Love and Adultery with a boss

I’m a dual citizen living in TW now for two years and my boss (from my second job) has fallen for me, mind you is married. I got to know him and then fell for him too. His wife has already been suspicious before I’ve even met him or started working.

I’m really worried if she may have evidence or hire a lawyer. I of course don’t want to end up in prison. Please tell me what the possible outcomes may be for me? I’m so caught up in a whirlwhind and have no idea what to do. He’s been having problems with his wife (married twenty years with two grown children, both over 18 years of age).

Please help.

Then don’t have sex with him.

Don’t mess with him at all, not even flirting, until he’s divorced. Period. Otherwise, YOU are fucking with a married man, stabbing his wife in the back and helping to end his marriage.

Oh, and don’t believe what he tells you. Men lie all the time to get some lovin’ especially if they’re not getting it at home. Don’t believe him.

Why don’t you go find a nice single guy instead (no, not me, I’m not single). Surely there must be lots of nice eligible guys (unlike your boss).

He’s a serial cheater. She was suspicious before you came on the scene, because he gave her reason to be suspicious before you met. He’s sleeping around - you just happen to be the next in line. There will be more after you. There is fair probability he is still involved with one or more of his previous mistresses.

Remove him entirely from your life. It’s only sex, and heaven knows there is plenty of that around for the asking.

I’m totally with everyone for telling the OP to move on. Never quite got the point of being with a married man. If his wife can’t trust him, why should you?

But she’s asking if she needs to fear things from a legal perspective? Does she? I think not, but I am open to correction.

She does.
Adultery is against the law here.

Is this true, that both the OP and cheating husband could be jailed?
[forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopic.ph … 81#p373481](Adultery and divorce

[quote]The penalty used to be up to one year’s imprisonment and both parties to the affair can/could be prosecuted.

If the sentence was less than six months then one could have the sentence converted into a fine.

Foreigners have been convicted of adultery in Taiwan.[/quote]

[quote=“freethinker”]I’m totally with everyone for telling the OP to move on. Never quite got the point of being with a married man. If his wife can’t trust him, why should you?

But she’s asking if she needs to fear things from a legal perspective? Does she? I think not, but I am open to correction.[/quote]

In order for the police to get involved they will need/demand photographic evidence of an active physical relationship, i.e. a ‘sex tape.’ Or they will need to catch the offending couple in the act. Possible, but unlikely.

But the OP has to worry about another scenario. If the wife learns of the affair, she can blackmail the husband into turning on his mistress. Then OP is really up sh*t creek. With the husband’s consent/cooperation, the wife can probably get the mistress in jail, not to mention tied up in court, etc. etc.

Definitely not worth a shag, no matter how you slice it.

How often is this followed through with, though? Anyone have figures on people jailed for cheating husbands or wives?

Not a personal concern of mine. I’ve been with the same guy for years and wholeheartedly believe in monogamy or at least sorting out your terms before.

But incarceration for lack of monogamy strikes me as a bit nasty.

[quote=“freethinker”]

But incarceration for lack of monogamy strikes me as a bit nasty
.[/quote]
And infidelity doesn’t?

She seems to know him better than you do.

“Did you do it for love?
Did you do it for money?
Did you do it for spite?
Did you think you had to, honey?
Who is gonna make it?
We’ll find out in the long run”
:cactus:

You’ve heard the term ‘Psycho Xiaojie.’

Try this one on for size: ‘Psycho wife of 20 years, who bore and raised your two children.’

The species are really quite similar.

Well now, who’s standing up for the poor guy here. Married for 20 years to a gal who frankly doesn’t have the figure she used to and won’t give him his jollys any more. Its culturally acceptable to have a mistress so why shouldn’t he, even the politicians do it!

As for the OP, she says she has fallen for this guy and him for her, my suggestion is that he get divorced quick smart and marry his new love before any real harm is done.

:whistle:

[quote=“Edgar Allen”]Well now, who’s standing up for the poor guy here. Married for 20 years to a gal who frankly doesn’t have the figure she used to and won’t give him his jollys any more. Its culturally acceptable to have a mistress so why shouldn’t he, even the politicians do it!

