My school does the DUMBEST things

[GuyInTaiwan]

[quote=“Buttercup”]1. Level testing. You are all B1 level, unless you are particularly thick, or over 40. If you are Swiss or Polish, you are B2-C1.
2. Marking homework. I wanted to get a stamp made that said: ‘Check subject/verb agreement. There is/are, not there have. Shilin nightmarket is not famous and does not have very delicious snake. Now go and sign up at Global Village and leave me alone.’[/quote]

There are times when I love your cynicism. Getting such stamps would be a good idea, though you could make a little key with symbols and explain it at the beginning of the first class. You could probably throw in some very subversive things things also that only some of the students might get and be amused by. Last year, for our summer camp, we had to prepare lists of vocabulary. I had to prepare some for visiting a doctor. I threw in “proctologist” and “enema” just to see if they’d check the lists. Of course, they didn’t, and we didn’t end up using the lists either. I turn these inane things we have to do at school into exercises to amuse myself. When I prepared the dialogues, they involved the doctors telling the kids they should stop smoking a pack a day because they were only eleven. Most kids would mindlessly read the dialogues, but I’d occasionally get a chuckle.

[TomHill]

Paying everyone the same weekly wage, regardless of experience, qualifications and hours worked!

[itakitez]

@TomHill

Paying everyone the same weekly wage, regardless of experience, qualifications and hours worked!

thats everywhere in taiwan, a friend actually got told at interview that the wage was bad but they expect her just to train for 4 years and start up here own competing company anyway so

1. why bother trying to retain the talent, it just makes another competitor faster
2. if you dont wanna take any risk, I dont need to make an effort to keep you coz you’ll stay anyway

[GuyInTaiwan]

There is actually a kind of logic to that. It does mean the place gets hamstrung a little, and it does lead to a certain tragedy of the commons, but it does protect their own backsides.

[Thelonlieste]

To add a certain ‘western ambience’ to the reception desk, my school plays the same CD over and over and over . . .

and over . . .

I’m starting to believe that the management does spot checks just to make sure it’s playing.

Must drive the receptionists nuts.

[TomHill]

@GuyInTaiwan

There is actually a kind of logic to that. It does mean the place gets hamstrung a little, and it does lead to a certain tragedy of the commons, but it does protect their own backsides.

Their logical reply was, well we will put you on an hourly rate. Still doesn’t solve the problem of people getting paid to not work now does it?

[GuyInTaiwan]

Tom: Of course not, but I think to a certain extent, we have to suspend disbelief and accept the internal logic of this place. In saying that, I’m perhaps the person least likely to be able to do that. I have colleagues who just go with the flow, but I’m always fighting the dumb shit around me, probably very much to my own detriment.

[TomHill]

@GuyInTaiwan

Tom: Of course not, but I think to a certain extent, we have to suspend disbelief and accept the internal logic of this place. In saying that, I’m perhaps the person least likely to be able to do that. I have colleagues who just go with the flow, but I’m always fighting the dumb shit around me, probably very much to my own detriment.

My example is of a school in England. That sort of shit shouldn’t happen here, but it does.

[Buttercup]

[quote=“TomHill”]
My example is of a school in England. That sort of shit shouldn’t happen here, but it does.[/quote]

It’s an EFL thing, not a Taiwan thing.

[GuyInTaiwan]

@TomHill

[quote=“GuyInTaiwan”]Tom: Of course not, but I think to a certain extent, we have to suspend disbelief and accept the internal logic of this place. In saying that, I’m perhaps the person least likely to be able to do that. I have colleagues who just go with the flow, but I’m always fighting the dumb shit around me, probably very much to my own detriment.

My example is of a school in England. That sort of shit shouldn’t happen here, but it does.[/quote]

:eh: Oh.

[Ditch]

If I never came to Taiwan I don’t know where I would get my laughs from!

Thanks for sharing those!

I have one of the best schools to work for. Very small, I am the only foreign teacher.
If they do do anything a bit left of field, I bring it up and it is usally dealt with satisfactorily. They are generally way more tolerant with me.

I’m paid well, I’m respected and listened to, they are up-front and honest with me, I get little bonuses when teaching hours are low due to summer and CNY vacations and the TAs are just the nicest girls. The whole place is fantastic!

The price I have to pay is not having the crazy stories to share!

However, students and their parents tend to fill this gap to some extent.

I had a student who was only ever physically present in class, but mentally inhabiting a nearby tree or something. You know the kid who still hasn’t got his book and pencil out by the time the other kids have all finished the work! Yeah, him! So, I started to keep him in after class to finish his work. The TAs would tell me his mom was waiting for him, and I would say GOOD! Please tell her that he didn’t do his work in class and so he is staying after class. (The poor TAs nearly died in shock on that one - even though I asked them to invite mom upstairs for me to explain to mom)

I figured this would whip the good old fashioned Taiwanese discipline routine into action and that I would have a high achieving student in return. Not to be.

However, his mom, realizing that her son never did his work during class time, and always ended up leaving 10-15 minutes late, starts showing up 20 minutes late to pick him up! :loco:

I then started getting him to do his work during break time while the other kids played. That fixed the problem!

Sadly, someone cut the tree down and I never saw him again.

[acid1394]

just an update on my university mandated TOEIC test. i found out that there is a university practice of giving out cash awards for different TOEIC scores. they first tried to get out of paying me because i am a native speaker, but i explained that they took two hours or some such of my life and made me sit through this pointless test because they didn’t want to treat me differently from the local professors. although this is the last time that i will ask them to treat me like a local employee, they caved to consistency and ended up doling out 20 grand. again, any semi-literate native english speaker who doesn’t doze off would get a perfect score. i may pay for this later, but it is pretty cool right now.

[Buttercup]

@acid1394

just an update on my university mandated TOEIC test. i found out that there is a university practice of giving out cash awards for different TOEIC scores. they first tried to get out of paying me because i am a native speaker, but i explained that they took two hours or some such of my life and made me sit through this pointless test because they didn’t want to treat me differently from the local professors. although this is the last time that i will ask them to treat me like a local employee, they caved to consistency and ended up doling out 20 grand. again, any semi-literate native english speaker who doesn’t doze off would get a perfect score. i may pay for this later, but it is pretty cool right now.

Brilliant! Something tells me you may be exempt, next year, though …

[James226]

Wow – I think I’m quite lucky that I work for such a good school. The only thing that I think is wrong with it is that they definitely treat the Taiwanese teachers worse than the foreign ones, in terms of pay and re-scheduling and the like.

I don’t think it’s fair, but none of the teachers want to say anything.

But other than that, my school is actually quite well-run and managed, the admin staff really takes suggestions from teachers seriously, and any problems are actually dealt with quite quickly and efficiently.

So to brag.