Come friendly bombs fall on Taipei,
It should not be allowed to stay.
Its buildings drab, its skys dark grey,
It looks like shit.
Come friendly bombs fall on Taoyuan,
So much improved it will be when,
It’s open farmland once again
And not a dump.
Come friendly bombs fall on Taizhong,
Its architechture’s really wrong,
And though it’s better than Kaohsiong,
That’s no excuse.
Come friendly bombs fall on Kaohsiung,
By now its time has been too long,
And ev’ryone will sing a song,
When it is flat.
To all of those who love Taiwan,
You must accept what’s to be done,
We must not be afraid to say,
The milit’ry’s the only way.
Not quite faithful to the rhyme structure of the original (Slough), but not bad for sitting in a hospital queue. Inspired by Ma’s plan to improve Taoyuan airport, which should really include flattening Taoyuan.