Would you leave your SO in order to move to a new place?
Yes.
No.
Only if I was unhappy with them.
Only if it was for a REALLY good job.
0voters
I was just wondering if anybody here has left their SO to live far away just to take some other opportunity. And when I say leave I mean you would be breaking up with them, to take a job in another country or state or city or whatever.
I just recently started dating a girl and I was originally planning on moving to Taiwan this summer. I know I won’t do that at this point, but the idea has crossed my mind. I think right now I like her way to much to leave her just to explore Taiwan. She is actually Taiwanese but she needs to stay here for school and work for 2 or 3 years. I was originally hoping to get to Taiwan before that and I know she isn’t the type who wants to have a separated long distance relationship or anything, I dont think I’d like that either.
I guess I already know my answer, I’ll stay with her as long as every things going well (and I hope that continues) but I was just wondering if any of you had a similar thing happen?
I was originally going to move to Taiwan this year, then i met a girl from the mainland for a language exchange here, so now my travel plans have been cut short
I was originally going to move to Taiwan this year, then i met a girl from the mainland for a language exchange here, so now my travel plans have been cut short [/quote]
I would guess she is not interested in Taiwan? At least you will learn more Chinese (if you want to that is) in the mean time.
Wow. My wife (my new wife, yes that one) knows that I cannot stay in Taiwan long term. We will need to leave at some point and she will either follow me or we will have some time apart. I have a good job so I suspect she will just down tools and start baby making. I have left plenty of girlfriends to move country and job, its no biggy. Plenty more fish and all that.
Definitely leave her and come to Asia. Don’t even hesitate. You said you just recently started dating her. There are billions of women in the world, a few million of whom you would probably be perfectly happy with. This new woman may not even be as great as you think – apparently you barely know her. But the opportunity to move to the other side of hte world and live in a foreign land is an incredible experience that will change you completely, broaden your horizons, expose you to all sorts of completely new and intriguing opportunities in your education, career and life – including an endless stream of beautiful women. Losers stay home and wonder if they should venture out. Winners just do it, even if it means leaving behind an easy, comfortable lifestyle and the familiarity of friends and family (and new girlfriends one just recently met).
It depends on how you define yourself. Ten years ago, I was an island, defined somewhat by work and friends, but basically independent. I could have packed up and gone anywhere, leaving scarcely a ripple in my wake. Five years ago, that began to change as my relationship with my girlfriend deepened. Now she’s my wife, and I could no more leave her and my daughter than I could leave my skin. Wherever they are, that’s home.
You need to look at your relationship closely. If you have something that you think or hope will grow into something deeper, stick with her. True love should not be treated in a cavalier way.
On the other hand, if you’re just dating, having a nice time, but she isn’t shaking the foundations of your universe, then buy your plane tickets and stick to your itinerary.
[quote=“Maoman”]It depends on how you define yourself. Ten years ago, I was an island, defined somewhat by work and friends, but basically independent. I could have packed up and gone anywhere, leaving scarcely a ripple in my wake. Five years ago, that began to change as my relationship with my girlfriend deepened. Now she’s my wife, and I could no more leave her and my daughter than I could leave my skin. Wherever they are, that’s home.
You need to look at your relationship closely. If you have something that you think or hope will grow into something deeper, stick with her. True love should not be treated in a cavalier way.
On the other hand, if you’re just dating, having a nice time, but she isn’t shaking the foundations of your universe, then buy your plane tickets and stick to your itinerary.[/quote]
I see your point. Actually I am not all that independant by nature. I can’t stand being single, but I also feel I have to be very serious with every gf I have. Its kind of a crappy feeling because, like you said, I just met her, but I’d feel really rotten for leaving if theres nothing going wrong and we’re having fun and all…
I’ve been thinking about moving to taiwan for like 2 or 3 years now it seems, researching, reading about the politics, practicing a little chinese… I know I wont be totally culture shocked (I did visit once too) but I know my non-independant nature will make things stressful at first, but part of the plan was to force myself to adapt and all that. I usually do pretty well in ‘scarey’ situations when I force myself into them.
[quote=“Mother Theresa”]Have you ever lived outside of hte US?
If not, then it’s time you tried it.
