no comparison to the dirty way chinese people handle marriage.
I saw/heard this right in front of me with a lady i knew who was married to a foriegner:
A: you married a foriegner
B: yes
A: you know i have a nephew that might be better for you. maybe you could come over to our house and meet him.
C(parent ofB) you know you really should meet him…
memory is cloudy on the details. i think all foriegners should be careful. in fact, you should tape them when you’re out of the room to find out what they really think of you.
this thread has potential.
Over the 10-10 “holiday” trip to a mountain resort with my inl-laws, I finally got tired of being referred to as the “waiguo/lao wai” and got up cussed everyone out in Spanish and left for about 6 hours. Fortunately I have a very good bro-in-law who tracked me down and he & I spent the time discussing how shitty families can be over quite a few Taiwan pi-jos, for me as he doesn’t drink very much. Except for tea.
This has been a constant problem since day 1. They all know my name, both English and my Chinese name, but still use, what I consider a belittling term, when referring to me when I am in the same darn room.
“Aii yooo the waiguos emotions are not stable…”
[quote=“TainanCowboy”] this thread has potential.
Over the 10-10 “holiday” trip to a mountain resort with my inl-laws, I finally got tired of being referred to as the “waiguo/lao wai” and got up cussed everyone out in Spanish "[/quote]
:roflmao: Oh I would have loved to seen the looks on their faces.
Men needing to be attached to their momma’s isn’t new. Hell, why do you think Eve was created. God got tired of watching Adam pick up after himself…
[quote=“TainanCowboy”] this thread has potential.
Over the 10-10 “holiday” trip to a mountain resort with my inl-laws, I finally got tired of being referred to as the “waiguo/lao wai” and got up cussed everyone out in Spanish and left for about 6 hours. Fortunately I have a very good bro-in-law who tracked me down and he & I spent the time discussing how shitty families can be over quite a few Taiwan pi-jos, for me as he doesn’t drink very much. Except for tea.
This has been a constant problem since day 1. They all know my name, both English and my Chinese name, but still use, what I consider a belittling term, when referring to me when I am in the same darn room.
“Aii yooo the waiguos emotions are not stable…”[/quote]
i dont think any spite was intended. I was born and raised on taiwan but am half white and i am still considered by my closest taiwanese friends as a foreigner. Now how funny is that? But its really not to be considered an insult to be called laowai. its a friendly term. Ah tok ah is not as friendly.
its identifying an elephant as an elephant (so to speak) 
:) Just chill, its ok. The “laowai” is an ancient part of taiwans history and is here to stay. Whitey has been hangin around taiwan for centuries dude, just chill
it musta been pretty funny tho when you blew up?? their mouths probably hit the floor?? cuz they sure aint used to THAT U can be on taiwan for the next century but you will still be a laowai, get used to it.
the term lao (old) is used affectionately even. LIke my friends called my GF lao mei (little sister) and you can call an older lady you are close to lao jei (older sister).
just like the term OLD NAVY came across in the usa. People said “oh its the good ol navy” affectionately if they served in the navy.
[quote=“tommy525”][quote=“TainanCowboy”] this thread has potential.
Over the 10-10 “holiday” trip to a mountain resort with my inl-laws, I finally got tired of being referred to as the “waiguo/lao wai” and got up cussed everyone out in Spanish and left for about 6 hours. Fortunately I have a very good bro-in-law who tracked me down and he & I spent the time discussing how shitty families can be over quite a few Taiwan pi-jos, for me as he doesn’t drink very much. Except for tea.
This has been a constant problem since day 1. They all know my name, both English and my Chinese name, but still use, what I consider a belittling term, when referring to me when I am in the same darn room.
“Aii yooo the waiguos emotions are not stable…”[/quote]
i dont think any spite was intended. I was born and raised on taiwan but am half white and i am still considered by my closest Taiwanese friends as a foreigner. Now how funny is that? But its really not to be considered an insult to be called laowai. its a friendly term. Ah tok ah is not as friendly.
its identifying an elephant as an elephant (so to speak) :) Just chill, its ok. The “laowai” is an ancient part of taiwans history and is here to stay. Whitey has been hangin around taiwan for centuries dude, just chill
it musta been pretty funny tho when you blew up?? their mouths probably hit the floor?? cuz they sure aint used to THAT U can be on taiwan for the next century but you will still be a laowai, get used to it.
the term lao (old) is used affectionately even. LIke my friends called my GF lao mei (little sister) and you can call an older lady you are close to lao jei (older sister).
