Summary: my friend was dating the girl when she was in the Netherlands. After she got back to Taiwan she told him she was pregnant, broke up with him and remarried her Taiwanese ex-husband. my friend moved to Taiwan because he wants to see his kid, but so far she refuses to see him. He is working on a law suit to have her do a DNA test to prove the kid is his, but so far no success…He is now waiting for the case to go to the supreme court. Because she was married when she got the baby the taiwanese guy is the legal father. This is why the law doesn’t allow him to see his daughter because he is seen as a 3rd party, even though he is the biological father. Right now the kid is already 2 years old and he hasn’t even seen a picture of her… I was just wondering if anyone has any advice for him…any help would be greatly appreciated thanks!!!
What kind of sane advice do you expect to get from a second-hand story posted with a couple of Taiwanese newspaper articles? :loco:
A poster called pgdaddy is in a slightly similar position, except he was actually married to the mother of his kid. Still hasn’t been allowed to see him despite court orders, etc. in his favour. And he got royally ripped off by lawyers into the bargain.
Based on that, it sounds like your friend’s chances of seeing the child he claims is his are a bit less than bugger-all, while the chances of him being cleaned out by his lawyer are fair-to-middling.
[quote=“micb”]
Summary: my friend was dating the girl when she was in the Netherlands. After she got back to Taiwan she told him she was pregnant, broke up with him and remarried her Taiwanese ex-husband. [/quote]
The newspaper reports paint this as an extra-marital affair. Was the girl actually divorced at the time?
Your friend is almost certain to lose this lawsuit, and waste vast amounts of money in the process. Sorry.
[quote=“spaint”][quote=“micb”]
Summary: my friend was dating the girl when she was in the Netherlands. After she got back to Taiwan she told him she was pregnant, broke up with him and remarried her Taiwanese ex-husband. [/quote]
The newspaper reports paint this as an extra-marital affair. Was the girl actually divorced at the time?
Your friend is almost certain to lose this lawsuit, and waste vast amounts of money in the process. Sorry.[/quote]
yeah the media is wrong at this point. she was divorced when she was in the Netherlands, and got remarried soon after she got back to Taiwan. Don’t really think this makes any difference though… :s
Advice? Sure. Get a lawyer. This isn’t going to be cheap or easy. [/quote]
I love the way that people give the advice “get a lawyer” so casually without any regard to what that actually means in Taiwan. What hiring a lawyer does mean is the loss of a lot of money and ending up feeling even more embittered and angry.
The only way that the mother is ever going to let the father see the child is because SHE DECIDES TO. Starting legal action against the mother will only make her more angry and reluctant to let the child see the father. The father’s best bet is just to be nice to her, pay her some maintenance and offer to pay some more to give the child a good education. Maybe in time she will soften. Maybe not. In which case the father has to accept that he just doesn’t have any control over the situation, get on with his own life and if it is meant to be, his daughter will come and find him one day. It sounds tough, but that’s the way it is when you get into a failed relationship with a Taiwanese woman. The sad thing is, it’s the child that suffers the most.
Advice? Sure. Get a lawyer. This isn’t going to be cheap or easy. [/quote]
I love the way that people give the advice “get a lawyer” so casually without any regard to what that actually means in Taiwan. What hiring a lawyer does mean is the loss of a lot of money and ending up feeling even more embittered and angry.[/quote]
Well reefdiver, everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but my suggestion wasn’t casual at all. I’ve been in Taiwan since the late 80s and have been on Forumosa since 1999, and while I’ve never personally been in a legal situation like this, I’ve known enough who have that my suggestions should not be so quickly dismissed.
To be sure, a lot of people don’t know what kind of lawyer they should hire, and they’re unhappy with the results. Imagine an immigrant fighting a custody battle in the US with someone who has better resources and familiarity with the process. Your average Lin Wah-chung, using a lawyer with an office above a Chinatown dry cleaners isn’t going to do well. Getting the right kind of legal representation would make all the difference and it’s no different here. Getting a lawyer is certainly better than just giving up. Remember we’re talking about one’s own children, not something comparatively trivial like an employer’s breach of contract or a dispute between neighbors.
