Melbourne was my favorite of all the places I visited in Australia; I just liked the feeling of the city. Touring the Melbourne Gaol was fun with all the Ned Kelly stuff, but mostly just walking around downtown and along the riverside.
Tomas, Kiwis are all bipedal and wool-less. except their girlfriends, of course.
Yeah right. like that’s going to happen!
Erhm, Melbourne. So where to for the beach, Tomas? Melbourne is most famous for it’s shitty weather - typically four seasons in one day, and most of the beaches in Melbourne are on that crappy bay. I hope the beach is elsewhere!
HG[/quote]
Not sure. My hosts are well-off Melbournians who live in Toorak. They have a beach house in an area they describe as lovely, populated by surfers, wild kangaroos in the area, and always sunny. I think it is about 2-3 hours away. Does that sound like anything near a decent location?
Damned right. Could be Torquay, Lorne, Mornington Peninsular, Kangaroo Island . . . Bells . . you bastard!
HG
It is still a bit of a mystery, but I’m now told the beach house is right off the Great Ocean Road. The only thing between the house and the beach is the road itself.
I’ll be sure to give a full report when I return, complete with photos of my ghostly white, oversize body in a Speedo, frolicking on the beach.
Given they’re from Toorak, I’d say it’s most likely around Torquay/Bells.
You’d best learn the local vernacular - Speedos = budgie smugglers.
HG
So THAT is what the Australian ladies on the beach in Thailand meant when they said “Impressive budgie.” I thought they were talking about my pocketbook, and had no idea how they’d gotten the impression that I’m wealthy.
They were actually referring to the green bird that kept landing on my shoulder!
Careful, they’re apt to mount a local whale rescue group action and roll you back in when the tide is a bit higher…
God, I hate Australians!
Well, I’m exaggerating a bit. I’m 188cm tall and weigh in at 108kg. Not quite whale-sized, but certainly not petite, and not nearly as pretty as I used to be.
Hopefully I won’t be mistaken for a whale.
Well, probably better to be mistaken for a whale than a shark. How are your teeth?
Kiwis are crap. Can’t fly, can’t play rugby, they shag sheep. Why do we put up with them?
HG
Whale is a pretty apt description seeing as Tomas has an overactive blow hole.
Bravo! Well done.
Actually, I’m thinking I’ll only be the warm up to that massive specimen of Kiwi manhood known as almas john, who will shake the earth as he strides through Melbourne a week or so after I leave.
Greetings from Melbourne!
A drive down the great ocean road to Torquay or Lorne is a great day trip, as is Ballarat (site of the Eureka Stockade)
Nightlife- an array of restaurants that are mostly divided into precincts such as ;
Italian- Lygon St
Greek- LOnsdale St
Viet- Richmond
Mid Eastern- Sydney Rd
Southbank has a great waterside selction of restaurants including Nobu (owned by De Niro)
You must have a beer at Young & Jacksons pub, and see Chloe.
Ned Kelly’s armour is on display at the library, and the old gaol is worth a look see.
Victoria Markets has some good souvenirs and food
St Kilda has loads of hard drugs and hookers at night, but is actually ok by day.
Depends what you’re into really…Melbourne has it all.
[quote=“Highway Star”]Greetings from Melbourne!
A drive down the great ocean road to Torquay or Lorne is a great day trip, as is Ballarat (site of the Eureka Stockade)
Nightlife- an array of restaurants that are mostly divided into precincts such as ;
Italian- Lygon St
Greek- LOnsdale St
Viet- Richmond
Mid Eastern- Sydney Rd
Southbank has a great waterside selction of restaurants including Nobu (owned by De Niro)
You must have a beer at Young & Jacksons pub, and see Chloe.
Ned Kelly’s armour is on display at the library, and the old gaol is worth a look see.
Victoria Markets has some good souvenirs and food
St Kilda has loads of hard drugs and hookers at night, but is actually ok by day.
Depends what you’re into really…Melbourne has it all.[/quote]
Thank you for this, sir! I have written these places (aside from St. Kilda) down in my PDA phone.
Question–if you wanted to spend an evening in Melbourne listening to gorgeous live blues in a very relaxed, not-overly-crowded-but- populated-enough setting, where would you go? An evening of live blues in a friendly place is something to try to find in any city I visit.
BTW, we actually met once or twice long ago when I was into clubbing. I was often with some friends in the local law enforcement arena, and there’s a good possibility that we were smashed at the time.
[quote=“Tomas”][quote=“Highway Star”]Greetings from Melbourne!
A drive down the great ocean road to Torquay or Lorne is a great day trip, as is Ballarat (site of the Eureka Stockade)
Nightlife- an array of restaurants that are mostly divided into precincts such as ;
Italian- Lygon St
Greek- LOnsdale St
Viet- Richmond
Mid Eastern- Sydney Rd
Southbank has a great waterside selction of restaurants including Nobu (owned by De Niro)
You must have a beer at Young & Jacksons pub, and see Chloe.
Ned Kelly’s armour is on display at the library, and the old gaol is worth a look see.
Victoria Markets has some good souvenirs and food
St Kilda has loads of hard drugs and hookers at night, but is actually ok by day.
Depends what you’re into really…Melbourne has it all.[/quote]
Thank you for this, sir! I have written these places (aside from St. Kilda) down in my PDA phone.
Question–if you wanted to spend an evening in Melbourne listening to gorgeous live blues in a very relaxed, not-overly-crowded-but- populated-enough setting, where would you go? An evening of live blues in a friendly place is something to try to find in any city I visit.
BTW, we actually met once or twice long ago when I was into clubbing. I was often with some friends in the local law enforcement arena, and there’s a good possibility that we were smashed at the time.[/quote]
Hi Tomas, I do recall meeting you, I think it may have been at a Happy Hour also?
Check The Age (www.theage.com.au) Gig Guide for blues around town. AFAIK, there isnt really a blues dedicated venue here. Some world class acts swing by from time to time so you shouldnt be disappointed by the night life.
Al the best, and enjoy!!
Convict Marsupial Bruces,
Thanks for all the advice. Between tinnies, I’m packing me kit. Head off early tomorrow for a six-week honeymoon (no, not the booze, the wife) to Singapore, Malaysia, Melbourne and New Zealand. I have not been downunder for seven years so it will be good to catch up with the Yeti family.
I will send a report or two back from the frontline. You bastards.
Be Safe!
It’s quite touching to think that a man, even a mountain man thing, would consider my home country for his own honeymoon.
All the best to ya, big fella! Hope you have a grand old time of it. 
HG
[quote=“almas john”]Convict Marsupial Bruces,
Thanks for all the advice. Between tinnies, I’m packing me kit. Head off early tomorrow for a six-week honeymoon (no, not the booze, the wife) to Singapore, Malaysia, Melbourne and New Zealand. I have not been downunder for seven years so it will be good to catch up with the Yeti family.
I will send a report or two back from the frontline. You bastards.[/quote]
Enjoy your trip in the Lion City. Say hi to the Singapore trinity for me—father, son, and the Holy Goh 