Need help writing my personals ad

Life Dating & Relationships
1

In [url=My one-month 'get it together' program thread, where I announced my new quest to the world[/url],

I’m quite offended really. Anyone who knows me will agree that I’m a [url=Who is that girl? sane individual, a slightly impulsive romantic, who much prefers real women[/url] to sheep. It’s unfair to tar me with the epithet ‘nutter’ just because I’ll try the unconventional in pursuit of possibilities others are too close-minded to accept!

Anyway, I have set myself this mission:

I have to find a really hot girlfriend who is intelligent, fun, adventurous, witty, sophisticated, and all the rest of it. To do so I have to print 100 leaflets explaining passionquest and detailing this goal, and give them to the 100 most beautiful girls I meet during the month. I figure that only 1% will reply…

Halfway through the month and I’m having trouble thinking of what the leaflet should actually say, so I’m looking for advice.

The best I can come up with is something like this.

[quote]My friends told me that only 1 in 100 girls would reply to this, so I printed 100 copies. I am giving one each to the one hundred most beautiful girls I meet this month, in the hope of finding my Miss Right.

Are you the one?
[/quote]

Or something like that. Maybe even get the printer to certify that only 100 copies were made.

Obviously it needs a bit more detail, but too much information will be offputting. Chinese too? One side for each language? Or only English so as to weed out the ones I can’t talk to?

Should I include a list of requirements? Or what?

:help: :help:

2

:hubba: Just send them all to me, Loretta! I’m the one! And I’ll be single again by the time they reach me! :howyoudoin:

3

You forgot. . .

[quote]
By the way, I have a really BIG . . .

black Mercedes. [/quote]

Good luck with your experiment. I’m sure you’ll get something out of it.

4

[quote=“Loretta”] My friends told me that only 1 in 100 girls would reply to this, so I printed 100 copies. I am giving one each to the one hundred most beautiful girls I meet this month, in the hope of finding my Miss Right.

Are you the one?
[/quote]

Hmmm. For starters, I am not sure I would want to be told I am just one of 100 women you are trying to pick up. I would rather feel that I am the special one - the one that you are really interested in - more than all the others. Maybe don’t even mention the number 100… it seems like a pretty big number…

…All women want to be desired…

Good lord, no!!!

For how offensive “requirement lists” are, please refer to the “Things to watch out for…” threads. “Requirements” (preferences?) are things you keep to yourself (or talk to your friends about, or discuss on forums). When assessing compatibility, you can find these things out through casual conversation.

“What do you think about LV? Oh, look, there is a Halo ad. Have you ever played it?”

Ok, so I am not very good at small talk or fishing for info, but you get the drift. Discussing it is much smoother than coming up and saying, “You must have these specifications to qualify.” I think even if I did have the specifications, I would be so turned off by it that I would turn on my heels and stride off.

Maybe it would be better to talk a bit about yourself. Why would I wanna date you? What makes you special?
Good luck.

5

[quote=“Mother Theresa”]You forgot. . .

[quote]
By the way, I have a really BIG . . .
[/quote][/quote]

But I haven’t.

Kage, thanks. I was thinking the same thing about the requirements. On the other hand, the problem is that I don’t want to be perceived as simply hitting on hot women. Need to be looking for something more than a nice pair of boobies.

The idea is that there must be someone out there who is all the wonderful things i want, plus also looks fabulous. (Other than Erhu, Buttercup, and the late great Notsu.)

There’s no good reason why lucky recipient X should be the one, as we’ve never met before. It seems a bit unlikely that I would be carrying around this leaflet on the off-chance of meeting a passing goddess who will make all my dreams come true. Have to present the idea of a search, without turning it into “hey babe, I have picked you out of all the thousands of girls out there 'cos you’re special, honestly”. In a way it’s a challenge to the ladies, so you’re right that I need to tell them something to make them at least curious to know more.

I think I’ll have a hidden webpage to direct them to. Would that help?

Target is local ladies this time. What would THEY think? I’ve been in Taiwan five years, and still haven’t found a decent local lass who is single. There must be at least one out there, for heaven’s sake!

6

Just tell them you have vouchers for that darling little sashimi place. They’ll come running.

Would you like me to write your copy for you?

7

Mate, I think the key question here is “Would the kind of girl I want to meet actually respond to something like this?” As fun as this idea is, my guess is that the woman you’re looking for won’t respond to this sort of thing.

I think you’re just going to have to do the work. I actually know of someone who would be great, but she’s taken, of course. Most of the good ones are. You’ll just have to keep up the carpe diem stuff and stay observant in the process.

Remember my friend Geoff, who had zero fear about meeting new people? That guy gets anything he wants, in any country he lives in, and he isn’t exactly Brad Pitt. He’s just so relaxed and fun that people can’t help but love him. You’re one of the more interesting people a woman might meet, and you stay interesting over time. I think that’s enough to attract a great one, if you do the work.

8

That’s the point.

