Language of the heart issue

I am taking to a woman who speaks Mandarin and only a little bit of English, whereas I am the exact opposite. When we talk it is only in Mandarin.

I won’t get into a ton of detail here, but, a Chinese friend told me today that the language of the heart will always be a persons first language. So that got me thinking, even if I successfully learn Mandarin or she learns English, will we never be able to communicate our feelings and feel comfortable no matter how long we are together?

That’s not true. My language of the heart can be Czech as well as probably English, neither one being my first language (which I already speak with an accent, as the other natives say).

Not true. My wife Taiwanese doesn’t like to hear terms of endearment from me in Chinese because she first heard them in English.

Thanks, I feel better now.

Hearing that guy tell me that we will both only have feelings in our own language made me feel as if I was wasting my time, so i’m glad to hear that it’s not true in all cases.

Language of the heart is action, deeds, understanding, forgiveness, sacrifice, or perhaps selflessness is more palatable. Faith and perseverance help too. Conversation in both languages improves over time, as does instinctive awareness of others needs. Don’t take the negative vibes of others too seriously. Just my 2cts.

Eh whomever told you this is lying. I am involved with a tri-lingual relationship. She is native georgian speaker, I am native english speaker, we met in Germany speaking German. It has gone pretty well for over a year now, even if our conversations swap between the three.

The strongest connection is the willingness to be together. IF you both have this, the most important language is the language of love.

Did you ever tell her what you really want in your heart?? A mother ever told her daughter : “I bring you to the world and I have been living with you more than 30 years, but I never knew what you think, what you are going to do next or even how you feel cause you never revealed your true feelings or thinking to me.”
You probably notice from the Taiwan TV news these days - A guy who used to be gentle and tender to his families killing his own parents and also make his wife and very young children seriously wounded. If even parents unable to know what their children are thinking, who can?? I think that is what your friend mean " Heart Language".
There is Chinese old proverb saying: “You should keep one eye open and keep one eye closed after getting married”. Yes, that is true love and let’s not wait until getting married but after you or she reveal a “true you” or “true her” to each other and you both can still “keep one eye open and keep one eye closed” then we can say the heart language is efficient.

My ex wont let me speak to her in mandarin even though we are both fluent, only english (which we are also both fluent in) . Yet she can blabber on all day with her mates in mandarin or english.

[quote=“Monday”]Did you ever tell her what you really want in your heart?? A mother ever told her daughter : “I bring you to the world and I have been living with you more than 30 years, but I never knew what you think, what you are going to do next or even how you feel cause you never revealed your true feelings or thinking to me.”
You probably notice from the Taiwan TV news these days - A guy who used to be gentle and tender to his families killing his own parents and also make his wife and very young children seriously wounded. If even parents unable to know what their children are thinking, who can?? I think that is what your friend mean " Heart Language".
There is Chinese old proverb saying: “You should keep one eye open and keep one eye closed after getting married”. Yes, that is true love and let’s not wait until getting married but after you or she reveal a “true you” or “true her” to each other and you both can still “keep one eye open and keep one eye closed” then we can say the heart language is efficient.[/quote]

I appreciate your comments. However, I personally found that when someone is very open (eg telling a woman what you want in your heart) is the fastest way to scare them off, and/or make you appear to be a beta male who has to discuss his feelings)

Nothing seems to scare a female off faster than a beta male who talks about feelings. She woudl rather be with the biker dude :sunglasses:

I thought duck farms were the language of the heart…

:laughing: :smiley:

I’ll probably end up on a duck farm before long too

[quote=“dan2006”]
Nothing seems to scare a female off faster than a beta male who talks about feelings. She woudl rather be with the biker dude :sunglasses:[/quote]
Unless he’s consistently tardy about clipping his toenails and has the habit of farting in bed. :blush:

[quote=“sandman”][quote=“dan2006”]
Nothing seems to scare a female off faster than a beta male who talks about feelings. She woudl rather be with the biker dude :sunglasses:[/quote]
Unless he’s consistently tardy about clipping his toenails and has the habit of farting in bed. :blush:[/quote]

Especially when I pull the covers over her head afterward. No female can resist :lick: