Menstrual Madness!

Do you (if you’re female) or your SO (if that person is female) turn into a crazy, out-of-control lunatic when that time of month arrives?

  • Watch out buster, I/she become/s a total crazy bitch once a month.
  • A little grouchy, but not too bad.
  • Some internal discomfort but others wouldn’t notice.
  • No problem at all, either internally or externally.

0 voters

Regretably, my wife falls into the first category. As regularly as others are transformed into werewolves with the monthly moon, my wife becomes an intolerant, impatient, bitchy, crazy mad woman and by far the best thing I can do is get the hell away from her.

I understand that she may feel uncomfortable. I realize she can’t fully control her hormonal madness. But in my mind regularly taking it out on others – viciously abusing them (or me, I should say) – over ones own personal and predictable discomfort is 100% totally inexcusable. I’m an understanding, empathic guy, but I refuse to believe I’d be so abusive towards others if I were a woman and had to endure menstruation.

How about you – do you or your SO become abusive to others? Is there any way to control such regular madness? Are there any Chinese herbal remedies or the like that might soothe her crazy temper? Please help. :pray:

Being the serial cad that I am, I can draw on the experience of three SOs and a first GF for this one.

The first GF was moody and temperamental at the best of times. She became damned near murderous with PMS. I thought it was normal.

SO one was/is a wild creature prone to erratic and dangerous behaviour, totally unpredictable when drunk and prone to the blues. PMs for her is clearly hell. In hindsight, I’d have to say that it had a great deal to do with our parting. I’m not the brightest of sparks and it took me around 5 years to put it together that, oh, that’s right, it’s around that time of the month.

I have a son to this woman and we are fantastically good friends, frequently in contact, though seperated by distance. I can still tell when her period’s on its way, though I am never stupid enough to bring it up. I prefer the head down approach.

SO two, a Taiwanese, was a breathe of fantastically fresh air. A strikingly positive woman that showed no malice to anyone, except on the occasions of perceived poor service (I never understood that, but since it really was her only vice, I’d acquiece). Not even a faint sign that trouble was brewing before Fred arrived or after he left.

Now with SO three, I’m back with the troubled visits. Mercifully they are not quie so bad or violent as other encounters. Mostly she withdraws and if anything becomes indifferent. Freaky when we first started going out together, but as I get to know her more I’m better at dealing with it. She says she was very bad in previous relationships but has learnt to deal with it to some extent.

The answer:

Donning Nurse Ratchett’s starched cap and polishing off my bare foot doctor qualififcations, I can assure you that it is treatable. (Lordy, please, no PMS inspired woman readers come after me for saying that!)

Chinese medicine is your friend here Mother T. Look up liver qi stagnation. The usual formula is Xiao Yao San - Xiao yao from the Zhuangzi and san, powder). One of it’s chief ingredients is dang gui, the very same ingrediant in that dang gui chicken soup you see all those premenstrual woman huddling around slurping at the night markets. The other and possible precursor is disharmony of the spleen - spleen doesn’t produce enough blood, which then doesn’t cool the liver is the usual offender in this instance (this is the Chinese medicine logic and has no reflection to the similarly named western medical concepts of these organs, by the way).

But do remember that formulas are always tailored in the Chinese medicine schema and, of course, there can be other causes. So no, tempting as it might be, don’t go buying it off the shelf and sprinkling it in her tea - it also has a very recognisable flavour.

A mix of accupuncture, exercise (the liver’s job in Chinese medicine is to push the qi around, exercise helps the movement of qi. Stuck qi causes heat, leading to flare ups . . . put simply.), herbs and some understanding and empathy will go a long way to easing this. Mind you, she also has to take some responsibility for her actions in my book. Erh, that’d be the first bit.


HG/Nurse Rathcett and Monglian doctor Huang.


Couple of links:

Light background reading:

Do read this one,
[url=]An Interesting Modification of Xiao Yao San (Rambling Powder) Vis

I don’t get it at all. In fact, I’m not even sure when it’s supposed to happen. However, I have friends who get bad PMS.
It’s partly just an individual thing, but there are things that you can do to take away the bite. Diet is apparently one of the most important things…things like too much meat in a woman’s diet can affect PMS. Also women might crave chocolate at that time to replace magnesium, I think. There must be some book or website you can look at to give diet advice, but I know that’s a biggie.
Also, lack of exercise and general unhappiness/stress in your life can make PMS worse. This is something you could discuss with your wife when she is not in her PMS period and after you’ve done some reading.

Be glad there’s a definite timeframe and reason attached to the madness. We don’t get such clear warnings. For example, you’re out and he realizes that you’re not wearing a bra…the first night you met him it drove him mad with happiness, now suddenly he’s just mad. You kiss a random stranger in a pub…one night he’s happy about it and the next he wants to kill you. Come on! I think Steve was way nicer than Carol! And the worst is when you finally feel like having sex after not being in the mood for months and he want to watch some silly football match. What’s with that?!

Men…it’s just one long endless PMS.

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]But do remember that formulas are always tailored in the Chinese medicine schema and, of course, there can be other causes. So no, tempting as it might be, don’t go buying it off the shelf and sprinkling it in her tea - it also has a very recognisable flavour. [/quote]To expand on what you said, that would mean getting a traditional diagnosis before buying any medicine, right? The Chinese medicine books I read all said that similar physical symptoms could come from quite different causes so it was essential to get a diagnosis from a qualified person. The diagnosis should involve taking the pulses, looking at the tongue and the face, and asking questions.

