Oral sex is bad for you

:shock: Wow, Mom was right after all. Whoda thunk?

Oral Sex Linked to Mouth Cancer

hasn’t cervical cancer been linked to similar viruses?

yes, it has been linked to HPV before. I guess now they are finally putting two and two together and realizing that like HIV, HPV can be spread through oral sex and can do the same cellular damage as it does when contracted through oral sex. I expect it will take longer for them to come to the same conclusion with anal sex and colon cancer.

or nasal sex and nose cancer for that matter.

GULP! :shock:

Virginity works. :smiling_imp:

There have been news stories about an experimental vaccine which provides 100% protection against HPV-16, which causes half of cervical cancers. Still in testing, unfortunately, and it only works for uninfected women, and only for that strain. (Actually, it might work for men, too – but they have only studied it in women so far.)
womens-health.jwatch.org/cgi/con … 2003/108/1

Still, the next generation may not have to worry about HPV or cervical/oral/penile cancer. At least not nearly as much.

There may also be a herpes vaccine in the works, which seems to protect women only. (But if women can’t get it, straight men won’t get it either.) Again, only works if the women aren’t already infected.

Breathing causes lung cancer!
Eating causes stomach cancer!
Drinking causes bladder cancer!
Sex causes testicle cancer!
Having fun causes heart disease!
Where does it end?
You WILL die :frowning:

“This just in! Researchers have found that saliva causes stomach cancer. But only if swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.”

George Carlin

Sharks don’t get cancer, so I only have oral sex with sharks.

That explains your inability to recognize my former avatar as the innocent and adorable sea creature that it was. :slight_smile:


I hope I can still collect on all the oral sex my man owes me.

This guy goes into a hospital to check in on his wife, who’s in a coma. They’ve tried everything and she still won’t revive. So the doctor pulls the husband aside and whispers, “There’s still a chance to pull her out of the coma. This sounds like a crazy idea, but why don’t you try stimulating her with oral sex.”

The guy says, “That sounds a little far-fetched, but why not? Sure. OK, let’s give it a try.”

They pull back the curtains and leave the couple in privacy, and sit back and monitor her heart rate. After a few minutes, she starts flatlining! The doctors rush back into the room and find the husband zipping his pants back up.

“Doc, it’s not gonna work, she keeps choking!”