Options for getting out if China invades Taiwan

I’m just outside of Chiayi and am wondering what options I have for getting out of Taiwan if China invades. What thoughts or plans do others have in such an event?

Leaving a country where you’d be legally authorized to kill commies? Are you insane?

14 Likes

Click your heels together three times?

Look, if there’s a blockade then you’re not getting out without diplomatic help. On the other hand, an invasion won’t come from out of nowhere–military activity suggestive of invasion preparations will be visible to satellites and known to the whole world before it happens. So stay in touch with your embassy (assuming it’s one of the relatively competent ones) and see what they come up with. In the case of the USA they’ll have to airlift (I guess) multiple tens of thousands of their citizens.

1 Like

You’d be the last in line. The locals that invested in a second passport for their kid would get the first priority.

But in all seriousness, if you actually think hard about how an invasion of Taiwan proper would occur (if at all even possible) it’d be a long and slow process. The PLA would need to take Kinmen and Matsu first. The invasion of Taiwan would come last, probably almost a year after Kinmen and Matsu fall.

Take the main street out of town west.
When you hit the Taiwan Strait, walk 10-25km north.
Ask every clam fisherman you see, what his favorite color is.
The one who answers green, hand him NT$1000 in ten NT$100 bills, but only if he answers to the name of @mad_masala. He will lead you to a ship that will take you to Mindenao until the coast is clear.

Good luck!

7 Likes

Or else dump you overboard / sell you into slavery and pocket the money anyway.

1 Like

Swim?

I guess this is my cue to solicit recruits for the “Nixon-Carter Brigade.” (You know, like the Lincoln Brigade from the Spanish Civil War?)

Be Taiwan’s answer to Koos de la Rey! (Sure, he lost anyway, but he kept his dignity and inspired songs!)

I’m going to dye my hair black and try to look smart.

2 Likes

Don’t forget to study Xi Jinping Thought! (tl;dr: 1B1R / BRI, “rising China”)

6 Likes

to the Philippines

Don’t be a p*ssy.

We will fight them in the night markets. We will fight them in the temples. We will fight them in the NT500 all you can drink ladies nights, and we will never surrender.

20 Likes

Fast forward a couple of years, to President Han Guoyu signing a peace agreement making him the governor of the Chinese Taipei SAR.

2 Likes

from Linkou, the new capital and largest harbor now on the island

1 Like

The invading soldiers will be distracted by the myriad of claw machines. Not to worry.

15 Likes

https://youtu.be/MkTw3_PmKtc

I think if this ever happens the first thing most of us are going to do is delete our browser histories.

3 Likes

If China invades, you will have plenty of time as we will know about 2 months in advance. It’s impossible for China to mount a surprise invasion on a heavily fortified island with rugged terrain.

yeah but, nah but, they might be building a tunnel, coming out in the Raohe Street night market…

5 Likes