My only qualm with the kids sleeping with the parents is that they will become unable to sleep on their own later on. I also worry about the kid not being independent enough (my own personal degree I suppose). The fact that my son was incredibly independent at about 3 years of age got scary (as in I thought we’d gone too far) when he started staying over at his cousin’s house and we cried at home and missed him terribly and he didn’t miss us at all.
We cried on his first day of school too, saying, “We’re going now…ok? We’ll be back later, OK? Are you ok?”
I slept with my first until he was about six months old then he started waking up EVERY HOUR to nurse. We were both walking zombies and were usually to tired to really play. So I moved him to his crib and after a few rough nights it was fine. Now I just put him in his bed and he says “hao mama bye bye”! Now I’m sleeping with my 3 month old and trying to decide iif I should move her out now while shes still young or just sleep with her for the next couple of years
[quote=“piwackit”]I slept with my first until he was about six months old then he started waking up EVERY HOUR to nurse. We were both walking zombies and were usually to tired to really play. So I moved him to his crib and after a few rough nights it was fine. Now I just put him in his bed and he says “hao mama bye bye”! Now I’m sleeping with my 3 month old and trying to decide iif I should move her out now while shes still young or just sleep with her for the next couple of years
Angie[/quote]
Why not out? Seems to be ok for the other one.
My friends back in NY put their kids in their own room as infants…2-3 months old…and the kids slept through the night. Not a problemo.
:fume:
I think people read too much into the crying thing with babies. Yes, they need to be fed every 4 hours or so…but NOT every time they cry.
I think people read too much into the crying thing with babies. Yes, they need to be fed every 4 hours or so…but NOT every time they cry.
But try telling that to my wife. [/quote]
Professor Smith, please read at least ONE article about breastfeeding before you post again on the feeding subject
Sleeping in separate rooms increases the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). But you’re right, usually it’s not a problemo as most kids survive anyway.
Please do not assume “feeding” always means from the breast. My son never took to the boob. He was a bottle baby.
There are many monitoring devices that are available to warn parents against SIDS and other sleep disorders, no?
However, my experiences were the boy slept in our room for 2 years and woke up all the time and my wife fed him throughout the night. There’s no way I’d do that again.
SIDS is not exactly a sleep disorder, SIDS is when the baby just stops breathing - a quiet painless death. Sleeping close to parents stimulates the baby somehow and helps to prevent it. I have no idea, how. BTW, I’m not a professor yet.
You’re selfish.
EDIT: I didn’t realise before you were talking about 2-year-olds. Feeding a 2yearold at night is really bad for his/her teeth. I thought you were talking about a-few-month-old babies - they really might need to eat in every 2 hours or so - doesn’t matter if you breastfeed or use a bottle.
[quote]SIDS is not exactly a sleep disorder, SIDS is when the baby just stops breathing - a quiet painless death. Sleeping close to parents stimulates the baby somehow and helps to prevent it. I have no idea, how. BTW, I’m not a professor yet.
You’re selfish. [/quote]
There are monitors that will alarm if the baby’s breathing noise stops. Some friends of mine in the States had one.
Don’t get me wrong. Napping with a newborn is great. Having the boy sleep on my belly was the best feeling int the world. However, I roll and twitch a lot in bed, changing positions quite a few times, and have elbowed my wife in the head a several occasions. I’d prefer not explain how I broke my son while I was sleeping.
Call me shellfish.
edit: Oh sure now you edit! He/we stopped the nightly feedings shortly before his 2cd birthday. I was worried too about his teeth. No problem though. He’s got the best teeth in his class. No cavities at all.
[quote=“jdsmith”][quote]SIDS is not exactly a sleep disorder, SIDS is when the baby just stops breathing - a quiet painless death. Sleeping close to parents stimulates the baby somehow and helps to prevent it. I have no idea, how. BTW, I’m not a professor yet.
You’re selfish. [/quote]
There are monitors that will alarm if the baby’s breathing noise stops. Some friends of mine in the States had one.
Don’t get me wrong. Napping with a newborn is great. Having the boy sleep on my belly was the best feeling int the world. However, I roll and twitch a lot in bed, changing positions quite a few times, and have elbowed my wife in the head a several occasions. I’d prefer not explain how I broke my son while I was sleeping.
Call me shellfish.[/quote]
Nah, I wouldn’t trust my hubby either to be honest. And the first 6 months we slept in different countries anyway, so it was never much of a problem.
[quote]
Nah, I wouldn’t trust my hubby either to be honest. And the first 6 months we slept in different countries anyway, so it was never much of a problem.[/quote]
[quote=“jdsmith”][quote]
Nah, I wouldn’t trust my hubby either to be honest. And the first 6 months we slept in different countries anyway, so it was never much of a problem.[/quote]
Hmm, I sense a new thread.
[/quote]
Men-are-pigs-thread? Will we get a new forum for that?
If anyone wants it, I wrote an article on cosleeping and how to get them out ( ) when you are both ready. In it it also talks about that SIDS research. One of my girls actually stopped breathing in the night- and I woke up as she was right next to me, gave her a shake and she just came right.
As I said- we have two queen size beds in our house. My husband supports bedsharing but doesn’t sleep too well with it- and we all benefit from a better nights sleep if I just bed hop as required
Our two girls actually shared with me together for a year- and as studies have affirmed are incredibly loving and gentle with each other. It is meant to help reduce sibling rivalry. The oldest had slept independently before travelling, but the changes caused her to feel the need for extra comfort at night. A few months ago she moved into her own room, and now just comes in for the occaisioanl morning cuddle.
