Mr. Fish and Mr. Jade

I have no business being here. I am not a student of chinese. Maybe someday, but quite frankly, the idea of actually studying it scares the piss outta me.

That said, I have authored what I hope can be a children’s book.

That is, unless my idea is crap.

So, will you guys give me some feedback? Here is the text:

魚先生:你好嗎?玉先生。
玉先生:我很好,魚先生。
魚先生:今天生意好嗎?
玉先生:好阿,很好。
魚先生:有沒有魚?
玉先生:有,有魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越的魚?
玉先生:有,有優越的魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越又憂鬱的魚?
玉先生:有,有優越又憂鬱的魚。
魚先生:有沒有玉?
玉先生:有,有玉。
魚先生:有沒有優越的玉?
玉先生:有,有優越的玉。
魚先生:有沒有優越又憂鬱的玉?
玉先生:有,有優越又憂鬱的玉。
魚先生:有沒有魷魚?
玉先生:有,有魷魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越的魷魚?
玉先生:有,有優越的魷魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越又憂鬱的魷魚?
玉先生:有,有優越又憂鬱的魷魚。

Properly illustrated, could this be a cool book?

And wasn’t posting it here a clever way to copyright my work? :sunglasses:

I dare ya to say that ten times fast.

Well, I guess you got the central motif then… :wink:

Boink!

And to hell with the children’s book.
I think it would make a fine script for a porn movie.
If you get foreigners to play the parts.
And film it at 邀月.

that’s great, but it seems a bit repetitive. just as a suggestion, maybe along these lines a bit?

魚先生:你好嗎?玉先生。
玉先生:我很好,魚先生。
魚先生:今天生意好嗎?
玉先生:好阿,很好。
魚先生:有沒有魚?
玉先生:有,有魚。
魚先生:有沒有玉?
玉先生:有,有玉。
魚先生:有沒有優越的玉?
玉先生:有,有優越的玉。
魚先生:有沒有魷魚?
玉先生:有,有魷魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越又憂鬱的魷魚?
玉先生:有,有優越又憂鬱的魷魚。

Well, I guess you got the central motif then… :wink:[/quote]

Is the title of this thread correct? Isn’t there an :wink: missing?[/quote]

There was. I borrowed yours. It cost a pretty penny sizing it down to lower case. But well worth the cost when face is the price.

Thanks Squire. And for the kind PM. I gotta fill ya in on some backstory.

And to hell with the children’s book.
I think it would make a fine script for a porn movie.
If you get foreigners to play the parts.
And film it at 邀月.[/quote]

Great idea! :slight_smile: :bravo: Just think what I could do during all those “hesitant”* moments.

*Think about it… :smiling_imp: It’s seriously cold.

[quote=“Toe Save”]Great idea! :slight_smile: :bravo: Just think what I could do during all those “hesitant”* moments.
*Think about it… :smiling_imp: It’s seriously cold.[/quote]
Ah-kay, ah-kay, I’ll throw ya a bone.
How about this idea for a bilingual edition?

魚: Yoo-hoo, 玉!
玉: How are you, 魚?
魚: Fine thank you, 玉。今天有魚嗎 ?
玉: 有, you want 魚?
魚: Yeah, 魚。
玉: You are 魚!
魚: Oh yeah, 有。
玉: 玉。
魚: 哎喲! Yeah, you 玉。我要玉。
玉: You 要我,玉!
魚: 要。
玉: 好。趕快上來。

[quote=“Tempo Gain”]that’s great, but it seems a bit repetitive. just as a suggestion, maybe along these lines a bit?

魚先生:你好嗎?玉先生。
玉先生:我很好,魚先生。
魚先生:今天生意好嗎?
玉先生:好阿,很好。
魚先生:有沒有魚?
玉先生:有,有魚。
魚先生:有沒有玉?
玉先生:有,有玉。
魚先生:有沒有優越的玉?
玉先生:有,有優越的玉。
魚先生:有沒有魷魚?
玉先生:有,有魷魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越又憂鬱的魷魚?
玉先生:有,有優越又憂鬱的魷魚。[/quote]

Brilliant. But what would I know? It’s The DNS who applauds your sense of poetry. And given her response, I too would like to thank you very much for your rearrangement. Yes, it makes much more sense, and has tripled the potential for comedy.

May I keep it?

by all means!

[quote=“Tempo Gain”]that’s great, but it seems a bit repetitive. just as a suggestion, maybe along these lines a bit?

魚先生:你好嗎?玉先生。
玉先生:我很好,魚先生。
魚先生:今天生意好嗎?
玉先生:好阿,很好。
魚先生:有沒有魚?
玉先生:有,有魚。
魚先生:有沒有玉?
玉先生:有,有玉。
魚先生:有沒有優越的玉?
玉先生:有,有優越的玉。
魚先生:有沒有魷魚?
玉先生:有,有魷魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越又憂鬱的魷魚?
玉先生:有,有優越又憂鬱的魷魚。[/quote]

Much better! In the first version you had it talked about 憂鬱的玉 which I presume means depressed or disheartened jade. Sadly I don’t think jade has feelings, and certainly isn’t capable of suffering depression… Otherwise a great idea! :slight_smile:

[quote=“taipei_swan”][quote=“Tempo Gain”]that’s great, but it seems a bit repetitive. just as a suggestion, maybe along these lines a bit?

魚先生:你好嗎?玉先生。
玉先生:我很好,魚先生。
魚先生:今天生意好嗎?
玉先生:好阿,很好。
魚先生:有沒有魚?
玉先生:有,有魚。
魚先生:有沒有玉?
玉先生:有,有玉。
魚先生:有沒有優越的玉?
玉先生:有,有優越的玉。
魚先生:有沒有魷魚?
玉先生:有,有魷魚。
魚先生:有沒有優越又憂鬱的魷魚?
玉先生:有,有優越又憂鬱的魷魚。[/quote]

Much better! In the first version you had it talked about 憂鬱的玉 which I presume means depressed or disheartened jade. Sadly I don’t think jade has feelings, and certainly isn’t capable of suffering depression… Otherwise a great idea! :slight_smile:[/quote]

Of course not, but it is just a silly story. The artist can render the jade to have anthropomorphic qualities. In fact, I think that will be the funniest part of the book.

[quote=“smell the glove”] Ah-kay, ah-kay, I’ll throw ya a bone.
How about this idea for a bilingual edition?

魚: Yoo-hoo, 玉!
玉: How are you, 魚?
魚: Fine thank you, 玉。今天有魚嗎 ?
玉: 有, you want 魚?
魚: Yeah, 魚。
玉: You are 魚!
魚: Oh yeah, 有。
玉: 玉。
魚: 哎喲! Yeah, you 玉。我要玉。
玉: You 要我,玉!
魚: 要。
玉: 好。趕快上來。[/quote]

:laughing: Brilliant!

Silly me, I neglected to use my imagination. I get it now though, even better!! :slight_smile: