Jimipresley'll Fix It!

[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“bismarck”]

Jimi,

I need to be independently wealthy so that I can watch sports without the hassle of going out to make money, and stay of Forumosa all day.
Failing vast wealth, a job that pays me to do that would be fine, also.

Can you fix it?[/quote]
Simple. Start a Satellite TV company. Then you can watch sport all day, write tripe on the flob and be independently wealthy. I’ve seen this method in action.

The Leisure Genie[/quote]
Indeed, but I think that market’s cornered! :bravo:

OK. So then simply stop choosing the incorrect Lotto numbers.

I don’t even play the lottery. :ponder: Perhaps I should start.

[quote=“housecat”][quote=“bismarck”]Dear Jimi,
PS - Failing that, I’ll settle for a pair of 36DDs![/quote]

Sheesh! You need to learn to dream BIG!

Dear Jimi,

I miss Chiefy something awful. Can you fix it?[/quote]
heheheeheheheheh I have to tell it to the husband…does it apply to the behinds?

[quote=“jimipresley”]Easy peasy.

[strike]Crusaders by 5[/strike] [color=#FF0000]Draw[/color]
[strike]Stormers by 9[/strike] [color=#FF0000]Force by 1[/color]
Bulls by 12
Chiefs by 15
Waratahs by 16
Sharks by 2[/quote]
:fume:

[quote=“bismarck”][quote=“jimipresley”]Easy peasy.

[strike]Crusaders by 5[/strike] [color=#FF0000]Draw[/color]
[strike]Stormers by 9[/strike] [color=#FF0000]Force by 1[/color]
Bulls by 12
Chiefs by 15
Waratahs by 16
Sharks by 2[/quote]
:fume:[/quote]
Don’t expect me to tell the TRUTH when we’re COMPETING. Perhaps you should try the “Ask Wairau” thread.

Dear Jimi,

It appears very much as though one of my favorite sports teams won’t make the playoffs.
Can you fix it?

Thanks,
kk

[quote=“k.k.”]Dear Jimi,

It appears very much as though one of my favorite sports teams won’t make the playoffs.
Can you fix it?

Thanks,
kk[/quote]
Dear Mr K.K

You would first have to inform me which team you are referring to.

Respectfully
The #$%@-off Genie

[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“k.k.”]Dear Jimi,

It appears very much as though one of my favorite sports teams won’t make the playoffs.
Can you fix it?

Thanks,
kk[/quote]
Dear Mr K.K

You would first have to inform me which team you are referring to.

Respectfully
The #$%@-off Genie[/quote]
So you’re saying you can’t help?
Needs to know which team?
What kind of gyp genie are you? :aiyo:

[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“bismarck”][quote=“jimipresley”]Easy peasy.

[strike]Crusaders by 5[/strike] [color=#FF0000]Draw[/color]
[strike]Stormers by 9[/strike] [color=#FF0000]Force by 1[/color]
Bulls by 12
Chiefs by 15
Waratahs by 16
Sharks by 2[/quote]
:fume:[/quote]
Don’t expect me to tell the TRUTH when we’re COMPETING. Perhaps you should try the “Ask Wairau” thread.[/quote]
:roflmao: This week, at least.

[quote=“k.k.”]
So you’re saying you can’t help?
Needs to know which team?
What kind of gyp genie are you? :aiyo:[/quote]
Don’t be ridiculous. I can do anything. I just need a hair sample or a piece of clothing or something.

[quote=“k.k.”]
So you’re saying you can’t help?
Needs to know which team?
What kind of gyp genie are you? :aiyo:[/quote]
Just hold on a minute here. I have consulted my Oracle. She sees the color blue somewhere. It’s hazy, but…wait…
mmm…I’m getting a date…urm…1977, I think…something about a good beginning and later humiliation…history repeating itself…I sense much emotion…wait…something about birds…the letter “J” keeps popping up…uh…

The Oracle informs me that your team will end up in 5th place. Sorry, but there is nothing that I can do to rectify this. Despite my omnipotence, when a team is crap, they are just crap. Who am I to meddle with the Natural Order Of Things?

The Gaston Genie

Dear Jimi,

This morning I made passionate love to my wife three times. Then I had a private adult student, who sucked me off. After a quick lunch, I went to work, where unfortunately I had an argument with a student who threatened to get me fired. Fortunately, after a good banging, the boss was very reasonable and even gave me a promotion.

Mid afternoon, I had a break between classes, and went home intending to have a quiet jerk-off. But my cock hurt really, really bad! Why is this, and more importantly, can you fix it?

Better hurry up, wife gets home soon.

Yours,
Troubled.

[quote=“ice raven”]Dear Jimi,

This morning I made passionate love to my wife three times. Then I had a private adult student, who sucked me off. After a quick lunch, I went to work, where unfortunately I had an argument with a student who threatened to get me fired. Fortunately, after a good banging, the boss was very reasonable and even gave me a promotion.

Mid afternoon, I had a break between classes, and went home intending to have a quiet jerk-off. But my cock hurt really, really bad! Why is this, and more importantly, can you fix it?

Better hurry up, wife gets home soon.

Yours,
Troubled.[/quote]
Dear Troubled

Yes, I can fix it. If you meet me at Taipei Main Station at 2PM today, I will happily squirt some superglue into your urethra and tie your cock in a knot. Combined with 20mg of Haloperidol administered three times per day, you should be right as rain within a few years.

