# Parents and their children…the changing relationships (Taiwan examples) **URL:** \ **Category:** Parenting\ **Created:** [August 25, 2026, 10:17am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249 "2026-08-25T10:17:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flakman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/flakman/32/135214_2.png) [@Flakman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Flakman)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2026, 10:17am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/1 "2026-08-25T10:17:28Z")
Being an old person over the years I have heard many stories about friends’ and acquaintances’ family issues. Most stories focus on parents’ relationship with their children. I find most stories in Taiwan fascinating as my own experience growing up was so very much different…but that is usually because my family did not have much money. If you have enough money to support children for life then more power to you. Here I share a few of the more interesting that I have heard. **Case 1: Perpetual sponsorship** A couple has one son, Bobby. As he was growing up his mother helped him with his schoolwork. Father says was more like Bobby’s mother was doing his homework for him. This continued from grade school onto college….with the mother even calling Bobby everyday from overseas while she was on business trips to help with schoolwork. When Bobby attended overnight school trips the parent accompanied him as they would worry about him. After Bobby graduated, the father helped him find a job at a furniture store doing sales. Bobby’s biggest customer was his father who replaced all of their home’s furniture as well as their relatives’ furniture. Job lasted about a year at which point Bobby just started staying at home during the day to play video games. Bobby uses his father’s credit card to buy three meals a day using Food Panda. Now thirty years old Bobby asked his father how long they would support him. Father replied that their money was Bobby’s money. Bobby is on his way this week to Japan for vacation…with NT$100,000 in pocket given to him by father. When asked by friends their thinking of this situation the parents’ reply was that “this is good as then no need for him to go out everyday which is troublesome.” **Case 2 The boys and the girlfriend** Jack and Billy, ages 32 and 30, are two sons living at home with their parents. When Jack was 17 he brought his girlfriend home with him and announced that his girlfriend would be living with them as she had some family trouble with her mother. The girlfriend was 19 years old. Since the boys were small children the mother every morning asked the boys what they wanted to eat for lunch and dinner. She cleaned their room, washed their clothes, etc. never requesting any help. Every morning she would go to their room begging them to get up and go to school…going into their room three or four times every morning. She visited her blind mother every morning about an hour away and worked in the afternoon….but made time to go home to cook their preferred lunch and dinner at night. I told her she could allow the sons to handle their own lunch…even if meant going to 7/11. She claimed that was too dangerous (even when they were in high school). I told her she could buy an alarm clock to let the sons learn to get up by themselves….that lasted about a week and she went back to begging them again to get up. Her reasoning was that as long as she had the ability to do something for them she would do so…no need for them to worry about doing something. I asked the father how long he would support the boys financially. He said until they do their military service. The boys then obtained doctor’s note saying the boys were ill and could not do military service. The sons finally found part time work and the mother continues to support them financially. The father’s business suffered financial difficulty then the father became very ill with major operation to save his life. He even planned to skip a second needed operation as did not have enough money. A friend lent money to him…basically saving his life. Meanwhile, the two boys and the girlfriend do not save any money from their jobs. They spend all their money on skiing trips to Japan. The three of them once planned to move out of the house but changed their mind when saw they needed to spend their money on basic items like bedding. So now the three have no plans to move out. Three meals a day provided. Rooms cleaned by father every way. Clothes washed every day. **Case 3 Living the good life** Jack and Molly’s mother is separated from her husband who could not tolerate his wife’s methods of raising Jack and Molly. Whatever the two kids requested the mother delivered….especially with regards to personal items like music equipment, clothes, etc. always buying the most expensive. The boy started trying to skip school so mother would call him from work every morning several times begging him to get out of bed. The boy started college but did not finish. Unconfirmed rumor is that the son was kicked out of military service as he was so uncooperative the officer in charge of him basically requested to release him from service requirement. The son decided he wanted to live abroad. Mother supported him financially to live overseas. After a few years the son decided to become an architect so applied to a school overseas. Mother arranged a company doing business with her to help her son with a project to serve as his application to school. He was accepted. While in school the same company helped Jack with his homework every year. After graduation he found an internship position overseas. Mother continued supporting him financially. Jack flew around world to attend friends’ wedding and events. When mother retired from work the son returned from overseas. ---