As for the next one- probably was an understatement. I need my little ones near me- I stress if they are too far away until they reach a certain age. He or she will be in my bed as long as needed - and as with the other two, I expect no problems with future sleeping.
JD- bottle feeding is quite a different thing- Children take a long time to digest formula and then generally sleep better at night- kudos to your wife for putting up with organising bottles for that length of time- I breastfeed for long periods (we are still feeding with the two year old before sleep) as I am probably a lazy mother who values sleep before almost anything else! it is the quickest way to get her tosleep. Recently she has not asked and instead I give her a quick cuddle. My favourite way to get her to sleep is to have her close her eyes while I speak gentle words of affirmation in her ear. Works like a charm. Then I slip off to read the next chapter of our current story with the 4 year old.
As for crying- I am not big on letting my kids cry. They just never really needed to. I think if you spend some time right at the beginning listening for cues and looking at your child you can find out what they need. That is one of the first things I ask anyone who cares for our children (not that that happens very often - what is your views on children being left to cry? - because if that is what is going to happen under their care I am not interested in having them care for my child.
As for the waking up frequently- if you are a working mother, or have lots of little kiddies, this increases the likelihood of frequent night wakings- they are just using that time to catch up with you that they missed during the day.
When I was pregnant, I was always pushing my husband about getting a crib. My baby had to have a place to sleep and there was NO WAY he was sleeping with us in our bed. I was not going to be an “earth mother!” I was in hospital with risk of premature delivery, and I told my husband there was not a chance that baby was coming out if we didn’t have a crib. We got a crib…
Baby is almost 10 months old and the crib is now in parts under our bed, along with the fancy crib bedding, bumpers, mobile, and so on. I did try to keep him in it. I was breastfeeding, and my nights were spent propped up in a chair, often falling asleep for a couple of hours at a time holding our son (not safe, I did actually drop him once), or peering into the crib waiting for signs that baby was hungry so he wouldn’t reach the screaming stage and wake up the neighborhood and leave me with guilt about his hunger. My husband finally said, why don’t you just bring him to bed with you to feed and then put him in the crib after that if you like? Well, I actually got sleep at night, my husband stopped waking up all the time and could function at work, and baby woke up happy every morning. So, there he is, in our bed, and all is well. I think as breastfeeding becomes more “popular”, more babies will be sleeping with parents, it just makes life so much easier for everyone. (I also have to say, I am really lazy, and bfeeding and cosleeping has cut out bottle washing, walks to the kitchen, and other middle-of-the-night distractions.) I am so thankful my husband was so positive about sleep sharing with his son.
I recently read that a lot SIDS research supporting use of a crib is sponsored by the Juvenile Products Manufacturer’s Association. It’s also interesting to consider how many cultures openly share bed space as a family, and the number of Western families who do so but are too embarrassed to admit it to their friends. It’s kind of like a secret society!
[quote=“asiababy”]my nights were spent propped up in a chair, often falling asleep for a couple of hours at a time holding our son (not safe, I did actually drop him once),
I am so thankful my husband was so positive about sleep sharing with his son.
Many cultures openly share bed space as a family, and the number of Western families who do so but are too embarrassed to admit it to their friends. It’s kind of like a secret society![/quote]
Ouch… you dropped you baby… I bet that shocked you a lot. I had to pop a boil on my sons arse when he was about 8 months old… I reckon I felt it more than he did poor fella.
My first wife wouldnt breast feed… fear of being seen doing something different…
I think most husbands would share the bed. I did with my son until he was around 2. It’s good to get a wakeup call from ya youngens.
To much paranoid people who fear the worst when people share a bed with their kids. To much politcal correctness… like nice words such as closure… after a death. Who dreams up these useless words… people who can’t express sorrow or remorse I reckon.
Funny asiababy,thats exactly how I started co-sleeping with my first. This time I just put her right in my bed and I’ve been sleeping great. This week I moved her to a pack and play right next to my bed. She sleeps at 6:30 has a feed before I go to sleep then sleeps until 6am! I’ve never been more rested.
Does your child have funny rituals before falling asleep? I guess we all have such rituals, but it’s amusing witnessing it in a child. Our girl usually goes out in a burst of energy. When she was a few months old she would push, push, push around the bed like a wheelbarrow, her head being the front wheel, her butt high up in the air and her legs pushing along. Then she went through a phase of rolling over and over and over before she’d conk out. Now that she’s an active walker and she’s learned to climb off the bed, I’ll lie on one side of the bed, she’ll slide off the other side, walk around the bed to my side, play with stuff on my nightstand till I pick her up and put her back on the bed, she’ll slide off the other side and we’ll repeat the cycle about 10 times. . . that is, unless I speed up the process by rocking her.
Rocking her to sleep is really strange. She’ll squirm, arch her back, whine, complain, grab her pacifier and throw it on the floor, use her legs to push away from my body, but I’ll persevere the best taht I can, rocking her with outstretched arms as she pushes away from me, probably for less than a minute each time. Then I’ll place her on the bed and she’ll immediatel roll to her side/stomach and lie there totally quiet and motionless – totally bizarre the instant shift from pure energy, kicking and complaining to immediate calm, but it happens every time. Sometimes, she’ll come to after a couple of minutes, sit up, slide off the bed and resume her active ritual. But I’ll then pick her up again, rock her, she’ll kick and pout, and the next time I place her down she’ll be out for good. Has anyone experienced anything comparable?
Incidentally, my wife is unable to rock her because she lacks the strength to hold the girl when she kicks and squirms.
- what is your views on children being left to cry? - because if that is what is going to happen under their care I am not interested in having them care for my child.