Damn, you must have an excellent doctor. I usually only get the questions.

Damn, you must have an excellent doctor. I usually only get the questions.[/quote]Have you had the pulse-taking before? It’s interesting. They vary the pressure to take the pulses at three different depths.

Generally, the diagnoses I’ve had here (with national health scheme doctors) have been more perfunctory than the ones that my Chinese doctor in the UK gave.

And there’s the doctor I know who seems to give the same diagnosis to every patient: “You have a stiff neck… you have many dreams…” Who doesn’t?

Still, I think there are some good ones around.

Yes, exactly. In a sense the tailor-made formula is the diagnosis.

As for pulse diagnosis, yes, it can be amazing - like the first time I felt the “three pearls in a dish” and said to a woman, “I think you may be pregnant” (and no, she was only two months, not showing nothing), but then again, I can also understand why sometimes there is less emphasis on the full work up. The problem is obvious, no need to explore anymore.


To spare yourself some pain follow this suggestion.

Start tracking her flow. Usually a woman’s body prepares for her flow about 14 days before. So, when she has her period, mark it on the calander, all the days she’s on it. Then when she’s done start counting down to the next. In the meantime, you can start planning [color=darkred]a small mini trip[/color] so when her next period comes you are out for the duration of PMS or just during the time it is at it’s worst. Good vacation for both of you. :smiley: :smiley:

Just my two pennies
Best of luck

I never notice. I mean what do I care.

[quote=“Mother Theresa”]As regularly as others are transformed into werewolves with the monthly moon, my wife becomes an intolerant, impatient, bitchy, crazy mad woman and by far the best thing I can do is get the hell away from her.


My favorite cousin is just like your wife. She’s an incredibly pleasant, bubbly person who is a joy to be around, save for the four or five days when she experiences PMS. Thankfully, she is married to a tolerant, patient man. He just sort of smiles and realizes that the rational version of his wife will return in a few days. Forgives what happens during those four or five days.

What is so great about being rational all of the time, anyway? A little irrationality keeps things interesting, doesn’t it? Change your perspective a few degrees, MT, and you’ll be amazed at how much more at ease you feel.

You know why they call it PMS?
Because the name “Mad Cow Disease”
was already taken!

No detectable difference at all prior to the announcement of “Neige laile.”

I agree with NamaHottie about knowing her cycle. I have horrrrrrrible PMS. I think no one likes me, i think I am fat, I think my boyfriend doesn’t want me, I go nuts. I track mine very closely. I won’t schedule meetings or plan special outings near it because I know I am irrational.
You should map hers out and then start experimenting on things to control her moods.
Some women already know what works for them. I eat about a chocolate bar a day when I am near mine. Only way to stay sane. When I start wanting to kill everyone in sight, I start nibbling on the chocolate. It really help.
You could also try to do things to alleviate her pain. Buy one of those wonderful little hot water bags that they sell in the night markets. I promise you, those things are GREAT for cramps. make sure she drinks a lot of hot water but almost no non- chocolate caffeine (caffeine makes the cramps and mood swings worse).
Buy a bunch of fruits (especially raisins if she will eat them) and have them around the house that week. Fruits help stabilize the mood swings. And maybe, this is the best idea but expensive, buy her a spa pack and make sure she schedules the monthly appointment on the first day of her period.
Also keep in mind that she is going to be VERY tired. So don’t plan things that take a lot of energy or are around a lot of people. Night markets+ periods= bad.
I knwo it is a lot of work. But it might transform the witch into just a mildy bitchy woman.

I won’t go near my boyfriend when I have my period. Every time I do we fight. My last boyfriend would just pat me on the head and tell me to shut up. I actually miss him when I am having my time.

Just a thought, while the PMS is a potential nightmare, the post-menstrual horniness is something like nature’s compensation. A balm of sorts for recent misbehaviour.

“Here, take yer free and easy wandereing powder while I skip off to to meet some mates. Catch ya in a couple of days.”


Umm, I can see that. Fair call.


Mapping hasn’t helped me. Some one turned off the light? :blush: :idunno:

Then there’s that er, marriage thing Nama :wink:

Besides the Chinese medicine thing, I know that taking birth control pills work wonders for PMS (along with acne!) for some women. OTOH, there’s some women who don’t for a variety of reasons.

Okay, was a long trip… I need to sleep. No idea why I’m posting this :s

Birth Control doesn’t work for all women. Some women have severe side effects from it.

. . . stroke being potentially the most catastrophic among them.

My SO tried the pill once, ended up sick as a dog. I got to thinking, what if the flipside of viagra was to totally disengage the sex drive?

Mercifully (for men) only women bleed.


And to quote Grouch Marx who was busted kissing another woman by his wife:

I wasn’t kissing her, just whispering in her mouth (sic) :smiley:

You still take a mini trip. To the couch, to the mall, to the movies, to the library, anywhere that will get you out of the path of the storm. :wink:

Try dissolving a few cubes of black (brown) sugar in hot water… give it to your female SO as a drink just before and during the period before actual menstration begins… Seems to help some women.

Very metrosexual. :wink:

I go for keeping my mouth shut and staying the hell out of the way.