Being the serial cad that I am, I can draw on the experience of three SOs and a first GF for this one.
The first GF was moody and temperamental at the best of times. She became damned near murderous with PMS. I thought it was normal.
SO one was/is a wild creature prone to erratic and dangerous behaviour, totally unpredictable when drunk and prone to the blues. PMs for her is clearly hell. In hindsight, I’d have to say that it had a great deal to do with our parting. I’m not the brightest of sparks and it took me around 5 years to put it together that, oh, that’s right, it’s around that time of the month.
I have a son to this woman and we are fantastically good friends, frequently in contact, though seperated by distance. I can still tell when her period’s on its way, though I am never stupid enough to bring it up. I prefer the head down approach.
SO two, a Taiwanese, was a breathe of fantastically fresh air. A strikingly positive woman that showed no malice to anyone, except on the occasions of perceived poor service (I never understood that, but since it really was her only vice, I’d acquiece). Not even a faint sign that trouble was brewing before Fred arrived or after he left.
Now with SO three, I’m back with the troubled visits. Mercifully they are not quie so bad or violent as other encounters. Mostly she withdraws and if anything becomes indifferent. Freaky when we first started going out together, but as I get to know her more I’m better at dealing with it. She says she was very bad in previous relationships but has learnt to deal with it to some extent.
Donning Nurse Ratchett’s starched cap and polishing off my bare foot doctor qualififcations, I can assure you that it is treatable. (Lordy, please, no PMS inspired woman readers come after me for saying that!)
Chinese medicine is your friend here Mother T. Look up liver qi stagnation. The usual formula is Xiao Yao San - Xiao yao from the Zhuangzi and san, powder). One of it’s chief ingredients is dang gui, the very same ingrediant in that dang gui chicken soup you see all those premenstrual woman huddling around slurping at the night markets. The other and possible precursor is disharmony of the spleen - spleen doesn’t produce enough blood, which then doesn’t cool the liver is the usual offender in this instance (this is the Chinese medicine logic and has no reflection to the similarly named western medical concepts of these organs, by the way).
But do remember that formulas are always tailored in the Chinese medicine schema and, of course, there can be other causes. So no, tempting as it might be, don’t go buying it off the shelf and sprinkling it in her tea - it also has a very recognisable flavour.
A mix of accupuncture, exercise (the liver’s job in Chinese medicine is to push the qi around, exercise helps the movement of qi. Stuck qi causes heat, leading to flare ups . . . put simply.), herbs and some understanding and empathy will go a long way to easing this. Mind you, she also has to take some responsibility for her actions in my book. Erh, that’d be the first bit.
HG/Nurse Rathcett and Monglian doctor Huang.
Couple of links:
Light background reading:
Do read this one,
[url=http://chinesemedicalpsychiatry.com/articles/article_rambling_powder.html]An Interesting Modification of Xiao Yao San (Rambling Powder) Vis