I have so many things on my mind at the moment. I hope someone can give me some help. Here are my questions:
My husband purchased an apartment after we got married under his name and his name only. I am the foreign spouse without a Taiwan ID card, just an ARC via joining family visa. Is it possible to add my name onto the property?
Perhaps this is too much information, but I have found a picture (soft copy) with my husband ‘caught in the act’. However, his face was purposely blurred out, but I can tell it is him from his body and his hands(very clear). When I click on properties, the date tells me that this incident happened after we got married. Does the date go by the date the picture was taken and if yes, what if the date on the camera wasn’t set up properly. What I’m saying is how can I use this picture as proof of him having committed adultery? Or is it not solid proof at all in the eyes of the court.
We have a child, how does the court decide who gets custody? I am a stay at home mom and have no means to raise the child financially now, but I am not the one who committed adultery and should not be punished. Does the court frown upon this act or do they seem to just let it go as it happens all the time with taiwanese men.
If you could give me any suggestions as to what I should do , please write to me. I would like our child to grow up with both parents around. At the present moment I am undecided as to whether or not I should leave the marriage or stay. I have yet to confront him. I think his reaction to this matter will be the deciding factor.
I would like to forgive and forget, but I will be asking for more security within our marriage, hence the name added to the property.
Depending on the source of the date, the editing software, or various other factors, it could be one of the following:
The date the picture was taken
The date the picture was edited to blur out the face
The date the picture was copied onto the computer from another source
Or some other date
I would advise a serious discussion about the matter with your husband to determine what happened and when and what is his continuing commitment to the marriage before making any further decisions.
I would seriously advise that you speak to an attorney and know all of your rights before talking to your husband in case is reaction is not what you hoped. This is also the time when you can go digging for more information and evidence of infidelity and also begin making efforts to protect you interests. Do you really know all about your husband’s finances? If you husband makes significant amounts of money, esp. if he is in business for himself, perhaps you’ll want to hire a forensic accountant.
Of course how you’ll pay attorney and account fees without your husband knowing is another matter.
One thing you can do for free, which will help if things don’t work out is to make copies of any bank and investment account records. Mail or give them to a trusted friend. Print out current statements from on-line accounts. Tax records are especially helpful, but if you husband makes a lot of money under the table, you’ll want to copy any records he may keep to records that info, if you have access to it.
Once you confront your husband, he may start covering his ass in anticipation of any action you might take or in preparation for leaving you. If he has been cheating on your, he is more likely to be clear-headed in the process than you are. If you can afford it, a consultation with an attorney will help keep you from compromising your interests and those of your child(ren).
None of this means that you won’t be able to work things out with your husband; I hope you do and I hope he’s worth it, but there is nothing wrong with confronting him after placing yourself on solid ground.
Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate any help I can get as I do not have anyone to turn to. After 24 hours I have found more evidence of his misconduct. Please give me your opinions.
Today I found one of his passbooks and made a couple of copies. I had no idea we had this much financial stability. I have to say that we live a comfortable life, but in no way did I ever think we had this much financial freedom. He definitely has more properties than he’s cared to mention and so I’ve made copies and will be sending them away for safekeeping. How can I protect my child so that in case of a divorce my child will be entitled to his father’s properties?
I have found further infidelity evidence via credit card bills. However on the statement it will say motel or hotel, this could be a legitimate stay as he needs to travel for work sometimes. I must add that the dates say that the payment was made mostly on Saturdays or Sundays. I highly doubt that work is carried through on a weekend each and every time. This one time he went to Germany it said ROMANTIK on it. Is this also concrete proof?
3.See, he has been out of town the past few days and will be returning tomorrow night. Should I confront him then orwait until I know where I stand in the eyes of the court.
Do you think having extramarital affairs makes a difference if there are feelings involved? Does it make it any better if I know he’s not in love with someone else?
Right now I just want to know what to do that is best for our child. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my baby.
Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. I need to stay focused.
You need to see an attorney regarding you and your child’s rights to the property, child support, and spousal support.
An attorney will be able to explain Taiwanese grounds for divorce and evidentiary standards to you.
I would see an attorney if I were you. You need to know not only your rights but also how your actions can affect the grounds for divorce. In some U.S. jurisdictions that maintain fault-based divorce systems, having consensual sex with your husband after confronting him with adultery might be construed as forgiveness and negate adultery as grounds for divorce, at least for those discovered instances that occurred prior to your making up. I haven’t the faintest idea if this is the case in Taiwan. I only bring it up because it is an example of how not knowing the law could lead to your compromising your rights.
Only you can answer that. The world takes all kinds; folks run the gamut on these issues, from sex only when married to someone of the opposite sex and only for procreation, to bisexual polyamourists with “open” relationships. What Taiwan law recognizes and doesn’t and how the law defines and views infidelity, I have no idea. You should see an attorney.
One of the best things you can do is to see an attorney, know your rights, and take time to think things through. Regardless of what you decide, get on the web and search for sites discussing the affect that divorce has on children. Try to minimize the impact by not fighting in front of the kid(s), demonizing their father to them (even if that is how you see him), and don’t make them take sides, play the part of the messenger, or otherwise suck them into petty mind games.
Yes. However, there will likely be levied some kind of transfer tax on the (partial) transfer.
Generally it is very difficult to prove adultery in taiwan. You will need to prove that it is indeed your husband and that indeed the act took place after you were married and that indeed penetration occurred. No simple task. Unless he admits to all of this to the court.
Taiwan uses the “best interest of the child” standard. The funny thing is what is considered sometimes to be in the best interest of the child. In my admittedly limited experience, the taiwanese courts often seem, IMO, to favor the Taiwanese spouse/parent.
Adutery is one of the offenses upon which the innocent spouse can apply for a statutory divorce. Adultery is still a crime under Taiwan law.
Nobody can make any suggestion until you decide what you think you want to do.
If you can forgive, you shouldn’t forget… and thus you should seek additional security.
Isn’t it that all that was owned before the marriage is personal property and everything that was bought after the marriage belongs to both, except if there was a prenupcial made up and signed that states the opposite …
Marital property is rather confusing (at least to me) here in Taiwan. If I remember correctly, couples may choose one of three different property regimes for property dispositions.
Thank you all for your advice and help. I have confronted him and he has denied having any extra-marital affairs. He says the guy in the photograph is not him and that he is not afraid to get the blurred part of the picture reversed to see who the guy really is. He even said he has some marks on his body and has asked me to enlarge the photo to see if it is him. I haven’t done so yet. Now this makes me feel really stupid. Ok so maybe the guy in the photo isn’t him. Perhaps I failed to mention that the laptop I’m using isn’t ours. He got it from his office and it belonged to his boss before they passed it onto him. He started to work for his company in 2005 and the suspcious pictures have dates that have 2004 in the properites menu.
As for the bills, he claims that he travels for work, and sometimes on weekends. He said that if he were to have an affair, he wouldn’t leave the bills around.
At any rate we will have to rebuild our trust for each other again.
When you say ‘choose’ what exactly do you mean? Is the choice made before marriage or when the couple files for divorce. We do not have a prenup agreement. Does this mean I am still entitled to 50% of the properties that he purchased after the marriage?
What about the income which he receives from his commercial properties? Although these properties were purchased before we got married, would the rental income be considered part of his income now and be counted as ‘our’ money now. Meaning would I be entitled to claim for this amount if anything were to happen?
I hope everything works out, but I think that it is important in any relationship that both parties are aware of the family’s entire financial situation and discuss it regularly. Even in the most perfect relationship, tragedy could strike and one partner could die, the other should know about all accounts and know where to find the account info and contacts and have basic financial aptitude to make manage the finances.