Don’t forget the possibility of going up, um, another food chain related to the management team at the school in question. Not something to mention at this point to them, but you can have it tucked away in your own mind. It might take the edge off some of the more vituperative comments they will come up with about your character, which will then allow you to show NOTHING on your face and have no reaction at all. (After all, why should you feel upset? Obviously it is all lies, so you will just listen to what they have to say and repeat gently using the gentle-drip-of-water-on-stone method, “I’m so sorry you feel that way, even though that’s not how it happened. But today’s issue is not that; it is the terms of the contract/your actions in dismissing me from this job.”
Also – speak VERY SLOWLY and use the simplest sentences you can possibly come up with. Chop up any long or complex thought into simple sentences. Keep each sentence as short as possible. Although you have a competent interpreter with you (we hope) of course everyone speaks English to some degree, and actually sort of sitting down and “simplifying” what you’re going to say to the second-grade level or below is a good way to organize your own thoughts while ensuring that the main points you need to make get through.
Also, you will come across as calm and collected if you speak super-slowly. The whole fast-English thing is so intimidating, you know (especially if you’re dealing with a school where English is taught… )
[quote=“housecat”][quote=“tsukinodeynatsu”]Ahhhh my teacher at school today asked why AIT hasn’t been contacted yet?
I told her that AIT don’t get involved in these kind of disputes and she said that was ridiculous, as long as you are an American citizen than AIT will provide help. I’m not sure what kind of help though…
Anybody know what AIT can do?[/quote]
I really don’t think that they could do anything at all, but I could call up in the morning and find out. They were very, very helpful to me in the past about very different matters, but I think all they will say about this is that they could give me a list of lawyers or legal aid.[/quote]
I doubt AIT will be of much help seeing how their hours are 9-12 and 2-3:30 Monday through Friday, they get all of the western holidays, and all the Chinese ones.
Yeah, but to be fair there are worlds of difference between AIT Taipei and AIT Kaohsiung. Or at least, there used to be. The people in Kaohsiung were MARVELOUS before, and I’ll be forever greatful.
Good luck, housecat and remember one important thing: the insults are designed to make your prove that you are worthy of them. They will keep saying you are a liar until you trip up and say something in retribution that isn’t completely true. They will goad you with taunts of how unstable you are until you blow up.
It’s not even deliberate which is why they are so effective at it. It’s just how horrible people behave.
I had a supervisor once who would call people on their way to work and leave a “you’re fired” message on their cell phone. Most would still show up demanding some kind of explanation. He would literally run into his office as if scared and lock the door forcing the person to shout and knock of the door for him to come out. Most people would lose it after a while and start banging on the door which then gave him all the justification he needed in front of the staff for firing the person in the first place.
[quote=“Mucha Man”]Good luck, housecat and remember one important thing: the insults are designed to make your prove that you are worthy of them. They will keep saying you are a liar until you trip up and say something in retribution that isn’t completely true. They will goad you with taunts of how unstable you are until you blow up.
It’s not even deliberate which is why they are so effective at it. It’s just how horrible people behave.
I had a supervisor once who would call people on their way to work and leave a “you’re fired” message on their cell phone. Most would still show up demanding some kind of explanation. He would literally run into his office as if scared and lock the door forcing the person to shout and knock of the door for him to come out. Most people would lose it after a while and start banging on the door which then gave him all the justification he needed in front of the staff for firing the person in the first place.
Good luck.[/quote]
He should have been forcibly sterilized. What a worm.
[quote=“Mucha Man”]It’s not even deliberate which is why they are so effective at it. It’s just how horrible people behave.
[/quote]
With the particular group of people represented by the management of the school in question, it is often deliberate, as sad a commentary as that may be. So HC mus be on her guard.
[quote=“ironlady”][quote=“Muzha Man”]It’s not even deliberate which is why they are so effective at it. It’s just how horrible people behave.
[/quote]
With the particular group of people represented by the management of the school in question, it is often deliberate, as sad a commentary as that may be. So HC mus be on her guard.[/quote]
Ironlady, Housecat,
What is the news here? I’ve been thinking about HC and hoping that something is shaking out in a good way.
I’m back in the States now…it’s all HC going forward. [color=#0040FF]JĪA[/color][color=#00BF00]yóU[/color]! [color=#0040FF]JĪA[/color][color=#00BF00]yóU[/color]!
Thanks for the gas, guys! I’m about to leave the house. Trying to re-read advice–calm, cool, don’t take insults personally. Know what I want going in. God, sometimes I wish I were a man.
Some men are “calm, cool, [and] don’t take insults personally” in business confrontations.
Then again, some men are not so.
Here’s what I think HC means. In negotiations, trying to trigger emotion in the adverse party is a common ploy; by emotionality, the adverse party will often signal what is vitally important to them, and what is expendable. Knowing what is vital raises its negotiating value to the party that controls it; the non-vital stuff may be easily obtained. Many women, even women lawyers, have difficulty staying at the abstract level and get sucked into an emotional whirlwind; they may not show it, but behind the “face” is turbulence.
You’ve already left HC, but my fingers are crossed for you. Really, you could use something positive to come out of this, so I’m hoping you at least get something.
[quote=“maunaloa”]Some men are “calm, cool, [and] don’t take insults personally” in business confrontations.
Then again, some men are not so.
Here’s what I think HC means. In negotiations, trying to trigger emotion in the adverse party is a common ploy; by emotionality, the adverse party will often signal what is vitally important to them, and what is expendable. Knowing what is vital raises its negotiating value to the party that controls it; the non-vital stuff may be easily obtained. Many women, even women lawyers, have difficulty staying at the abstract level and get sucked into an emotional whirlwind; they may not show it, but behind the “face” is turbulence.[/quote]
I thought she meant she wanted to be able to pee standing up.
Peeing standing up is quite a boon, especially on a train with a squat toilet.
But never mind that. I was wishing to be a man because I hate having to feel tougher than I actually am.
But never mind that.
It’s over. The labor board decided that I had signed the contract cancelation paper, and even though they understand why I signed it, by Taiwan law unless someone else took my hand and signed it, then that’s that. The school side was very smug at this point.
Then the labor board said that I should be paid my sick days and one and a half days worked in November, and the school agreed–but then insisted that I should pay December school fees. We argued and went back and forth over this for a long time. In the end, we split the difference. I settled for a pittifully small amount of money, but I really just wanted the process to be over with. I have something. I really thought that they would simply refuse to cooperate, and the fact that they DID makes me very sure that I would have won had we gone to court, but I just don’t have the stomach for much more of this. I’ve been under too much stress for too long to handle much more.
I ALMOST went over the table at the lawyer a time or two. That stupid jackass was just insulting as he could be. BUT Rob’s advice warning me about this tactic was present enough in my mind to keep me from it, though I did offer to just forget the entire process and take that asswipe to court. But in slightly prettier language. They didn’t take me up on it. Thanks, Rob!
Thanks for all your kind thoughts and good wishes! The name of the school is:
[color=#FF0000]
Kaohsiung Dominican School
[/color].
I have more to say, and more thanks for Tsukinodenatsu, but I have to meet someone. I’ll write more when I’m back.
It sounds like it went the best it could, given the circumstances. THANK YOU for standing your ground… I’m not even a teacher but I know it helps future teachers who will come after you.
Why am I not surprised that it’s a religious school? Whoops, that’s for another topic! LOL
I hope you will take a day off to regroup and feel the freedom of being away from these unethical idiots.
)