There are other women here. You’ll forget her soon enough.[/quote]
I’m just out of college here in the US so nope- never lived abroad. Also I sadly have come to see that true love isnt what you think it is as a kid. There are tons of people you can get along with, you just want to find the best one. I guess theres no point staying with one person a long time if you are having a lot of differences. But still I think its good to give it a try, dont give up at every little bump in the relationship road.
I still want to save up a few thousand bucks before i take the leap so I have plenty of time to think about the future.
there’s the chick in there who waits for her man to go off to find his dream… well actually there are two chicks, both wait with the great line of “a woman’s job is to wait for her man…”
basically like you say, youve just finished college, you have a certain amount of now or never, sure give it a year, maybe even two, but seriously consider this first, if you think your SO is your soul mate, your reason to be, then there’s no point leaving her to go to another country, since you wont enjoy it - thats when youre stuck and you realiset hat travel is nothing unless youre sharing it that SO
However, if you dont feel this way, or it scares you to think like that, then I really think you should just get a one way ticket (and preferably a visa) come here and just live life - (hey if you do it quickly she’ll be in shock for the first 3 months so if you realise youve fucked up you can always go home with your tail between your legs =)
there’s the chick in there who waits for her man to go off to find his dream… well actually there are two chicks, both wait with the great line of “a woman’s job is to wait for her man…”
basically like you say, youve just finished college, you have a certain amount of now or never, sure give it a year, maybe even two, but seriously consider this first, if you think your SO is your soul mate, your reason to be, then there’s no point leaving her to go to another country, since you wont enjoy it - thats when youre stuck and you realiset hat travel is nothing unless youre sharing it that SO
However, if you dont feel this way, or it scares you to think like that, then I really think you should just get a one way ticket (and preferably a visa) come here and just live life - (hey if you do it quickly she’ll be in shock for the first 3 months so if you realise youve fucked up you can always go home with your tail between your legs =)[/quote]
Haha - I wonder how forgiving she would be - I’m pretty sure my ex would kick me in the teeth, haha.
Think about it this way - putting all feelings aside - can you see the future together with your GF having the potential to enrich both of your lifes, as a couple and as individuals, beyond what you ever thought possible? Remember, I am not talking about feelings here; but just looking at the bare facts. It’s simple math: 1+1=3. If you honestly cannot answer 100% yes, then you either do not know yourself and what you want from life well enough - or - you haven’t found the right woman yet.
Don’t hesitate, do what you have to do to make your life truly great!
DO NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR ANYONE ELSE. I put off going to another country for someone I’d just started dating. My thinking was, “well, Mexico will still be there six months from now. I guess I’ll give this a shot.” Well, we ended up married 7 years ago, and now we’re divorcing. If you get to Taiwan, see all the other women and have all the great adventures, and still want your current girl, you’ll know where to find her, right? But you’re young. You need to live a little. Anyway, living in Taiwan will give you an understand of your current girl’s culture and values. I’ve seen way too many guys follow a girl to Taiwan just for their relationship, which was great in the States or wherever, to fall appart in Taiwan.
Exactly Right On, I am dating but the girls know I am leaving. So I just am making sure that I don’t get too serious with anyone and I let them know I am leaving for Taiwan soon. I am just dating for fun besides I have commitment issues and sometimes like multiple girlfriends. I am going to try to stop this in Taiwan cause I have been told the girls are different and I don’t know if a lot of them understand casual dating. Except the bar sluts but that ain’t my bag baby.
Currently, with 26 votes, 93% of polled Forumosans say that they would put their travel and life goals over their relationship. Actually I was pretty surprised at that percentage. I guess its reasonable though, I have seen what happens when you focus your life on someone else, neither of you grow in the direction you really want, well in some cases at least.
I’ll have to give this all close consideration, I think its true if I stay here I wont be growing at all, I will just be working everyday for money and doing the same boring things on my free time that I’ve done my whole life. Changing where I’m living, even if it was inside the US would probably get me out of that rut of comfortable surroundings. But since I’m interested in Taiwan, I’d like to try things there!
Its hardly a realistic poll of what most people put, it was conducted by adventurous travellers who came to Taiwan!
That said, I have to agree with them, I think the experience will enrich your life for the better, and you will find great women in Taiwan that make your legs go to jelly!