just like the term OLD NAVY came across in the USA. People said “oh its the good ol navy” affectionately if they served in the navy.[/quote]
I’m not so convinced on this theory. None of my wife’s immediate family nor my close friends would ever call me lao wai . It’s jsut never come up and I’ve never made a fuss when “other” people have called me that. However, they do call other foreigners they do not know so well lao wai - and they talk to me about the lao wai - as in, “can you go talk to the lao wai over there, he looks unstable” - makes me think there is a difference. Anyway - this topic was 
in more threads than I wish to count. Your inner circle should not be calling you lao wai. As for the rest of the world, I think you can achieve adopted status. You’re a foreigner, but you’re thier foreigner. This usually comes after adult beverages when you get the, “you’re a foreigner but you’re not like them speach”. Gee thanks,…I guess…I think I can appreciate much more some of the complaints by African American’s in the US. (just don’t call me white folk OK?) 
he’s black but you’d never know it. he’s just “so us”.
he’s a foriegner but you’d never know it. he’s just “so us”.
see any similarity?
Mine call me by my Chinese name. I can’t remember them ever calling me “the foreigner,” except once when a young niece I’d never met said something about “the laowai” and got a very sharp reprimand from her granny – “He has a name. Use it.”
This topic has been done in other ways but still……I’d have to agree with the idea that close family shouldn’t be calling you laowai.
My ex-father-in-law once referred to me as “我們的 adogah” (Our big nose) when he was giving a speech to his colleagues from City Hall. He was retiring and invited about 50 people to lunch so he could show off a bit.
After the guests had left I politely told him that 雖然你沒有惡意但是在我的國家你講那種話會被看成你有種族歧視 “In my country, what you said would be considered racist, even if you meant it in a friendly way.”
Which he did, by the way, there was no malice at all that I could tell, just ignorance. He really thought he was making a friendly joke in front of his friends and family. And, he didn’t do it again but it left quite an impression.
I have to agree with most of the posters here. My Wife’s freinds, family, co-workers all have always used my English or Chinese name…even gave me an affectionate nickname…adding the “Ah” before the last charachter of my name. Makes me feel welcomed. They treat me like “their foreigner” and take pride in it, its kind of endearing in a strange way.
But, as this has been done to death, I will keep it short. Just let them know how you feel…try to hold back on the emotional outbursts and just talk to them like you would your family at home. They will get it. No worries. 
Edit: Had a discussion with my wife tonight and she put a lot of “local” insight on this subject for me. Her opinion:
Adohga = Taiwanese for “Big nose person”. Taiwanese language does not have an exact word for Foreigner. they use body features alot to describe other nationalities and people, even their own kind. This may seem strange compared to what we are accustomed to in the west, but for Taiwan it is the norm. It takes some adjusting to, but you have to. You are not home in the west anymore. This is how they do things here and it is the way they have been doing it for a very very very long time. It isnt going to change anytime soon. Just be aware of it and know that mostly, it is not meant to be insulting.
Wai Guo Ren and LaoWai are basically the same. They just mean “foreigner” with no ngeative meaning at all.
BUT!..Like in any other language, the meaning of the word can be changed by the tone that is used when saying it. If a Taiwanese person refers to you as any of these three names, 9 times out of 10 it is simply because they don’t know your name or they are just used to refering to foreigners as such. However, if they call you (when talking to you) any of these three terms…it is a bit strange and their tone is probably not good…it is more likely they would address you as 先生 or 小姐, just as they would when addressing a taiwanese person they didnt know.
The way you blew up on them just reinforced their impression that you are a “lao wai”, an unstable one at that. Try using a neon name tag like those they use in tupperware parties the next time you meet them. It’s a lot more effective than cursing them in Spanish. I do think however that right now after dropping your bomb they’ll still be calling you laowai, except with a descriptive term in the beginning (ex. “#$%%#@# laowai”)
[quote=“Red Frog”]The way you blew up on them just reinforced their impression that you are a “lao wai”, an unstable one at that. Try using a neon name tag like those they use in tupperware parties the next time you meet them. It’s a lot more effective than cursing them in Spanish. I do think however that right now after dropping your bomb they’ll still be calling you laowai, except with a descriptive term in the beginning (ex. “#$%%#@# laowai”)[/quote]Red Frog -
You are hilarious. Ever think of open mike nite at the Comedy Club?
[quote=“TainanCowboy”][quote=“Red Frog”]The way you blew up on them just reinforced their impression that you are a “lao wai”, an unstable one at that. Try using a neon name tag like those they use in tupperware parties the next time you meet them. It’s a lot more effective than cursing them in Spanish. I do think however that right now after dropping your bomb they’ll still be calling you laowai, except with a descriptive term in the beginning (ex. “#$%%#@# laowai”)[/quote]Red Frog -
You are hilarious. Ever think of open mike night at the Comedy Club?[/quote]
I try hard to be insulting but nobody ever takes me seriously.
[/quote]AAF -
Baie dankie Baas!
[quote=“Quarters”]
Adohga = Taiwanese for “Big nose person”. Taiwanese language does not have an exact word for Foreigner. they use body features alot to describe other nationalities and people, even their own kind. This may seem strange compared to what we are accustomed to in the west, but for Taiwan it is the norm. It takes some adjusting to, but you have to. You are not home in the west anymore. This is how they do things here and it is the way they have been doing it for a very very very long time. It isnt going to change anytime soon. Just be aware of it and know that mostly, it is not meant to be insulting.
Wai Guo Ren and LaoWai are basically the same. They just mean “foreigner” with no ngeative meaning at all.[/quote]
Off the topic, just thinkg the Adohga is a interesting topic for me.
FYI
Adohga is Taiwanese. There is another term in Taiwanese, Ong-mo(a)紅毛(仔). It means ‘red hair’. Although not all caucasians have red hair, but the most of first arrival dutch people have (in 16 centry). So Taiwanese generalised to all western people and sometimes use that to call caucasians.
Taiwanese is a fairly objective description in Chinese language for foreigner. In Cantonese, the foreinger is called Gwei-low 鬼佬, “ghost mate”. It also not an insult. Because in the vrey very old time, when Chinese saw caucasians, the height and pale skin frightened them. In their mind, only dead people has pale skin. So they called caucasians like that. The insult one i can think is in Mandarin, Yang gwei zi 洋鬼子 “overseas ghosty”. The origin is the same as Cantonese, but i think most of time it is used in a scorn way.
I think Taiwanese is learning to get the idea about Nationality and Ethnic and will deal with the language more precisely. (in order to get the idea of independency from China and still being Chinese) These terms will be used less and less in the future.
Hope this can help you know whether it is an insult. And if you really don’t like to be called Wai Gou Ren, just correct them. Tell them where you come from and your name. At least, they will call you, Hey that American, or Hey that Canadian, etc.
[/quote]AAF -
Baie dankie Baas![/quote]
Plesier, ou dier!
As a follow-up.
Since my ‘Spanish Lesson’ over the holiday, the worst offenders are now referring to me as Ah-___. My first name in English which also is the last word in my Chinese name.
The other family members explained to them that they were embarrassing the family by continuing to call me the other names, especially in my presence, after 3 years.
I still poke fun at them by kissing the worst one on both cheeks, a la’ European style, when I greet her…she hates that…heh heh heh.
“Aii yooo…tell him we don’t do that!”
The fun never ends…
[quote=“TainanCowboy”]As a follow-up.
Since my ‘Spanish Lesson’ over the holiday, the worst offenders are now referring to me as Ah-___. My first name in English which also is the last word in my Chinese name.
The other family members explained to them that they were embarrassing the family by continuing to call me the other names, especially in my presence, after 3 years.
I still poke fun at them by kissing the worst one on both cheeks, a la’ European style, when I greet her…she hates that…heh heh heh.
“Aii yooo…tell him we don’t do that!”
The fun never ends…[/quote]
So you see problem solved, no worries. Now that they are using the effectionate Ah-(name) you are being treated like a good close friend. Good for you
[quote=“Quarters”][quote=“TainanCowboy”]As a follow-up.
Since my ‘Spanish Lesson’ over the holiday, the worst offenders are now referring to me as Ah-___. My first name in English which also is the last word in my Chinese name.
The other family members explained to them that they were embarrassing the family by continuing to call me the other names, especially in my presence, after 3 years.
I still poke fun at them by kissing the worst one on both cheeks, a la’ European style, when I greet her…she hates that…heh heh heh.
“Aii yooo…tell him we don’t do that!”
The fun never ends…[/quote]
So you see problem solved, no worries. Now that they are using the effectionate Ah-(name) you are being treated like a good close friend. Good for you [/quote]
That problem that is supposed to be “solved” will come back and bite you in the arse someday when you least expect it.