As for the OP, she says she has fallen for this guy and him for her, my suggestion is that he get divorced quick smart and marry his new love before any real harm is done.

:whistle:[/quote]
Right. It’s just that simple. :bravo:

[quote=“Edgar Allen”]Well now, who’s standing up for the poor guy here. Married for 20 years to a gal who frankly doesn’t have the figure she used to and won’t give him his jollys any more. Its culturally acceptable to have a mistress so why shouldn’t he, even the politicians do it!

As for the OP, she says she has fallen for this guy and him for her, my suggestion is that he get divorced quick smart and marry his new love before any real harm is done.

:whistle:[/quote]
mmm tell me you’re kidding, if not, I’ll rip your post apart, sentence by sentence :laughing:

I think the OP should think about more than just the possible legal ramifications of threatening a woman’s marriage and the children’s relationship with their father. One can put oneself in physical or even mortal peril by messing with a person’s SO (OJ Simpson, anyone?), and then of course there’s public scandal, damage to one’s reputation, and moral peril – whatever outcomes based on the religion of your choice await you, like eternal damnation, being reincarnated as a cockroach, and that kinda groovy stuff.

I agree with the first couple respondents here – a man that will cheat on his wife is not necessarily going to be a man who will be faithful to you (and in fact is unlikely to be faithful to you), so I would suggest breaking it off and going to find someone more worthy of a relationship. Besides, a whole lifetime as a cockroach would really suck.

[quote=“hardball”][quote=“freethinker”]

But incarceration for lack of monogamy strikes me as a bit nasty
.[/quote]
And infidelity doesn’t?

Not having ever lied to a lover, I can say without a doubt that infidelity pisses me off. I’m a one guy at a time kind of guy. Incarceration still really seems pretty harsh. We all get hurt and have to learn whom we can trust. Make the laws so that wives or husbands cheated upon can get everything they want from their ex-spouses, but avoid imprisoning people.

We all need to have some form of judgement when choosing our lovers, and if we don’t, we get burnt.

I’ve never cheated on my man and don’t plan on and am pissed off with idoits wandering around telling themselves it was a once off or doesn’t matter. Cheating is despicable.

I suspect though - and I could be totally wrong here - that anyone getting too worked up about infidelity, has been there before. I’d prefer repsonses from people who - like myself - have never cheated on their partners.

? I’m not sure I understand that logic. If we inserted another offense in place of the word ‘infidelity’, such as rape, murder, child abuse or genocide, would the logic still hold? (Edit: obviously, these are different orders of magnitude and all that, and I don’t mean to actually compare infidelity to them, but I’m just talking about the logic and trying it out on other items. Some feel very strongly about certain moral requirements, such as faithfulness and commitment. I don’t understand whether you’re trying to cast aspersions on such feelings, or if so, why you would do so, especially since you yourself seem to be siding with the urge to be faithful. Perhaps you could clarify?)

Don’t fish off the company pier…rule one in TW. If you are laowai and you work with a local there is a 85% chance you are the most interesting person they have ever met. DO NOT abuse this situation, find love online or at a bar, keep the work place sex free.

Deuce’s advice.

That’s not fair. If the OP is looking for advice on Taiwanese legal issues, it seems the answer was made clear within the first few posts. There are legal consequences for having an affair. But if the OP is looking for general advice on life…I don’t think Forumosans have any special insights, at least not more than anybody else. The op should go to Ann Landers for that.

How can legality and morality be far apart??? isn’t Law based on the morals (and/or religious tenets) of society. Itis illegal and immoral to swindle a business partner and so is it immoral and illegal to cheat your life partner.

This was posted in general legal affairs, not in dating and relationships. There may or may not be shades of gray of which we are not aware. Speculation to the morality or logistics of the affair is off-topic. If the OP were looking for relationship advice she would have posted in the appropriate forum, I’m sure. In the meantime, feel free to say what you will, but your comments will most likely be temped if they’re not relevant.