What are your experiences with long distance relationships?
I recently started a relationship with a wonderful girl who lives in Taipei, Taiwan. I live in New York City. She seems to want to carry this on, as I do I. But I can’t help but feel so vulnerable, scared, afraid that this will tank.
Any advice? Have any experiences to share?
My wife of 16+ years and I had a 4 year long distance relationship prior to getting hitched. I was in Pittsburgh most of those years and she was in Taiwan most of those years.
Difficult. But, it can be done.
Hey ShrimpCrackers, I feel for you. You might want to check out this recent Forumosa discussion (especially pages 3 and 4), in which I and many others wrote on a similar topic.
All the best.
4 years of which 2 where long distance. 
See Tigerman for advise
Hi SchrimpCrackers,
It can be done mate!
Where there is a will, there is a way. Cliche? Perhaps, but don’t let that put you off. Go for it!
I wish you and your girl the best.
I met my Taiwanese girlfriend in London, she worked at my company for six months in a work placement scheme. I had already decided to quit my job and travel around Australia. So we only had a couple of months together before she came here and I buggered off to Oz.
I have to say that we saw each other every four or five months, which was very good in terms of bonding our relationship. Yes, it cost us a lot of money, phone calls (no Skype back then), visas, tickets etc. But there is no one I’d rather be with. Eventually, when my holiday visa in Oz expired I came here. We just had to be together.
We were both very nervous at the beginning but it has turned out very well. We have been together for three and a half years now. I’d say “Go for it.” if you are considering a long distance relationship. You never know what’ll happen.
Limey
I echo the above statements: It can be done, it is not easy by any means, but it can be done.
My fiance and I have known each other a long time. From 2000-2002 we both lived in Colorado (she lived in Denver and I lived in Fort Collins, about an hour apart) and spent every weekend together. That really helped us grow our relationship. Since 2002 we’ve not seen each other that often in person (as I’m in Idaho now and she’s back in Taiwan). That said, we’ve always been honest with each other and both of us wanted it to work and have done what it takes for it to work (e.g. a LOT of patience).
Now 2005, I’m almost about to graduate from university and we will marry right after that in May 2006. After that i’ll go back with her to Taiwan, from there I’m not sure what our future will hold exactly but I’ll be so happy to finally be with her, ready to plan a bright future for both of us.
Whatever you decide, just be honest about it, especially to yourself. Have patience as well, it won’t always be easy, but life is never easy. I like the saying “The journey of a thousand miles always begins with one step.” If you feel she’s a good person and the type that you would like to date, I say go for it, best of luck in whatever you chose.
I’m gonna be a bitch and speak on the other side.
Last long distance relationship I had I took a trip to suprise him. Found he had a girl at home who looked pretty much exactly like me.
Proceed with caution. You have no way to make sure she is being true. If you trust her already, go for it. But if you don’t, be careful.
Yeah, it’s possible that it will work out however unlikely.
GOOD NEWS!
You’re the guy and she’s the girl!
Which means your chance of success here is MUCH higher than the other way around. Unless you’ve picked one of the few rotten apple girls who doesn’t mind lying through her teeth to have some fun, she’ll probably stay true to you during this time. As long as you do things to keep the flame going for you (frequent phone calls, surprise letters) and try and keep plans going for the next time you meet so she has something to look forward to… you have a very good shot.
If the reverse were true-- you were the girl and he’s the guy-- I’d be much more pessimistic. Chances of the guy cheating or moving on are at least 25% higher.