There is a lot of talk about people ‘searching for love’ or ‘falling in love’ or ‘finding love’.
So much so, that many people have an ideal of what love means to them, perhaps built up by years and years of bullshit movies, books and TV.
So, is love something that you ‘find’? Is there ‘the one’ out there for you somewhere, and if you never find ‘the one’ you’re destined to years of loneliness?
Or, is is a choice? Is it about making a conscious decision about a person you care about, to love them, to create something significant out of something that perhaps starts small, to make a commitment?
If you think about it, one train of thought relies heavily on fate and chance, and another relies of giving, caring and sharing. Some people believe that any relationship that requires ‘work’ isn’t meant to be.
Lust comes at first sight and lasts a while, then you get to bickering and you either choose to stay or go. Spent plenty of time choosing the latter but lately am choosing to ride out the bickering as I reckon I’ve found me a keeper.
I found the greatest love of all is happening to me. I found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.
I don’t think that how you feel about someone is a choice. But you can choose to act on it, as you say, “to create something significant out of something that perhaps starts small, to make a commitment”, and that choice can then deepen the feelings you already had.
Well, I think before we can say whether love is a choice, we should define what love is.
Personally, I think there’s more than one kind of love; the love between parents and children, the love between lovers, and the love between friends…
As for the love between parents and children, I don’t think there’s a way to choose… Sometimes I wonder if I would still love my parents if they weren’t my parents. But everytime I think of that, I feel a sense of guilt inside, because then I think about the difficulties they had to deal with in order to raise me up and support my education etc., and that makes it more difficult to say that I don’t love them. I don’t know if I express it clearly enough, but what I am saying is that, for me, thereseems no way for me to say that I don’t love them, it’s more like that I have to love them.
And as for the love between lovers, I think as long as you know he or she is the one, there’s no such thing as a choice. But if people can’t understand what love requires, if they just want to find someone who can pay their bills or just to show others that they’re normal(because it seems that everyone should have a partner), then love just becomes a kind of choice with shallow meaning, and I believe that it will never bring you the happiness you thought you would have.
The love between friends…Well, I haven’t had a friend who I would really sacrifice myself for, so I shalll just stop here.
Have you been back to the exotic bar at Zhongxiao & Dunhua?
You will catch Syphillis you know?
4NT a minute? Have you got the number?[/quote]
I did go there. I don’t think anyone believes me. And the syph too. If you watch the rainbow channel you will get a lot of phone numbers. I think they are in Hong Kong and charge more the first minute.
[quote=“Richardm”]
I did go there. I don’t think anyone believes me. And the syph too. If you watch the rainbow channel you will get a lot of phone numbers. I think they are in Hong Kong and charge more the first minute.[/quote]
Thats because of the young fellas
Seriously though, the answer to this question is yes and no. I don’t think we have the capability to love everyone, but of those people that we are attracted to, you can then work towards a deeper kind of love.
What I thought was “love” was merely stalking. I don’t believe it exists, except in the deluded minds of the young. They’ll be quickly disilliusioned soon enough.
It starts with falling in love, spontaneously, without a deliberate choice, and then you choose to work on it, maintain it, improve it, build it.[/quote]
Yep.
To add a bit: Love is quite a pain in the ass, but it is also a source of tremendous personal fulfillment. You get to serve someone, forgive someone, on a regular basis. You are served and forgiven yourself.
I highly recommend it to those who have had enough of the “me, me, me” phase. Don’t get me wrong–that’s a wonderful phase, but for many people, it gets old after a time, and they realize there’s something more.
You talk about “love” as if it’s just something you can snap your fingers and have. As if it’s just another “lifestyle” choice.
If I find a girl in Taiwan I’m ever remotely interested in beyond fucking, I might care. As so far, I’m bored to death. I can’t talk to any of them beyond superficialities and I wonder if they even have any purpose in their existence beyond obsessing over relationships. Good god, it’s like so many women, relationships are ALL they care about…they could give a crap about politics, philosophy, art, religion, etc., all they want to talk about is boyfriends. Who wants a girl like that? And they are so shocked when we get bored and dump them. I don’t mean to be heartless, but that’s the way it is. Be interesting or get dumped, girls. And no I don’t give a crap about your shopping or your your hello kitty dolls or your stalking me about “where this relationship is going to go”. Talk to me about something more interesting than cats and maybe I will give a shit about you as more than a semen depository (to steal from Sandman’s quote in another thread). 99% if Taiwanese girls, I’m afraid that it is impossible for them to do anything more than that.
Dude, if you’d stop picking up bar flies, you might find some that give a crap. Try the politics or philosophy departments of grad schools or universities; or the same sections of the bookstores.
Dude, if you’d stop picking up bar flies, you might find some that give a crap. Try the politics or philosophy departments of grad schools or universities; or the same sections of the bookstores. [/quote]
I’ll be siding with Mod lang on this one… regardless of where you meet women, the vast majority of Taiwanese are clueless and don’t care.
It all stems from the general notion that who cares about learning, its the degree that counts. How many people do you see here reading a real book rather than a comic. I’ve never seen anyone here read The Economist or Time in 3 years.
However, perhaps I’ve had more luck and I have met some girls here that do have a clue…however they are rare gems to be treasured
DB is right, it all depends where you look, if you are looking for an easy night out, that’s what you’ll get, if you’re looking for a long time relationship with a decent woman who is intelligent and with whom you can have a decent conversation, you won’t find her at Carnegie on a thursday nite, so stop complaining and making ridiculous generalities about woman here will you?
Jesus H Christ to hear some of you talk it sounds like i’ve found myself a keeper. Think I’ll hang on to her for a long time. She reads highbrow stuff and not trash, enjoys good conversation and getting out of the city.
Most of the women i meet aren’t superficial, I work as a Tech writer and the women in the office are pretty intelligent and funny and it’s easy to flirt with them.
Maybe it’s because I don’t chat women up in bars that so far i’ve escaped the stereo types.
