Motto for weekly report

My boss requests every group in his company to write a weekly report about the activities of the group. It is supposed to focus on what he calls “visible results”. Being “the weird guy in Taiwan” I never added a motto to the headline of the report, but things are changing and before long he will ask me to do as the others do.

Originally I was thinking of a “cool quote” from Confusius, Zhuangzi, Huainanzi or even Ge Hong, but I don’t seem to find the time to actually read any of these. So the idea is to ask my fellow Forumosans for advice.

Some of the mottos that are currently in use by other groups below, they are all,

How’s about “I’m not your fucking monkey”
No?
How about “Too busy doing actual work to waste time with stupid slogans for your stupid reports”
Or
“I’m better than those other guys. Give ME the raise”
“If not for me, your Taiwan sales would be in the shitter”
I have lots more. :wink:

That’s awful, rice – next, they’ll be making you go on “team bonding” weekends. Building rafts out of old newspapers and such like. :laughing:

[quote=“sandman”]How’s about “I’m not your fucking monkey”
No?
How about “Too busy doing actual work to waste time with stupid slogans for your stupid reports”
Or
“I’m better than those other guys. Give ME the raise”
“If not for me, your Taiwan sales would be in the shitter”
I have lots more. :wink:

That’s awful, rice – next, they’ll be making you go on “team bonding” weekends. Building rafts out of old newspapers and such like. :lol:[/quote]

Very nice, Sandman. Very subtle, too.

It IS awful. But as long as they pay for the flight, I wouldn’t mind building rafts out of old newspapers. And the Taiwan sales ARE in the shitter, but that is beyond the point.

“These eleven words represent eleven dollars I didn’t earn for you.”

“Big money, no whammies!”

“Untitled Document”

“I am not a number. I am a free man.”

But seriously…um…never mind.

“I’m not your fucking monkey” gets my vote. :thumbsup:

I think you should use a reallllllly obscure cinema quote that has no meaning and when he asks what it means look like you are really trying to figure out how to say and keep sayinng things like “It’s like”, “well you know”, “uhm, when…” and then give up. You should walk off talking to yourself like you can’t figure out how to explain it but act like he is messed up for not knowing what it means.

OK, I’ve got it, after a long night mulling the problem and taking into account your preferences, you should use:

[color=red]
“I’d rather be sailing”
[/color]

Interesting…
I have to waste my time doing one of those weekly report things too (Actually, two. One on Thursday for one of my bosses and one on Friday for another boss. Needless to say they both get a copy of the same doc.)

I wonder if I’m supposed to put a motto at the top too…?
Maybe I could use my Forumosa signature (see below) :wink:

I LOVE that movie!!

A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well

Tigerman the Magnificent wrote:

You owe me a new computer keyboard! :smiling_imp:

And throw in a new monitor too because I’ll never get it back to new.

:laughing:

(This Report) Beats Working

[quote=“elektronisk”]Tigerman the Magnificent wrote:

You owe me a new computer keyboard! :smiling_imp:

And throw in a new monitor too because I’ll never get it back to new.

:laughing:[/quote]

always drink to the side of the pc…thanks…