You have to word your offering so as to get the maximum return. And the responses have to be suitable. You could simply hand out cards offering money for sex, and eventually you would get a reply. If that was what you wanted then you would have won. Or “email me and I’ll take you out for pizza” might get you a few dates under the guise of promoting a restaurant, if you chose to go that route. You can get a reply to virtually any message if you ask enough people and word your message appropriately.

My theory is that if you say the right thing then the right sort of person will have her curiosity piqued and will go take a look at whatever webpage you set up for her. Say the right thing there and you’re into an exchange of emails, which is her way of reassuring herself that you’re not a complete nutter before agreeing to meet.

Alternatively, the right message serves as a conversation piece.

Or, even more alternatively, she gives the leaflet to her friend who works for a newspaper and next thing you know all sorts of people you have never met are writing to you. It all depends on how you present yourself. Which is why I’m looking for advice.

I’m sure someone out there must know a Taiwanese woman that can give an opinion on what the right thing to say would be. Sadly, it seems that I don’t.

So what’s the key?
Outrageousness?
Hopelessly romantic?
Businesslike?

Take a look at this guy, whom I only found out about yesterday.

He started asking for dates anywhere in the world, in search of some poorly-defined goal, and found himself jetting around the globe to meet all sorts of wonderful women. Now he’s found his ‘one’ and has decided to take her on ‘the ultimate date’. :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

How many people do you think told him he wouldn’t get any meaningful responses?

I believe that it shouldn’t be necessary to scour the world in search of a decent woman. I’ve been around the world and they’re scattered pretty evenly across all the continents. There are millions of people in Taipei and if you look hard enough you should be able to find someone wonderful. But doing nothing isn’t going to work.

9

I enjoyed the are you my wife story. That was pretty awsome and it occurs to me that what made it so successfull was that all the women involved have something out of it. Cece gets to marry him, but all the women in all the different places have a memory of being part of something very original and exciting.

It’s doubtful that the women of Taipei will feel that way about being handed a flier by a foreigner dude. In fact, before watching that video on that dude’s web site, I was going to suggest, since you seem not to be interested in sending me 100 fliers, that you could consider at least folding them all into origami flowers. No list of requirements. One date with anyone is something you could live through, so no need for requisits at this point. Make it more exciting.

It does occur to me, though, that most local women might not have adequate English skills, you say you don’t have adequate Chinese skills for communicating with these women. Your target, then, is local women with good English. Most of these girls will likely have a “taste” for foreigner guys, plus for you, but will be harder to find just randomly on the street. Maybe you could try the English department of the Universities, after all, or call the China Post and ask them to do a story about passionquest and run your photo and contact info. This is different than a personal ad.

10

Exactly. You don’t want to be some foreigner dude looking for a shag. You want to be someone doing something original and exciting. In many of my classes (language school, not 1-1) I am the most cool and interesting person present. It’s no exaggeration to say that most of the students are there because they’re looking for a little excitement in their lives, something more than the usual mundane existence. It’s definitely not about learning English, that’s for sure. And the word that recurs time and again when talking to ALL my students is passion. It’s something they feel is lacking from their lives.

So I have 1-3 seconds to communicate to a total stranger, in a non-threatening way, that they have an opportunity to do something exciting. Just walking up to people is threatening, or embarrassing for them (as well as me) if they’re with friends. This is an approach intended to give people a moment to think without being under pressure.

That’s a good idea. You have to do something to make the flyer into something people will want to take. Keep them coming.

You’re right. Unless anyone has any other opinions.

Hmmmm, yes and no. It’s amazing how many people turn out to speak OK English once they dare to try. Or how quickly all that latent learning can be activated in people who just never had the chance to practise in the past. I’ve always cited lack of real ‘deep’ communication as a reason for not dating local women, but this experiment is about challenging myself. If the chemistry’s there then we will find a way. :sunglasses:

I disagree. In fact I specifically want to avoid the “I wanna date a foreigner cuz ur so cool!” crowd.

Hi, I’d like to try and take a few of your female students on dates. Can you introduce me? I have a feeling this won’t work. Also, I teach students of this age group but I don’t date them. There are reasons why and although I’m not precluding anyone on grounds of age or occupation I certainly don’t want to target immature irresponsible kids at the expense of ladies in the real world with jobs and independent lives and whatnot.

:laughing: Or try and get yourself in all the newspapers. There’s no reason why China Post or anyone else should run a story about ‘foreigner looking for a girlfriend’, that’s not new or interesting. I have to be seen to be making some effort, doing something risky, before I become newsworthy. Then that’s when the message gets out. There was a lady in Sydney a few years ago who took out a billboard ad looking for a husband. She didn’t get a lot of replies until the news services picked up on it and suddenly everyone in the world saw it.

So, what’s the message?
A forum the size of this one must include someone who can come up with something better than I can.

I’m getting PMs and phone calls about this, some from local ladies, by the way. But nobody has my answer yet.

11

[quote=“Loretta”]

:laughing: Or try and get yourself in all the newspapers. There’s no reason why China Post or anyone else should run a story about ‘foreigner looking for a girlfriend’, that’s not new or interesting. I have to be seen to be making some effort, doing something risky, before I become newsworthy. Then that’s when the message gets out. There was a lady in Sydney a few years ago who took out a billboard ad looking for a husband. She didn’t get a lot of replies until the news services picked up on it and suddenly everyone in the world saw it.

