Ok, here is the thing. My girlfriend (future wife) has two sisters. One of them has hated me since she met me; the other has recently started hating me. I have no idea why. Her parents like me, which my girlfriend says is all I need. I should point out that both sisters speak English, but the parents dont.
Anyone else have a similar problem? If so, what did you do?
I hate the situation because I see in the future this conversation:
“Mommy, why dont we see aunt ____”.
“Because your aunt and father hate each other.”
There could be many reasons why they feel this way. Envy (of their sister), jealousy (of you or her), the fact that you’re a foreigner (perhaps they had a bad experience with one before - or simply heard stories of bad experiences) or something utterly illogical.
More likely than not, they’ll get over it. Just be friendly and open towards them and let things go on with no fault on your side. You intend to marry this girl, so don’t give her siblings any fuel for their fires. Just be yourself.
I’ve never had this experience, but I’ve had Taiwanese friends who had the same sort of problems before they got married (with their Taiwanese partners). All told, after they got married things smoothed themselves out.
Perhaps they aren’t sure if your intentions are indeed genuine and are just giving you a hard time to “test” you.
I’m sure they’ll come around. Don’t worry about it too much.
When my then future wife and I were first dating, her older sister was CONSTANTLY telling her to be careful–don’t trust foreigners, etc. That lasted until we got engaged, and she’s been fine with me ever since. She’s now a good aunt to our kids, although they usually run and hide when she’s around . I don’t think she had anything against me personally, she was just very conservative and did not want her sister to get hurt. Don’t know the cause of the dislike in your case, so YMMV.
My gf and I figure that the older sister doesn’t like me out of jealousy (she doesn’t have a bf and I had a better job than her in Taiwan, right off the boat). As for the younger sister, we really don’t have any idea. She is a bit immature though. Thankful she is away at school, so I only see her once a week.
About the violence, I have no need to worry about dying in my sleep from my gf’s sisters. They show the hate by giving me the silent treatment. When her older sister was in Taiwan (she is overseas studying now) you could cut the tension between us with a knife. The problem was added by the fact that we saw each other almost everyday.
Also I know that they don’t like me much, because when my gf argues with them, I get blamed for “changing” her.
I hope that things will get better after the marriage, as some of you have said. Things might also get better when they find a bf.
Thanks for your messages; I figure that I am most annoyed by this since my family all likes my gf, so there isn’t the same issue on that side.
My youngest brother introduced me to his girlfriend this week. I loved her. She is awesome. Sexy, smart, well read, overall a great chick. And I love the way they look at each other. After I told him she was great he told me he was very nervous about what I thought because he was waiting for my approval to buy a ring. (Which makes me giddy… the buying the ring part. not the waiting on my approval.)
Thing is that with as huge as my family is, he has already been able to see how family can end a marriage. It works just like that in my family. If the family doesn’t love him/ her the marriage doesn’t last.
So I don’t know what to tell you. But you gotta find a way to fix it with the family. Cuz family is always the most important.
. I don’t think she had anything against me personally, she was just very conservative and did not want her sister to get hurt. Don’t know the cause of the dislike in your case, so YMMV.