**Author:** ![DKaoshuing](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/dkaoshuing/32/127142_2.png) [@DKaoshuing](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/DKaoshuing)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2026, 11:30am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/2 "2026-08-25T11:30:49Z")
Conclusion is Generation now is not as hard working (many, not all) as no need to work hard (working hard generates low wages for youth). Many are very conservative in life, letting parents/ boss/ leader make choices. ---
**Author:** ![cjasonc](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@cjasonc](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/cjasonc)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2026, 11:57am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/3 "2026-08-25T11:57:29Z")
I’ve got a lot of “nephews” exactly like this, but in some cases it’s quite nerve wracking because those shits will soon be in positions of power. One will more than likely be voted into government later this year, but this particular one has been calling me “uncle” for at least two decades so I’m somewhat lucky! 🍀 ---
**Author:** ![ExpatDad](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/expatdad/32/275427_2.png) [@ExpatDad](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/ExpatDad)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2026, 1:01pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/4 "2026-08-25T13:01:00Z")
Confucius was wise when he said that filial piety ( _xiao_ (孝)) was at the root of social harmony. Hopefully those who procreate and have stronger parent/children relationships will keep this practice alive and wait out the failed social experiment that is gen z. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Flakman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/flakman/32/135214_2.png) [@Flakman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Flakman)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2026, 1:09pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/5 "2026-08-25T13:09:25Z")
> [@ExpatDad](#): > > Hopefully those who procreate and have stronger parent/children relationships will keep this practice alive and wait out the failed social experiment that is gen z. Case 2 above really pissed me off…but then again the father has fallen into line supporting the wife’s directions. He basically was going to forego a life saving operation as he did not want to somehow impact his kids’ “quality of life” by perhaps making a financial decision which would impact them. I was so sad to hear that. Kids would not help out financially…and wife finally thought she could help by getting her brother to pay back money she lent to him. The father was like at the bottom of his family’s priorities. I offered to help but another friend stepped in to help. ---
**Author:** ![Quesito](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Quesito](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Quesito)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2026, 3:18pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/6 "2026-08-25T15:18:24Z")
They raised the boys like little princess, and girls like bastards ---
**Author:** ![Brianjones](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@Brianjones](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Brianjones)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2026, 11:30pm UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/7 "2026-08-25T23:30:11Z")
It’s called codependency . A lot of mothers do it for their kids and sons especially, but not only mothers as you pointed out above. Another term is ‘failure to launch’. As it gets harder and harder to actually launch in the modern world , along with not launching being less of big deal when property and assets get funnelled to less and less progeny, then failure to launch becomes an easier proposition. By the time they reach 30 something it gets even harder to launch cos who wants to deal with you ? Examples I know **Rose** Studied in China , studied in Hawaii and tried to get an American bf to sponsor visa, failed, kicked out back to Taiwan. Held a series of short term positions in local companies. Managed to convince bunch of male friends to give her money for deposit for expense property. No sure how sure she paid the mortgage but she got a good deal in Xinbei property back in the day so she did launch in one way! Maybe holds down a job these days. Father is a retired stock investor with property . All adults kids lived at home, older brother played video games and dabbled in 'options, like father. **Jane** Father owns a shoe importer company in boondocks. Spent 8-10 years in America continuing to fail different uni courses and trying to get visa. Father paid for everything. Older brother inherited running of shoe company with sister , sister argued with brother. Brother is arrogant but both of them ran it into ground as heyday was 80s and 90s. Family made money in China early property investments so doesn’t matter, they still have some money. Last heard selling jewellery in markets and then working for local company for 30k/mth,. No bf/partner. **Judy** Studied with my wife, moved back down south and lives in family home ever since. Works for local chemical company. Family provide full room and board. No known boyfriend or girlfriend ever but goes on multiple 'study overseas ’ trips a year. Spends all money on that. The other slightly strange ones I know are the early retirements of women at 50 especially when they were the most capable people and still doing well in their career , although they may be the smart ones, I think partly health related too. I have some interesting stories about them . One of them never