Advice? Sure. Get a lawyer. This isn’t going to be cheap or easy. [/quote]
I love the way that people give the advice “get a lawyer” so casually without any regard to what that actually means in Taiwan. What hiring a lawyer does mean is the loss of a lot of money and ending up feeling even more embittered and angry.[/quote]
Well reefdiver, everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but my suggestion wasn’t casual at all. I’ve been in Taiwan since the late 80s and have been on Forumosa since 1999, and while I’ve never personally been in a legal situation like this, I’ve known enough who have that my suggestions should not be so quickly dismissed.
To be sure, a lot of people don’t know what kind of lawyer they should hire, and they’re unhappy with the results. Imagine an immigrant fighting a custody battle in the US with someone who has better resources and familiarity with the process. Your average Lin Wah-chung, using a lawyer with an office above a Chinatown dry cleaners isn’t going to do well. Getting the right kind of legal representation would make all the difference and it’s no different here. Getting a lawyer is certainly better than just giving up. Remember we’re talking about one’s own children, not something comparatively trivial like an employer’s breach of contract or a dispute between neighbors.[/quote]
I appreciate your longevity in Taiwan and experience Maoman, perhaps your advice to use a lawyer wasn’t casual but it seems like several other posters do make the same comment here very casually.
To get down to the nitty gritty, what exactly do you think the outcome would be if the father does hire a lawyer ? What are his chances of even getting a court visitation order given that he is not even registered as the legal father (e.g. on the household register) ? Do you know that even if he could get such an order, it would take up to a year from when legal action is first taken to when enforcement is ordered- and that enforcement will probably not take place anyway due to the weakness of the courts and/or police ? And subsequently, enforcement would need to be applied for every time the mother denies the father visitation- a couple of months at least for each procedure.
Net result is that the father ends up still not being able to see his child, and now less likely to do so because the legal action has angered the mother, 1 million NT+ poorer, embittered and angry against the Taiwanese lawyers who ripped him off, and maybe embittered in general against the Taiwanese people. Which will not help at all for the future because his child is half-Taiwanese and the mother of his son is Taiwanese.
Knowing all this, would you still stand by your advice to “get a lawyer” ? In your many years of living in Taiwan, have you actually know any foreigner who has successfully enforced the right to see their child through the courts ?
I know two personally who have. One has VERY STRICTLY enforced visitation rights, the other has sole custody. I know of one (second-hand, only through Forumosa) who hasn’t. And I also know of one through Forumosa who has sole custody. :shrug:
My advice would be to forget it. Just forget about the child for a few years, and then return at a later date, once the child is a bit bigger and see if the child might be interested in contact.
He had some fun, knocked up a chick and then she went back after her extramarital fling or whatever you will call it.
Wasting money on lawyers, too bad.
it reminds me a little about the story with the rich US guy and the Taiwanese prostitute, where the US guy had custody awarded in the us and thus a stronger case.
[quote=“Mr He”]My advice would be to forget it. Just forget about the child for a few years, and then return at a later date, once the child is a bit bigger and see if the child might be interested in contact.
He had some fun, knocked up a chick and then she went back after her extramarital fling or whatever you will call it.
Wasting money on lawyers, too bad.
it reminds me a little about the story with the rich US guy and the Taiwanese prostitute, where the US guy had custody awarded in the us and thus a stronger case.
I guess beware dating Taiwanese girls abroad because so many of them will return to the motherland (with or without you).
MY two cents is that he doesnt have much of a chance. Be best to keep in touch and in time perhaps an opportunity will open up. The child may want to seek out her father. It has happened often. I think of someone I know who has a foreign father who went to great effort to track down her dad only to be rejected. So this girl is lucky.
Yes, because I DO know of people (including Forumosans) who have successfully gotten full custody of their kids here. I’m old school, but I’d put my faith in a professional before I’d give up and resign myself to placing all hope of seeing my kid in my ex-wife’s hands.
