Not what I’m saying. For one thing, it would be really hard to prosecute someone for what Spacey did. So if you accept the law as the arbiter of what’s abuse and what isn’t, you’ve got a reasonably good yardstick.
Merely pointing out that, back when I were a lad - when Victoria presided over the Empire - Spacey would have got a righteous punch in the face and that would have been the end of the matter. Nobody needs to wheel out lawyers and a jury for something like that.
So far be it from me to draw the line between soul-scarring abuse and a drunken, inappropriate pass gone horribly wrong, but I suggest it’s something like this:
(a) If it stops as soon as someone makes it clear they’re not interested, it’s just a really bad mistake, somebody misread the signals and/or let his/her hormones overrule his thought processes, a sincere apology is due, and everyone can move on.
(b) If it carries on well beyond that point, it’s something different entirely.
As Andrew and Dr Milker said, we’ll never know what happened, but unless other people start popping up with some seriously unpleasant stories, It sounds like it might have been a one-off instance of (a).
I’ve had a few inappropriate passes from gay men and thought nothing of it. They tried it on, got a ‘thanks but no thanks’, and backed off. No big deal.
Feel free to point out flaws in my logic, as opposed to just dismissing my right to deploy some.
Doesn’t often happen, and don’t see what it has to do with the story, but when it does I don’t crawl into a corner and have a little cry. There’s usually a simple solution, eg., calling him out as a cnut, ignoring him, or (in some cases) seeing if he’ll change his mind.