moved out because of property prices in Taipe and looking after parents i (I know she looked bit fair enough prices are ridiculous). Both no known partner in my entire time I knew them but certainly not unpleasant or ugly people. Many examples above were my wife’s classmates, of course plenty got married and ultimately settled down independently too, but many were funded by their (weathier) families. Anyway there’s a lot of people living off their family here, it’s just a normal part of the culture as it developed here , and it seems to work out ok for many of them, certainly an easier path than many of us took. Some poorer families remain living together by necessity also, property prices and cost of living and precarious nature of some jobs being what they are. **Korean example (not really typical but I guess every case is different)** [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/hBvykuL0k3U/maxresdefault.jpg "How She Saves More After Quitting Her Full-Time Job In Seoul | Money Mind") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBvykuL0k3U) ---
**Author:** ![Kalle](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@Kalle](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Kalle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 2:47am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/8 "2026-08-26T02:47:52Z")
A former business partner of me, decided it was time for her 20 something year old daughter to gain some independence by moving abroad to study….. Sounds good doesn’t it? However, the mother actually joined her daughter to Boston, and lived with her there to prepare her meals and all practical issues for her daughter to fully focus on her studies 🤦‍♂️ ---
**Author:** ![Kalle](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@Kalle](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Kalle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 2:51am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/9 "2026-08-26T02:51:38Z")
Gen X growing up…. Parents hides the key under the front door carpet as their 9 year old can of course handle himself Gen Z growing up…. Parents call in sick from work, as their 17 year old is home from school so they need to stay home with him to feed him Added: a bit off topic as not a real example… ---
**Author:** ![Brianjones](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@Brianjones](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Brianjones)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 3:16am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/10 "2026-08-26T03:16:32Z")
> [@Kalle](#): > > However, the mother actually joined her daughter to Boston, and lived with her there to prepare her meals and all practical issues for her daughter to fully focus on her studies Haha that’s quite common, daddy pays for all of it what a great deal. Loads of sappy daddy’s paying for family in other countries working their arse off for 4 decades . ---
**Author:** ![jimbob132](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@jimbob132](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/jimbob132)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 3:56am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/11 "2026-08-26T03:56:40Z")
Many of my co-workers in the states support their parents, but I noticed it’s mostly Indian families and those from China (or maybe because I work in tech where half the people are Indians or Chinese). ---
**Author:** ![cdn1234](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/cdn1234/32/202817_2.png) [@cdn1234](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/cdn1234)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 4:25am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/12 "2026-08-26T04:25:51Z")
> [@Kalle](#): > > Gen Z growing up…. Parents call in sick from work, as their 17 year old is home from school so they need to stay home with him to feed him I don’t know what gen z you’re talking about, but that has not been my experience or the experience of most of my friends… Forum really not beating the old allegations 📣📣📣 ---
**Author:** ![Flakman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/flakman/32/135214_2.png) [@Flakman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Flakman)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 9:01am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/13 "2026-08-26T09:01:23Z")
> [@Kalle](#): > > Gen Z growing up…. Parents call in sick from work, as their 17 year old is home from school so they need to stay home with him to feed him Oh my…I have many of these types of stories. Mother calls HR department a few days after her kid starts new job. Mother says she now thinks the company is too far from her house…even though company provides bus transport to and from company (Neihu to Xizhi). Kid quits. Mother calls HR department one day after her kid starts new job. Mother says fortune teller thinks the company’s name might not be compatible with her kid…so kid will quit. Parents wanting to accompany child on interviews. Parent walking their child to company provided transportation bus stop to make sure child is okay. Have a friend whose kid has never washed a dish or done any type of simple task around the house. This kid was at a gathering and was asked to light candles on a cake…she could not as never was allowed to be near the stove at home or any cigarette lighter. These types of kids arrived at my old company only to destroy the microwave as would put in their metal lunch box (made by mom of course). ---
