A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks:
“Daddy, can’t you just use a sponge?”
7 Likes
Thanks for this enertainment, I actually found myself disappointed when those adverts at the end were not active links 
3 Likes
My cross-eyed ex wife has been sacked from her job as a teacher.
She couldn’t control her pupils.
2 Likes
What’s the difference between Emma Raducanu and Prince Andrew?
Emma’s not scared of an American court.
If I had to describe myself in three words, I’d say, “not good at math.”
3 Likes
What do you call a cat that drives a taxi?
A Tabby Cabby
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Five years ago, I messaged a random woman on Tinder, asking her to go on a date with me. Today, I asked her to be my wife.
She said “No” both times.
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I came home drunk last night and didn’t want to wake anyone up so I just stuck two French pancakes to my feet and crêped up the stairs…
1 Like
Human: We have a color named after you!
Salmon: Really? Is it silvery blue like my skin?
Human: No, uh…
Salmon: Wait, why is it pink?
Human: …
Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK?!?
2 Likes
I saw a German man jump into a freezing cold pond to rescue a dog who was drowning.
He climbed out, handed over the dog and said, “Here is ze dog. Dry him off, keep him vorm, he vill be fine.”
“Are you a vet?” I asked.
He replied, “Vet?!? I’m fucking soaking!”
3 Likes
My wife and I met on a website for dolphin impersonators.
We clicked right away…
2 Likes
Are you just going through your “bumper book of stupid jokes” a page at a time here? 
I don’t get it
Must be a British thing… 
I had a book when i was about 7 called the bumper book of fun, or something similar. Your daily jokes are very familiar
what’s the punchline?