Joke in orthographically correct Taiwanese / Minnan

闽南话 笑话:

有 一 個 做 穡 人(註1) , 囝 兒(註2) 去 美 國 留 學 轉 來(註3) .
老 父 問 囝 兒 講 : " 予 汝 去 美 國 讀 彼 爾 濟(註4) 年 冊, 倒 底 美 國 話 是 會 曉(註5) 講 抑(註6) 未 曉(註7) ?

囝 兒 講 : " 會 , 哪 會 未 曉 ? "

老 父 講 : " 若 會 , 我 共 汝 考 一 下 . 牛 , 美 國 話 按 怎(註8) 講 ? "

囝 兒 講 : " c o w "

老 父 講 : " 牛 , 美 國 話 號 做 (註9)狗 ? 抑 無(註10) , 狗 , 美 國 話 按 怎 講 ? "

囝 兒 講 : " d o g "

老 父 講 : " 狗 , 美 國 話 號 做 鹿 ? 抑 無 , 鹿 , 美 國 話 按 怎 講 ? "

囝 兒 講 : " d e e r "

老 父 講 : " 鹿 , 美 國 話 號 做 豬 兒 ? 抑 無 , 豬 兒 , 美 國 話 按 怎 講 ? "

囝 兒 講 : " p i g "

老 父 愈 聽 愈 受 氣(註11) ,扁 擔 舉 起 來 , 對 尻 川 (註12) 就 共(註13) 伊 ㄒㄧㄠ3(註14) 落 去 .

講 : " 恁(註15) 娘 哩 ! 專 騙 的 , 騙 恁 父 未 曉 美 國 話 , 啥 物(註16) 豬 兒 叫 做 " 屁 股 "亦 有 這 款 大 誌 ?

[註]:

1.做穡人:農人,莊稼漢.

2.囝兒:小孩,唸做 ging a- 回本文 回本文(予伊活活鹹死)

3.轉來:回來. 回本文 回本文(予伊活活鹹死) 回本文(明兒早起較早來)

4.彼爾濟:那麼多

5.會曉:會

6.抑:或者 回本文

7.未曉:不會

8.按怎:如何

9.號做:稱為

10.抑無:要不 回本文

11.受氣:生氣 回本文

12.尻川:屁股

13.共:將

14.ㄒㄧㄠ3;打

15.恁:你們

16.啥物:什麼 回本文

17.大誌:事情

18.笑詼:幽默

19.滾耍笑:開玩笑

:laughing: actually I read that one before somewhere.

It’s very nice to be able to understand such a joke even though I wouldn’t understand a word of it if spoken to me or written phonetically.

without the annotations, how much do you estimate you would understand?

Pretty much everything, seeing as how I didn’t read the annotations. I just pasted the whole thing for everyone’s benefit.

The words, especially the grammatical ones and pronouns are often not unique to Min-Nan dialect. The characters, too, have full meaning, and are in most cases fully meaningful classically, but have simply fallen archaic in Mandarin. This passage is not particularly difficult.

funny how the writer felt all those annotations were needed.

Funny how the writer was trying to teach illiterate Taiwanese who write shit like 哩共虾米 instead of properly as 汝讲啥物

so if you want to write in taiwanese you have to learn it, knowing chinese will not be enough.

An illiterate one needs to learn what one is actually saying, yes.

so someone knowing chinese is actually illiterate in taiwanese.

If by ‘illiterate in Taiwanese,’ you mean ‘cannot read written Taiwanese,’ then not so. If by ‘illiterate in Taiwanese,’ you mean ‘cannot write what one speaks, if it is Taiwanese,’ then no also, since what one speaks is assumed by you not to be Taiwanese.