Love, Security, Adventure - Which one is most important?

Which of these three comes first for you?

  • Love
  • Security
  • Adventure

0 voters

Ok, here’s a poll. Loosely based on (my) reality of the moment, but I think it is an interesting question and want to read other’s thoughts on the general question of which value or thing is most important to you.

Here’s the skinny if details help you decide on how to vote…

Live in Taipei. Make enough money that I can save about 40000NT per month. Plan to leave within the next year or two, hope to save at least half a million NT before I do.

In the best relationship I’ve ever had.

Likely job offer in another country. Salary is lower, country less inspiring (if you can believe it). Would have to go alone, for now. However, the job is a DREAM job and one I’ve wanted my whole life. More of a stepping stone to a career as well than the stuff I do here.

So, won’t save as much, will possibly end a very good relationship, and will have to live in a country I doubt I’ll like as much.

But, will dig my job in a way I"ve never known here. Potential to get me into a track I want to be in, and can easily become the “road home” - I can go live in a Western country eventually doing this job.

Your thoughts?

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.

To give you an honest answer, you would have to provide me with more specifics about the job (where, what etc.)

Why do you want a career to make money or make yourself feel better?
But you’re happy already, thus why fix something that ain’t broken?

It seems you got all three here

I love my job (money is not bad either). And I love my husband.

The problem are the 14,000 km between them :frowning:

I’ll choose my husband - next year…

TNT, not sure about you, but i would rather be working in an industry where i really enjoyed my job, even if it meant getting paid slightly less, than earning more in a job i dont like.
Moeny is not everything, quality of life is just as important.

Hi Chewycorns,

I know what you’re saying, and the long explanation of my current situation probably made it out that I want people to vote on what I should do.

I was hoping people would vote strictly on the values aspect, and perhaps read my little story as an example of where those values can sometimes come into conflict.

So, if you want to vote on which of the three values is most important to you (so Cosmo quiz, I know…but it might be fun for some :smiley: ) that would be cool.

Iris! Your story sounds intriguing and a little inspiring. It can be done, huh? I"d only ever really known of Connie Chung and Morley Safer doing it.

The answer for you would depend on your priorities - if you took this job and split up with your SO, would you feel better or worse than if you stayed with your SO knowing you could have had this job? If you’re brutally honest with yourself you’ll know what to do.

I don’t think security really comes into this all that much, since you’ll still be earning money, presumably living costs will be lower, and you’ll have prospects in the future.

There’s nothing you can sing that can’t be sung… :notworthy: :rainbow: :bravo:

[quote=“Traveller”]TNT, not sure about you, but I would rather be working in an industry where I really enjoyed my job, even if it meant getting paid slightly less, than earning more in a job I don’t like.
Moeny is not everything, quality of life is just as important.[/quote]

Agree on that but you should not become a slave to your career either… there must be a happy medium and thats what people look for

Depends on what you want and where you are in your life. I’ll vote, but my vote isn’t going to be applicable to your hopes and circumstances. Are you at a point where you want to settle down, or do you need to develop something to do for the rest of your life, or do you want to save gobs of money and start your own business?

Again, the poll is supposed to be a general thing - maybe I should remove the big personal story part…

But, since you asked: I’m at a point where everything is comfy. But not sure if that’s what I want. Kind of a “is that all there is?” moment.

You know when you’re young and you think everything you want is going to happen? Then you get older and you start realizing some things probably aren’t going to (No rock band has asked me to front them yet…) and so you make adjustments in your ideas etc…

The job; it’s one of those jobs. So, though I’ve been happy, part of me just woke up and said “F*#k man, maybe you can front a rock group”. :laughing: The more I write this, the more I a) realize I’m getting overly personally-detailed online and b) having what is perhaps a very early mid-life crisis.

Oy! Time to buy a toupee and be done with it!


Being a “victim” of similar situation, my advise is “pray sincerely to God, then follow your heart”…

Wrong poll question. The real decision in life is, which of these three is the most important:

a) Money
b) Sex
c) Power

[quote=“mod lang”]Wrong poll question. The real decision in life is, which of these three is the most important:

a) Money
b) Sex
c) Power[/quote]

I’d add “happiness” to any poll. If you ain’t happy with life, everything else is wothless.

I think the only serious options are to stay because of SO, or go because of job. Stay in Taiwan just to make money? That’s fine if nothing else is happening in your life but can’t be a serious option. Not when compared to a dream.

So we’ve narrowed it down to two. Now if your relationship is going to end because you are going away for a job you’ve always wanted then it isn’t a very good relationship. My wife, when she was only my girlfriend, went to Canada to study when we’d only been going out for 4 months. Didn’t matter. I knew I loved her and encouraged her to go do the program she wanted to do. She would be gone for 9 months, but again, this didn’t seem like the end just an inconvenience. Besides, it’s not like I couldn’t get on a plane and visit.

Same with your SO. Why can’t he or she go visit a few times while you’re away? And it doesn’t sound like you’re going to be there forever.

You’ve described the job as a dream job. Of course you should go for it. And anyone SO who would disourage you from pursuing a dream cares more about him or herself than you.

In the last two years my gf and I have spent about 3 months together total, on only three occasions. Damn skippy its rough on those ten month stretches, but you can have your cake and eat it too if you want them both badly enough. You just might have to suffer a bit for it, but the rewards are good enough to cover it.

I think the poll is different in that the choice would be between them for “the rest of your life” type thing, right? Well then, hands down, love it is. Theres always other jobs, other career paths (and don’t forget the lottery) and nothing is ever secure. While you could argue theres always other SO’s, I think you’ll find a job is easier to pick up and dump when you’re done, and they don’t need so much time/money invested in them :smiley:

In rooftop’s case, I voted for Adventure. He mentioned the position in his other country is his DREAM JOB.

Love is not forever. People usually break up. When you do, you’ll regret that you didn’t take your opportunity when you had the chance.

Security is also not forever. There could be a war, an economic crisis, a natural disaster, a death in the family, an illness, all kinds of things we can’t control.

Doing what you love every day, something that excites you and makes you love getting up every morning to look forward to your work for the day, makes life worth living. There will be anxiety and pain from any change, but the long term benefits for your state of mind and health will be well worth it. You mentioned the dream job could lead to a better career track eventually (security). And there are plenty of fish in the sea (love). Good luck, rooftop.

Sounds like a person could be inserted into that as a better fit (no boss!) :wink: !

But its really all about a values thing, isn’t it? If you think your SO is worth it, then you know what to do. If you think the job is worth it, then you know what to do. If you think the job is worth it AND your SO supports you, well then my friend, you’re set.

I have been confronted with this question recently and I chose money out of desperation, but I voted for Adventure if I had the choice. I try to fit adventure into the picture. I often go on fugues of my own – a luxury that money can afford, but that leads to conflict with money. That has to be managed on a daily basis and it becomes a balancing act.

Love was also an option, but I did not let love sustain me. I ruined it in the pursuit of adventure time and time again. I thus feel as though I am not destined to have true love out of karmic consequences begotten from foolish personal choices of the past. Who knows? Maybe some day, when I am older, I will stop pursuing adventure and then the possibility of choosing between love and money will avail itself (or converge?), but for now I am not in that position and now that the ball is moving in one direction, it will be difficult to move it in another. Or worse, trying to change it could lead to my ruin.

Actually, on second thought, I would choose love, but I just am not able to believe I deserve it.