Next magazine

What do people think of Next magazine. Sure it’s a trashy tabloid, but isn’t it nice to see some form of media that isn’t kissing the ass of no-talent celebrities. Plus it’s pretty amusing at times. Anybody catch the article on Laowai Love a couple of weeks ago? Apparently ,its hip for women to go out with foreigners because they’re different, speak English and live life like their on vacation (to prove this, their is a picture of foreigners dancing at the 1998 spring scream). There is also a handy guide showing where diffent “species” of foreigners hang out - Tienmu McDonalds, TU (Thursday ladies night), Q bar (foreigners with money), and Room 18. Hey, its a hell of a lot better than Taipei Walker.

Phshaww! They sure got that one wrong, then – I go to Q Bar sometimes.
As for Spring Scream – Hey! That WAS my vacation!

What edition was the laowai love piece?

It’s in issue Number 11, the one with “xiao S” and Aya’s “sex orgy” (what a joke), page 74. It’s called Ai Loawai. Maybe it was some disgruntled foreigners who broke into their offices yesterday.

Yo. I dig Next Magazine. They teach you how to make 謠頭丸 in issue number 10. Also, the best place to get Chinese prostitutes is 下川island next to Hong Kong. I’ll go to Hong Kong next time for my visa runs. I need to massage my pinocchio in that hot tub. Yo.

pep, you are a yo-yo qiu. Actually, ‘yo’ was misused in ‘Rocky’, which takes place in Philthydelphia. ‘yo’ is more of a newyawk word. you use prostitutes? i don’t think so. -v

more details please on what species of foreigners goes to what bar, according to next magazine.
TU? i’ve been observing the patrons of that place for months and, despite all my biology, anthropology, etc. am as of yet unable to make a positive identification.

I don’t have the issue anymore. I seem to remember that it said eslite was a good place to meet Japanese and Hong Kongers, 45 and Roxy 99 for shida students, Room 18 for clean, well-dressed, good looking foreigners and the Tienmu McDonalds for overseas laborers. One other funny comment in the article was from a Taiwanese girl who said the foreign men at Spring Scream got uglier and uglier every year. ( I thought they had always been pretty ugly). She also had trouble hooking up until the last night, and after sex on the beach, the guy asked her if she wanted a language exchange. She said she replied, “no, how about a sex exchange instead.”

Oy, oy, oy. What’s the world coming to? Young people today… tut tut. Why, when I were a lad, we went to the beach to swim, collect interesting pieces of driftwood and sing jolly songs round a blazing fire.
All I can say is if I saw that kind of carrying on when I was at the beach, why, I’d give the young man a good clip round the ear and I’d turn the young floozy over and tan her bottom. Oooh, I’ll have to stop, me rheumaticks are acting up again.

Anyone see the latest issue of Next? On the cover, it says, “Laowai: Taiwan nuren mei pigu.” (Foreigners say Taiwanese babes ain’t got no back)

Looks like this topic is going to veer over towards the racism thread.

Stereotype #1: Foreigners all speak bad Chinese.

Stereotype #2: Foreigners are all alike and all think the same thing.

Could these be true?

Well, Next is funny… and I enjoyed the articke on foreigners in issue 11. Most Taiwanese girls I have met actually claims that it’s true.

And well… A lot of them don’t have an ass… But some do.

I think I’ll look into starting an import company. I’ll import excess ass from the States to Taiwan. We got plenty of it. Hell, I got plenty of extra ass my own damn self. I hope this doesn’t start a trend of padded booty extensions a la the padded bras that are so popular.
Just think. Some poor beautiful Taiwanese girl somewhere was already worried that her skin wasn’t white enough, she was too fat, her eyes weren’t big enough, she wasn’t tall enough, and her breasts weren’t big enough. Now thanks to Next she will probably start worrying that her ass is too small as well.

Does it come in english or do you bunch have chinese halfs that translate ?

No, there isn’t an English version of Next Magazine (It would be great if there was though). No offense eRm, but you should explore Taiwan more. It is full of great Taiwanese people who do not run bushibans (not that there aren’t perfectly fine people who do run bushibans… well, there has to be one or two) and foreigners who speak and read Chinese. I’m not saying that being able to speak Chinese is such a great thing, only that there is huge variety of people out there. I hope you don’t let your bad experience with that bushiban sour your taste for Taiwan or Taiwanese people. This can be a great place if you explore and work hard. Good luck.
All that being said, it would be great to have a friend or girlfriend who would just pick up Chinese books and read them aloud in English. It would be kind of like those people who read to the blind.

eRm poop…did it ever occur to you that some non-Chinese people may actually be able to read Chinese? God, you’re worse than the worst Taiwanese person, at least they have a reason to say something like that.



To you h0nkeys who read Next: I like the look of this slutty little mag (I hope you can say slut on this forum) and I want to try and read it to practice my Chinese (I struggled through some of the high-school girl net prostitute article and it was fun). Anyway, I’ve never realy read anything except textbooks and a couple of comics beofre, and I just can’t manage newspapers yet. What do you think of the difficulty level of Next?


I’d say its a great way to practice your Chinese reading ability. It’s pretty easy to read because the articles are written in colloquial Chinese. The only difficulty is that it has slang and ways of writing things that you won’t often see other places. You can quickly get used to that. It’s certainly easier than the newspaper.

I go into the 7-11 to look for my voopee cushion, all I see is ze Next Magazine, and I may speak 5 languages, but I can’t speak Chinese…vell, back into the pope mobile and drive me around, and look for my voopee cushion…my voopee cushion…

Did I tell you about the time I met vith the Dalai Lama and he vas such a little vascal? He took my voopie cushion vile I wasn’t looking and POOP! He sat on my voopie cushion without even asking me virst! That little vascal! He he he!

What is up with that stupid pope crap. Fu(k the pope and all pope imitators, I say! Anyway is Next magazine the one that advertises with all the eyes on butts, heads, etc.? What’s the difference between that and Taipei Wanker and TVBS? Do they have a personals section? That would be cool.