**Author:** ![eldrich](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@eldrich](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/eldrich)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 9:18am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/14 "2026-08-26T09:18:44Z")
Also know a teen who left to Uni in Australia, mother moved with her daughter to ‘look after the daughter’ while she is there so she doesn’t need to worry about cooking/cleaning etc etc and concentrate on study. Other daughter and husband are here with daughter #2 scheduled to join the ‘female’ side of the family in Aus next year. Crazy way to live, the kids will never be able to live independently. ---
**Author:** ![Kalle](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@Kalle](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Kalle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 9:38am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/15 "2026-08-26T09:38:59Z")
> [@Flakman](#): > > Mother calls HR department It reminds me… A friend who worked as CTO at a multi-national company here in Taiwan got a call from a mother, asking him to help her son to get a job. The son didn’t have any education but he spoke Chinese so the mother thought he could be of great help to the company My friend responded that we have 23 million people here in Taiwan speaking Chinese and a billion more across the strait so speaking Chinese was not really a rare skill :rofl: If the son can’t even call himself and instead letting his mother do the talking, I think it would be better to hire the mother than the son :rofl: ---
**Author:** ![Kalle](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@Kalle](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Kalle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 9:44am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/16 "2026-08-26T09:44:25Z")
> [@cdn1234](#): > > I don’t know what gen z you’re talking about, but that has not been my experience or the experience of most of my friends Stereotypes are of course not all, I have had good millennial’s working for me and some promising Gen Z, but several have been strawberries sadly, who have not lasted long time before moving on. Maybe I have been unlucky ---
**Author:** ![Flakman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/flakman/32/135214_2.png) [@Flakman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Flakman)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 10:11am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/17 "2026-08-26T10:11:49Z")
> [@Kalle](#): > > If the son can’t even call himself and instead letting his mother do the talking, I think it would be better to hire the mother than the son At my old company manager were constantly fending off mothers and fathers asking them about jobs for their kids. The parents would ask all their friends…who then would pass names of managers to them. I am okay with parents trying to help kids find a job…too many were pushy and did not care if their kid was actually suitable for the job…and were the types who would call the company to complain their child was working too hard. ---
**Author:** ![Flakman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/flakman/32/135214_2.png) [@Flakman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Flakman)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2026, 10:19am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/18 "2026-08-26T10:19:04Z")
Case 4 Carrie, a 58 year old lawyer, living at home with parents. Too busy managing her three boyfriends to spend much time at home…especially on weekend. Parents had weekly dinner for parents and their children planned on Sunday night which Carrie had not attended for years. When mother became seriously ill Carrie refused to visit her in hospital because Carrie’s fortune teller told her to avoid hospitals and doctors. Carrie’s sister finally called Carrie’s friend to say family was basically begging her to visit mother before she died as mother was very sad to not see her. So after six months of mother in hospital in serious condition Carrie visited her mother. After mother died father began complaining to Carrie about her not cleaning up her own room. Carrie scolder her father and told him “I hope you die soon.” ---
**Author:** ![Flakman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/flakman/32/135214_2.png) [@Flakman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Flakman)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2026, 10:41am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/19 "2026-09-13T10:41:34Z")
Case 5: Growing up the daughter was never denied any request. She used to say “Baba, I love you.” However, now she is in university and father sometimes thinks she is spending too lavishly…so he will try to tell her no. The mother then tells him “You do not love your daughter.” So now the daughter is following her mother and now tells him “I do not love you anymore” whenever he tries to tell her no. He just spend NT$2,000,000 for her to spend two months overseas learning a language. She insisted to fly first class (also declaring dad didn’t love her for trying to not let her fly first class). She was overseas a couple of weeks when a thief broke into her apartment and stole two necklaces. She said was too scared to move back or into another apartment so she stayed at a hotel for 6 weeks at NT$10,000/night. The father owns a small company and is doing okay financially…but is not rich and the weight of raising this daughter is wearing him down. ---
**Author:** ![RickRoll](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/rickroll/32/180921_2.png) [@RickRoll](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/RickRoll)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 10:27am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249/20 "2026-09-14T10:27:12Z")
That kind of love isn’t really love… [Next page](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/parents-and-their-children-the-changing-relationships-taiwan-examples/259249.md?page=2)