Moving to taiwan to be with my girl

hi people. i am very new to this site, but I have been with my taiwanese g/f now for just over a year, knew her for nearly 2 now. anyway I am going to be moving to taiwan to be with her.

im not sure i need to go into how we met. im excited and nervous about moving to taiwan to be with her. I am sure this is a normal thing to feel.

I have to finish my degree in england first so that I can get a job there I guess. I would finish the degree first anyway regardless.

I am also nervous that things might change in the relationship when I move to taiwan but there is only one way to find that answer out right?

At the moment things are going so great I am planning to marry this girl but we have both said we will not rush it even when I move there and we are going to take things slowly to make sure everything is how we want/hope it will go like

Welcome to Forumosa sheep shearer,
Yes, you should definitely finish the degree. Otherwise, you’d be unemployable here on the island.
There are a few chaps on this site who came to Taiwan to bed with their Taiwanese love units. In most cases things didn’t work out and most of them are now broken wrecks of men, drunkards working deadend ESL jobs, too far gone to ever go back to civilisation. But then again, you could be lucky. Just don’t blame me if 20 years hence, you find yourself in some shitty little corrugated-iron shack passing as a school, staggering around drunk in a Santa outfit (three sizes too small) while a mob of seven-year-olds claw at you shouting for candy.

Definitely finish the degree otherwise you’ll find it near impossible to get a work permit. Stay away from duck farms/almas john /Chiayi and you’ll be fine. Sounds like you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain so just do it. You can always leave if it doesn’t work out.

yes I am not the type of person to rush into something like this with a girl, even though we are far apart we seem to get along great, she has visited me twice, and I have visted Taiwan twice and stayed with her parents. I think her parents don’t mind me at all, although her mom is taking a lot more figuring out than her dad. I get the impression her brother likes me too, so all seems well with her family and friends liking me. I think the reason they dont want me to stay at their home again is because of culture difference that is all. Apparently it is a big thing for a un married girl to bring a guy back to stay at their home.

We have known eachother a while now and still speak every day, txt eachother every day, call eachother before we sleep and everything, so from reading other peoples posts on here while I was waiting for comfirmation of my account being accepted so far it seems I have been quite lucky. We really do have a lot in common, but also we have things we like to do seperatley which I feel is healthy for a realtionship I hope this makes sense.

I would not dream of not finishing my degree, I have already put a lot of work into it, and only have to go until next summer and then I am qualified.

also so far I work as a youth worker in the UK so I am always working with young kids, and my degree is in youth and community work, im not sure the taiwanese will understand what this means.
I have also worked in USA, Cambodia, and now Germany as well as UK so I hope all this helps me to get a job there.
and yes I guess I will stay away from the duck farms, god knows what that means but I cant see myself living on a duck farm like, id end up eating them all :o)

Yeah…the eternal search for a happy ending.

So many paths…so many cliffs.

[quote=“almas john”]Welcome to Forumosa sheep shearer,
Yes, you should definitely finish the degree. Otherwise, you’d be unemployable here on the island.
There are a few chaps on this site who came to Taiwan to bed with their Taiwanese love units. In most cases things didn’t work out and most of them are now broken wrecks of men, drunkards working deadend ESL jobs, too far gone to ever go back to civilisation. But then again, you could be lucky. Just don’t blame me if 20 years hence, you find yourself in some shitty little corrugated-iron shack passing as a school, staggering around drunk in a Santa outfit (three sizes too small) while a mob of seven-year-olds claw at you shouting for candy.[/quote]

Short but classic.

Some of the most unhappy foreigners I have met in Taiwan (and there are a lot) have been men who came back to Taiwan with their girlfriend or wife. Taiwan can be a challenging place to live, and when things in the relationship don’t go well, there is an understandable tendency to say why the f___ am I here on this accursed island.

Give yourself reasons to be here other than her. One of the most important things you can do is start learning Chinese immediately when you get here. Plan on spending a couple years making that your main activity in Taiwan and structure your life around it. Otherwise, you will soon get used to living here without knowing the language and you will never learn more than a smattering. If you delay starting to study Chinese, you will probably never do it.

Good luck and welcome to taiwan!

[quote=“Feiren”][quote=“almas john”]Welcome to Forumosa sheep shearer,
Yes, you should definitely finish the degree. Otherwise, you’d be unemployable here on the island.
There are a few chaps on this site who came to Taiwan to bed with their Taiwanese love units. In most cases things didn’t work out and most of them are now broken wrecks of men, drunkards working deadend ESL jobs, too far gone to ever go back to civilisation. But then again, you could be lucky. Just don’t blame me if 20 years hence, you find yourself in some shitty little corrugated-iron shack passing as a school, staggering around drunk in a Santa outfit (three sizes too small) while a mob of seven-year-olds claw at you shouting for candy.[/quote]

Short but classic.

Some of the most unhappy foreigners I have met in Taiwan (and there are a lot) have been men who came back to Taiwan with their girlfriend or wife. Taiwan can be a challenging place to live, and when things in the relationship don’t go well, there is an understandable tendency to say why the f___ am I here on this accursed island.

Give yourself reasons to be here other than her. One of the most important things you can do is start learning Chinese immediately when you get here. Plan on spending a couple years making that your main activity in Taiwan and structure your life around it. Otherwise, you will soon get used to living here without knowing the language and you will never learn more than a smattering. If you delay starting to study Chinese, you will probably never do it.

