I honestly didn’t know where to post this. I don’t believe we have a “funny/surreal news” thread.
I just can’t imagine a firefighters team trying to dodge the lids of cryogenic cylinders filled with bull semen. I hope they’ll make a movie out of this.
“Timmy, get behind cover!!”
“It’s too late for me lieutenant, go without me, you have a family…”
KABOOM a cryogenic cylinder explodes and the lid hits Timmy
“Ay mate, you’re drenched in bull semen, I’m outta here, cheers…”
A “major blow” they say? Yes, a major blow could certainly cause a massive semen explosion. With strategic semen reserves so low, I may need to head on over and volunteer my services.
That has got to smell so…smelly.
And then there is the resident taiwanese who will be like “Somebody’s cooking taro!?”
Wait, is this a thing? Does cooking taro smell like semen? I always thought semen smelled like chlorinated swimming pools…
I only have a sample size of one, but it doesn’t smell like that.
It smells more like alfalfa sprouts. I don’t like alfalfa sprouts…
I’m sure everyone’s brand smells a bit different.
I’m not sure what’s crazier… saying semen smells like cooking taro or like chlorinated pool water. It just smells a bit salty or like sweaty socks if anything. Some equate it to miso soup.
My mate says it depends on what you’ve been eating. So, if his boyfriend’s been eating garlic it will smell and taste like garlic.
Makes sense, I guess.
If you’re a smoker, drinker, or drink coffee regularly, it has an effect, too.
Vegetarians and vegans supposedly have the least…offensive semen, generally.
I just want to make one thing clear… I don’t eat sweaty socks. 
+1 for swimming pool
With a hint of peach
It’s not an outlandish comparison by any means, based on semen’s chemical makeup.
OK, I did not need to know this. 
“Smegma” would make a great name for a grindcore band though.
I worked with someone that used to interject, “Mmm. Smellls like mushrooooms” into friggin near every situation imaginable. One day he got called out by someone asking wtf he meant. He replied, “Jizz. Jizz smells like mushrooms.” A short conversation ensued in which everyone present gave a different impression of what (their) man jam smelled like.
The winner? Bleach.
Runner up? Smelly socks.
Barf.
Drink pineapple juice more often.
Wash that turtleneck
I think he might be confusing the appearance of the penis with what comes out of it.