[quote=“Baas Babelaas”]Your tips for getting irksome memories of a lost love outta your head please?
I catch myself thinking of a girl I finished up with a year ago (even though it wasn’t a particulary successful relationship, it lasted a couple years).[/quote]
There’s nothing wrong with the memories. They are experiences you’ve had in your life. If they become irksome, or you spend too much time dwelling on them, the best cure is to make some new memories.
[quote=“Baas Babelaas”]
We try our best to have a polite friendship, but somehow the cyber-mudslinging start sooner or later (i’m not even on the island anymore).
So, I guess Tip 1 would be: break off all contact, if we can’t be cordial to each other. Tip 2 seems to have reasonable success: find another lass (or few) - Thailand’s great for that!
Tip 3 would be…?[/quote]
Tips 1 and 2 seem to be logical extensions of one another. I would go for both of them in tandem if I were you. My maxim is that lovers are not friends and ex’s can seldom become the latter. Breaking off contact would be my choice and has been in my own life. Take a long time out from the relationship, move on and later determine if there is any basis for a platonic friendship. With an appropriate amount of time and distance to properly get over the relationship, you’ll probably find your life is much less complicated without your ex and you have no need of what she can offer in friendship relationship.
After I broke up with my TW ex, we tried to do the friendship thing, but it didn’t work. Too much fighting. So, we pretty much cut all contact for a few months, only to bump into each other one day outside SOGO, which led to coffee, then dinner, then a movie and then bed.
Big mistake.
So another few months of no contact went by. I sent her an SMS on her birthday, she sent me one on mine. Ended up talking on the phone occasionally.
And now - I’m her best friend. She’s mine. Time has allowed us to move beyond the love stage, and to discover that we now get along great as friends. Took a couple of years to get to that stage, but get there we did.
[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]Not to highjack or anything, but Housecat…? You’ve got some unresolved issues. Maybe “BB” does too. But 12 years later, 2 marriages, and multiple offspring? Give us the real scoop.
That is what always gets you, those unresolved issues. Otherwise moving on would be easier, if it weren’t for those clingons.
So what’s really going on? It’s ok, let it out…both of you…
What has grabbed a hold of your soul and has not let go???
If you let it continue its’ grasp, surely you will go insane. For it lets us not think rationally anymore. It’s like a brain eating virus, and it will destroy you,…so let it out. Set it free.
JM[/quote]
Ahh, well. Thanks for asking, but I guess it really would be hijacking to discuss further. He was my best friend. I used to say that he walks in my soul. That’s still the best way to put it that I’ve figured out. But there were issues, of course. That’s all I can say here.
Hahaha - just read the cheesiest novel wherein the main character describes his feelings for his ex-wife:
[quote]He hadn’t intentionally meant to hurt her, but because the two years he had lived with her had stifled him as nothing he could ever imagine stifle a man, he had become indifferent to her feelings. If he had been more patient, he told himself, more understanding, if he had made an effort to help her, they might have ironed out their problems. Thinking about this, and thinking about it honestly, he doubted it. Sex to him was the most natural thing: something to enjoy, not brood about, not to make more important than anything else in his life. Sex was to have when the urge came and to wait when the urge wasn’t there. Her complications and her fears had hurt him, then finally bored him.
He had received a letter from her. She said she was a mess. One of the things for which he had once loved her was her complete honesty. She said she should never have married, and she was sorry. She concluded:
[i]“I guess I’m not the only woman who feels as I do. It’s not that I’m incapable of loving a man, it’s the bed business I can’t go along with. I do love you … enough to give you your freedom. Be happy, find some other girl who is not the mess I am. I am a mess … such a mess. I don’t want to go on. They say you come back again. I might have a second chance. It would be wonderful if we met again, after years and years, and I wasn’t the mess I am now, wouldn’t it?
Goodbye”[/i][/quote]
Kinda close to home, but I had a good chuckle anyways, guess that’s what those kinda books are for
The wifey did herself in with a shotgun, she must have been a real mess then!