Good luck and welcome to Taiwan![/quote]

I have already started studying chinese, my university in england has a beginners course and im going to take it again next year if they let me. It is really good advice to learn chinese. First time I went to taiwan I only knew some basics and people seemed impressed by that, second time I knew a lot more through the basic course and people seemed really suprised. Every oppurtunity I get I try and speak to chinese native speakers to practise, because I am not always going to be just speaking to my girlfriend.

In all seriousness I was planning on moving to Asia before I met my girlfriend, I just didnt know what country yet, but now that has been decided for me, I am also really interested in the culture, the food, the people I find it all interesting.

I can see how it can go wrong though for people, and im just keeping my fingers and toes crossed that it does not happen to me, but I am also trying to do what I can to eradicate that happening as much as possible.

When I move there I plan to continue to try and study and learn chinese, I want to be able to try and read and write although I know this could take some time but if you want to do it a lot i believe anyone can do things like that.

As well as this I want to join similar interest groups, maybe football teams, or photo groups or whatever. I have a lot of interests. I dont just want to go there, sit on my arse and get fatter.

sorry for big post.
good advice too
and thanks for the welcome

Welcome to the rock. Meantime, one of the pitfalls of following after your TW girl is that you could come and discover a whole heap of other TW girls that catches your eye. So love for your girl really needs to be strong.

I know this fine young lady. I mean shes really fine in looks, intelligence, personality, etc. She met up with this American lad in the USA who was “so in love with her” and followed her to TW. Imagine he dumped her not long after coming over and finding out how many TW girls he could date? And he really had a fine example right there and really not sure he could do better.

Anyhow, love between two people is a struggle in so many ways.

Or can be.

well when i was in tw last time, i did realise most the girls were pretty. the thing is its as much a mental thing as a looks thing. hope that makes sense. and my girl is damn sexy, i think so anyway. sexy and intellgient i can see the problems, but i told her i just want to take things slowly when i go there. it seems the best way to go about it, and she understands it will take time for me to adapt to living there, and she wants me to join groups i am interested in so that i can make friends and everything. so up to now i think it all sounds good.

I understand the concerns though, but I really do love this girl, im not the type of guy to just run off with other offers.

Do people think in my situation I will not know if things will work out between me and my girlfriend now unless I live near/with her? I mean we get on great, we have visted each other and had no problems surely it has to be the next step dont you guys think?

thanks for the help.

ONly real together time and time itself will tell. Good luck though. TW girls cut straight to your heart, but dont be dumped by one, its gonna hurt like hell. Cuz they make you love em, and if they dont love you back its OUCH time.

i already have been dumped by one and it took some time to get over her, but i did. thing is I think this girl is perfect for me, and she seems the only girl that has touched my heart so much.

like i said earlier i planned to leave england anyway, its going to fucking cleaners that country. I will miss the football mind and that is it, but Newcastle are uber shit so im not missing much.
Im so excited for moving there. Its going to be great and I really do think myself and my girlfriend have come so far together already it just seems like the next logical step.

she knows I am doing a lot for her, she has told me many times. She even said she would leave school and come and live in England with me, but i dont think any man who loved their g/f could do a thing like this.

‘touched your heart’? :ohreally:

yes what is wrong with that.

she dangled in her hand and gave it a pat to be honest :laughing:

i take it your the type who does not like this kind of speak?

Nah, sorry, wasn’t taking the piss.

Have a look at this cultural gem. :wink:

now i get it, i remember the stickers saying taiwan touch your heart being all over the place, and looking at my girlfriend thinking well if thats what they meant by that…good call :bravo: :smiley: :laughing:

OH and errr probably have a chat with TOM HILL bout the dangers of falling so deep with one of em too fast?

DAng I should speak, I am in the same boat (in love with one).

Now where is that thread? Let me try to find it.

Yeah, when I saw the thread title, the first thing I wanted to ask was if your gf’s family has a duck farm…

i just read all that thread…took quite some time to read. It is hard to explain I understand what everyone says about the eyes and everything but…we seem to get on great. everything up to now has been fine, i have met her parents, i dont intend to live with her parents, i understand the family ties in taiwan seem stronger than the uk, i really love her personality, if she went with someone else i would find them and kick seven shades of shite out of them (or attempt it, they may be bigger than me :smiley: ) but up to now everything has been great, we have loads in common, we have loads to talk about, we always chatting with eachother calling each other everything is great.

I get the impression the next step is being in the same country. She knows I would like to take it slow once I move there, I also understand that to stay with her i dont have to piss off her family.

I have a very big feeling she is the one. There is only one way anyone kind find out if the person your with is really the one isnt there?

So plan is move to Taipei, my g/f will start off by staying over some nights, we can see how it goes. Then eventually she will move in if everything goes to plan.

I dont have any time scale for this, I dont think you can time scale this kind of thing. I think it is the first time mind you, that both my heart, and my head have been screaming at me YES YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!

and you cant not do something everything inside is telling you to do, or you will live with regret.

I wont come there till next year and I am getting excited now, some posts on here scare me but peoples experiances are all different and I have noticed not everyone has went and had a bad experiance a lot of guys and gals have went there and got married and are still living together.

now im blabbering sorry for going on, just reading this site is great help for me before I move to taipei

I think your hearts in the right place and seems like you have a solid game plan. Good as any.
Go for it !! And dont look back.

Check out this thread for some insights. I like some of the comments. There was this guy who got up the courage to speak to some TW girl and ended up happily married still 12 years later. So yes, it can happen. So dont think it cant. The beauty of a man/woman relationship is that there are no rules and no one knows what is what , and what is a better bet or not. Its a discovery and an adventure.

danielwa11ace.wordpress.com/2007 … in-taiwan/

that article was really good.

sorry about double post earlier my internet was going spacka mental