This is Spinal Tap
Mick Shrimpton: As long as there’s, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.
And…
Derek Smalls: We’re lucky.
David St. Hubbins: Yeah.
Derek Smalls: I mean, people should be envying us, you know.
David St. Hubbins: I envy us.
Derek Smalls: Yeah.
David St. Hubbins: I do.
Derek Smalls: Me too.
That ain’t right!!!
Mays Gilliam (Chris Rock) Head of State
[edited]
Monty Python and The Meaning of Life
Grim Reaper: Englishmen, you’re all so fucking pompous. None of you have got any balls.
Grim Reaper: Shut up, you American. You Americans, all you do is talk, and talk, and say “let me tell you something” and “I just wanna say.” Well, you’re dead now, so shut up.
[quote=“rooftop”]Monty Python and the Holy Grail
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food-trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries![/quote]
but it appears you’ve been beaten…
[quote=“Frost on page 1”]
French Soldier: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.[/quote]
So…Gooftop 
…
Bowels in or out?
Hannibal
Star Wars Episode 1
Two-headed race announcer alien: Ouch! That’s gotta hurt!
In response:
Fight Club
Tyler: I didn’t create some loser alter ego to make me feel better.
Good catch TS
As Good As It Gets
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Give me that baby, you warthog from hell!
Raising Arizona
Little Nicky
“Even in Hell I get no respect!”
"Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today’s codes? "
–Maj. “King” Kong, Dr. Strangelove
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
Gump
[quote=“Mother Theresa”]“Stupid is as stupid does.”
Gump[/quote]
With so many things going wrong, He did what anybody else would do: He went on vacation.
Michael Moore
Clark W. Griswold: I think you’re all fued in the head. We’re ten hours from the fuing fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it’s a quest! It’s a quest for fun! I’m gonna have fun, and you’re gonna have fun! We’re all gonna have so much fuing fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your aholes! I’ve got to be crazy! I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose!
You are an errant grocery clerk sent to collect a bill.
Miles: I’m a fingerprint on the window of a skyscraper.
–Sideways
Helen Parr: Everybody is special, Dash.
Dashiell ‘Dash’ Parr: That’s just another way of saying nobody is.
–The Incredibles
Marty: I got a job for you.
Private Detective Visser: Uh, well, if the pay’s right, and it’s legal, I’ll do it.
Marty: It’s not strictly legal.
Private Detective Visser: [Thinks for a second] Well, if the pay’s right, I’ll do it.
–Blood Simple
[quote=“flike”]
Marty: I got a job for you.
Private Detective Visser: Uh, well, if the pay’s right, and it’s legal, I’ll do it.
Marty: It’s not strictly legal.
Private Detective Visser: [Thinks for a second] Well, if the pay’s right, I’ll do it.
–Blood Simple[/quote]
There must and shall be aspirin. If I do not have aspirin, I shall die.
Withnail and I
[quote=“Toe Save”]There must and shall be aspirin. If I do not have aspirin, I shall die.
Withnail and I[/quote]
Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.
–Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery
-Excuse me. Are you the Judean People’s Front?
-Fuck off! We’re the People’s Front of Judea
.
.
.
Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!
[they all stab themselves]
Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?
–Life of Brian
[quote=“flike”]Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!
[they all stab themselves]
Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?
–Life of Brian[/quote]
Gee, that was really exciting. I bet you’re a big Lee Marvin fan, aren’t you?
Pulp Fiction
[quote=“Toe Save”]Gee, that was really exciting. I bet you’re a big Lee Marvin fan, aren’t you?
Pulp Fiction[/quote]
The Pilot, Capt. Hank Tucker RCAF: I’m Captain Hank Tucker, RCAF. I’ve come to bring the fugitive to justice. Where’s headquarters?
Sergeant Edgar Millen: Wherever I’m standin’.
–Death Hunt
Fifty-fifty, right?
–American Pilot, Hell in the Pacific
Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Where’d you get it?
Private Joker: I don’t remember, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is that you’ve got written on your helmet?
Private Joker: “Born to Kill”, sir.
Pogue Colonel: You write “Born to Kill” on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What’s that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?
Private Joker: No, sir.
Pogue Colonel: You’d better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you.
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you’ll be standing tall before the man.
Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
Pogue Colonel: The what?
Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
Private Joker: Our side, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Don’t you love your country?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don’t you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Son, all I’ve ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It’s a hardball world, son. We’ve gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.
I bet you are one of them guys that will fuck a guy rigt in the ass and not even give him the common courtisy of a reach around!
Full Metal Jacket