My wife is kicking me out because she’s fed up with my South American animal puns.
“OK,” I said. “Alpaca my bags.”
3 Likes
If you ever get caught in a Corn Maze, just follow your ears
1 Like
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Me: That’s when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.
Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.
4 Likes
That’s two corny jokes in a row 
What did Han Solo name his clone?
Han Duo
1 Like
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy
The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”
The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze” so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says “I’ll be an artist” so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says “I got a masters degree in art.”
4 Likes
Three men were buried under a landslide in China.
They were inside a car when it happened and miraculously still had cell phone service.
The first man made a phone call to the police:
“I’m a good citizen and husband, please come save us!”
The police told him they will come for them in 24 hours
The second man made a phone call to the army:
“Comrade, I served the country as you do, please get me out of here!”
The soldier told him they will come for them in 12 hours
The final man made a phone call to someone, and made a whisper of which the other two men couldn’t hear.
Within an hour, the men were dug out and rescued
Upon their rescue, a group of police officers walked up to the weary men:
“Alright, which one of you said Taiwan is a country?”
11 Likes
I always thought orthopedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.
4 Likes
What do moustaches wear on a hike?
Their Fu Man Shoes
Having too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, having too much pie is okay, because the sin of pi is always zero
5 Likes
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing…
But this is as close as I could get.
5 Likes
A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks:
“Daddy, can’t you just use a sponge?”
7 Likes
Thanks for this enertainment, I actually found myself disappointed when those adverts at the end were not active links 
3 Likes
My cross-eyed ex wife has been sacked from her job as a teacher.
She couldn’t control her pupils.
2 Likes
What’s the difference between Emma Raducanu and Prince Andrew?
Emma’s not scared of an American court.