So make Passionquest more than just trying to find a date. Or make it seem that way. Make it more about encouraging everyone to find their passion. Make Passionquest something that a lot of people will want to be a part of. As you say, many students are looking for something, some kind of passion, in their lives. Your personal Passionquest goal is to find me, well okay, not me, some LOCAL goddess. But your students each have something they all are searching for. I was a very popular teacher as well because I was “cool” to my students. I was able to tap into that part of them that needed something more. I gave them friendship, a little excitement, a laugh or two, and some improved English skills, even though the English was simply an excuse to be a part of something.

Maybe your goal, like your, urm–mercedes, is still too small and you will find your answer when you look at the bigger picture.

12

Offer a spider relocation service.

I really do not give a crap how ‘interesting’ a boy is. I can read a book if I want interesting. The ONLY reason I would consider saddling myself with a ball and chain is to deal with my primordial fear of the eight legged monsters behind the wardrobe.

13

You have books at hand. Pick a bad, heavy book and throw it. If you hit the spider, and it doesn’t throw back, you’re good.

14

I think it’s in the wardrobe. I can’t sleep. :runaway: :cry:

15

(Sorry for talking shite in your thread, Loretta. This thing is really freaking me out, though. )

16

Well, thanks. But just for once could you resist the urge to treat everything I do as an invitation to you personally to talk shite?

This is important to me. If you don’t have anything useful to contribute then why not go and contribute it somewhere else?

17

[quote=“housecat”]So make Passionquest more than just trying to find a date. Or make it seem that way. Make it more about encouraging everyone to find their passion. Make Passionquest something that a lot of people will want to be a part of. As you say, many students are looking for something, some kind of passion, in their lives. Your personal Passionquest goal is to find me, well okay, not me, some LOCAL goddess. But your students each have something they all are searching for. I was a very popular teacher as well because I was “cool” to my students. I was able to tap into that part of them that needed something more. I gave them friendship, a little excitement, a laugh or two, and some improved English skills, even though the English was simply an excuse to be a part of something.

Maybe your goal, like your, urm–mercedes, is still too small and you will find your answer when you look at the bigger picture.[/quote]

Exactly. That’s the big message. I’m all about ‘doing something with your life’. I want to attract students who are responsive to that message.

The goal now is to get my shit together, build up a website that gets the big message out there, and get people to look at it.

The flyer is not a big part of it. It’s a challenge to myself. It’s a challenge to the girls I give it to. And it’s something people may talk about. If people talk about it then I get publicity for the big message. And more students, paying more money.

Eventually, you’ll stop talking about it and fly back to Taiwan to be my Goddess. Until then, I’ll try and kill two birds with one stone by doing something over-the-top to find a stand-in.

Incidentally, the single most popular lesson I teach to groups is the “what would you do…” activity I run based around the story of the girl on the motorbike. (See my OP for link) Romance, a quest for someone special, is something that Taiwanese people can identify with and respond too. It’s more interesting, relevant, and inspiring than “I can help you pass IELTS”.

The feedback from various students and friends is that if the message is right then an awful lot of girls would be touched by my search. The problem is to get the message right.

So, what’s the message that they can read in a few seconds that will get the point across with being threatening, creepy, sad, or otherwise off-putting?

18

[quote=“Loretta”]
So, what’s the message that they can read in a few seconds that will get the point across with being threatening, creepy, sad, or otherwise off-putting?
[/quote]“Studmuffin”

19

[quote=“Loretta”]
Well, thanks. But just for once could you resist the urge to treat everything I do as an invitation to you personally to talk shite?

This is important to me. If you don’t have anything useful to contribute then why not go and contribute it somewhere else?[/quote]

Rarr! OK, sailor.

20

Your message to the world kind of scares me, to be frank. Will the Taiwanese girls hold up as well?

Maybe it would just be better to chat with people and make new friends. And then meet their hot friends, over dinner. Meeting people in Taipei isn’t as easy as in other cities, I find, but it’s not impossible. I found my Taiwanese gf without a passionquest, clubs, bars, or whatever.

If you want a wayward tip, the English department for Shida university tends to have its orientation in Shida park at the beginning of the academic year between 6:30-8:30PM, and the English department for some other no-name university has it at the playground (wtf I know) down the street from that little shida park, on the T-intersection at Yunhe lane and shida road. You can generally spot these gatherings by the big numbers of students gathering around playing odd games. If you want to hunt for love, look here: English-speaking girls who want YOU!

It’s very coincidental, but I bumped into both of these orientations and took out their orientation officers to dinner (mainly because I was in that shida area alot at the time). Unfortunately the first two seemed to have tourette’s, and my buddies later caught the third making out with a series of random guys in some club, so it didn’t go anywhere. But these groups ate 90% girls and 100% approachable. afaik, tradition has it that this little strip is where the English departments go by tradition, or so the OAs said at dinner. The freshman might be a little young for you but those OAs are seniors. (heck how old are you, anyway?)