also a good chance she is just a nice, resonably inteligent woman who simply thinks she clicked with someone nice. Anything you do now will tend only to confirm or contracdict that impression. The best thing you can do is be respectful and honest and see if she is too.

I think it’s somehow related to your having digested Fed Smith in that Hegelian mind fuck thing. It’s a kind of Freddy burp of sorts. If Fred re-merges here we know your schizophrenia is not responding to the new medicines.

My money’s on the latter, but rather than dumb enough, I’d go with, “if you can see it coming.” When all chapters of the Sun Tzu and every chicanery drawn from The Romance of the Three kingdoms are employed in the field of luurrrve, the foreigner, lacking this classical background, is usually the pawn.

HG

Actually I miss the hell out of fred smith. Nobody around here (perhaps nobody ever) has inspired me to maintain a reasonable line of reasoning over such an extended period of time. It’s educational I’ll admit and ironically I do find myself looking at more things from his point of view these days. I hope he comes back but if he does I doubt that either of us would waste too much time with pleasantries. We both like arguing too much.

On the other thing, yeah, I’d say that in the “game playing” department foriegn men here frequently don’t stand a chance.