Sincerely
The Knot Genie

[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“k.k.”]
So you’re saying you can’t help?
Needs to know which team?
What kind of gyp genie are you? :aiyo:[/quote]
Just hold on a minute here. I have consulted my Oracle. She sees the color blue somewhere. It’s hazy, but…wait…
mmm…I’m getting a date…urm…1977, I think…something about a good beginning and later humiliation…history repeating itself…I sense much emotion…wait…something about birds…the letter “J” keeps popping up…uh…

The Oracle informs me that your team will end up in 5th place. Sorry, but there is nothing that I can do to rectify this. Despite my omnipotence, when a team is crap, they are just crap. Who am I to meddle with the Natural Order Of Things?

The Gaston Genie[/quote]
I will have no choice now but to question your genie abilities. Wrong sport genie. B-ball isn’t even underway yet. The hockey post-season is a week away though. :smiley:
No playoffs likely though for my NY Islanders. Your oracle was right about the color blue somewhere…on the jersey and in my heart. :cry:

Hey fixer, I need a cleaner.

[quote=“k.k.”][quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“k.k.”]
So you’re saying you can’t help?
Needs to know which team?
What kind of gyp genie are you? :aiyo:[/quote]
Just hold on a minute here. I have consulted my Oracle. She sees the color blue somewhere. It’s hazy, but…wait…
mmm…I’m getting a date…urm…1977, I think…something about a good beginning and later humiliation…history repeating itself…I sense much emotion…wait…something about birds…the letter “J” keeps popping up…uh…

The Oracle informs me that your team will end up in 5th place. Sorry, but there is nothing that I can do to rectify this. Despite my omnipotence, when a team is crap, they are just crap. Who am I to meddle with the Natural Order Of Things?

The Gaston Genie[/quote]
I will have no choice now but to question your genie abilities. Wrong sport genie. B-ball isn’t even underway yet. The hockey post-season is a week away though. :smiley:
No playoffs likely though for my NY Islanders. Your oracle was right about the color blue somewhere…on the jersey and in my heart. :cry:[/quote]

How dare you question the presleygenie!
:fume:

You wrote, and I quote, "It appears very much as though one of my favorite sports teams won’t make the playoffs.
Can you fix it? "

Are you now denying that the Toronto Blue Jays are “one of your favorite sports teams?” :ponder: Cuz I can provide some pathetic links if needed . . .

Or are you denying that it “appears very much like the Blue Jays won’t make the playoffs?” :ponder: I mean, what are the Vegas odds at the moment? :ponder: . . . I just checked. :smiley: Only the Nationals and Pirates have worse chances out of 30 teams. :stuck_out_tongue:

Perhaps when you asked the question about your lowly hockey team, you were subconsciously worrying about your lowly baseball team, which is currently tied for 5th place. :neutral:

Isn’t that more likely than a mistake by the genie? :ponder:

I think you owe jimi an apology. :neutral:

And not in a PM, either!

You should apologize to all of us as well for trying to shake our faith in the genie! :raspberry:

Zender shall forthwith be known as the SmileyGenie.

[quote=“zender”][quote=“k.k.”][quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“k.k.”]
So you’re saying you can’t help?
Needs to know which team?
What kind of gyp genie are you? :aiyo:[/quote]
Just hold on a minute here. I have consulted my Oracle. She sees the color blue somewhere. It’s hazy, but…wait…
mmm…I’m getting a date…urm…1977, I think…something about a good beginning and later humiliation…history repeating itself…I sense much emotion…wait…something about birds…the letter “J” keeps popping up…uh…

The Oracle informs me that your team will end up in 5th place. Sorry, but there is nothing that I can do to rectify this. Despite my omnipotence, when a team is crap, they are just crap. Who am I to meddle with the Natural Order Of Things?

The Gaston Genie[/quote]
I will have no choice now but to question your genie abilities. Wrong sport genie. B-ball isn’t even underway yet. The hockey post-season is a week away though. :smiley:
No playoffs likely though for my NY Islanders. Your oracle was right about the color blue somewhere…on the jersey and in my heart. :cry:[/quote]

How dare you question the presleygenie!
:fume:

You wrote, and I quote, "It appears very much as though one of my favorite sports teams won’t make the playoffs.
Can you fix it? "

Are you now denying that the Toronto Blue Jays are “one of your favorite sports teams?” :ponder: Cuz I can provide some pathetic links if needed . . .

Or are you denying that it “appears very much like the Blue Jays won’t make the playoffs?” :ponder: I mean what are the Vegas odds at the moment? :ponder: . . . I just checked. :smiley: Only the Nationals and Pirates have worse chances out of 30 teams. :stuck_out_tongue:

Perhaps when you asked the question about your lowly hockey team, you were subconsciously worrying about your lowly baseball team, which is currently tied for 5th place. :neutral:

Isn’t that more likely than a mistake by the genie? :ponder:

I think you owe jimi an apology. :neutral:

And not in a PM, either!

You should apologize to all of us as well for trying to shake our faith in the genie! :raspberry:[/quote]
:laughing:

The genie can and will and SHOULD BE questioned! He couldn’t even figure out which sport and team I was talking about. Shouldn’t a genie already know these things? Geez, you’re setting the genie bar pretty low if I’m expected to spell it all out for him.

Certainly not denying my being a fan of the Blue Jays. Not too concerned about their playoff possibilities as that is a question for Aug/Sept, not now, despite what the haters will think going into the season. :ohreally:

The genie was never asked about ML Baseball though, nor any of its teams. Hockey, my friend, hockey.

The jury is still very much out on Jimi Genie and his genie abilities, sorry to say! :stuck_out_tongue:

Shit, you know, I probably should have checked. Is there some sort of curse possibility for questioning a genie?