Joke of the Day 2021

Recreation Fun & Games
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181

SIGN IN A RADIATOR SHOP:

Best place in town to take a leak.

2 Likes
182

You mean a radiator repair shop, right? Because I would hate to buy a new one and find it defective. :doh:

183

I spent the morning down at the beach feeding hash brownies to the seabirds.

No tern was left unstoned.

4 Likes
184

Dear diary today I learned a new word. Initially I pictured shredded brownies drenched in oil and fried.

1 Like
185

SIGN ON ANOTHER PLUMBER’S TRUCK:

Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

2 Likes
186

That sounds good too!

187

Hash brown brownies? :thinking: Strange flavor combo though…

188

Nah, when you high anything goes. Just grab it as a side for your donut burger:

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189

Which one of Darth Vader’s daughters helped him get to the top?

Ella Vader.

2 Likes
190

SIGN OUTSIDE A MUFFLER SHOP:

No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

3 Likes
191

What did the stuffing say to the turkey?

I’m so into you!

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192

Imagine if you got a Cranberries song stuck in your heeeeeeead, in your heeeeeeead…

3 Likes
193

Damn you, ruminant!

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194

:laughing:

195

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196

What did the volcanic island say when it started to split apart?

I don’t like this atoll…

1 Like
197

Well, how happy would you be if you’d had yer peninsula cut off?

4 Likes
198

Paddy is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mary, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Paddy turns to Mary and asks, “Do you know what I miss most of all?”
She asks, "What?’’
“Sex.” he replies.
Mary exclaims, “Why you old toot. You couldn’t get it up if I held a gun to your head!”
“I know,” says Paddy, “but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.”
“Well, I can oblige,” says Mary, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mary would hold Paddy’s thingie.
Then one night Paddy didn’t show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mary decided to find him and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Paddy’s’s little pal!
Furious, Mary yelled, “You two-timing son-of-a-gun!! What does Ethel have that I don’t have?”
Old Paddy smiled happily and replied, “Parkinson’s”

2 Likes
199

When I worked at a dairy I once fell into a large vat of milk.

Pasteurized?

No, just up to my waist.

200

How do astronauts blow their noses in space?

Well, it’s “snot rocket science”

3 Likes