Ok, I sound ungrateful, but my mum drives me round the bend with her constant communication needs. Almost every day she calls, or msns, or texts me. Aside from the enormous bills I run up having ‘the same conversation every goddamn day,’ it is such a drain on my time. I reckon I spend on average 5 hours a week talking to my mum. When I lived in Enlgand we wouldn’t talk for weeks at a time. Now I’m 1000’s of miles away she wants to be my best friend.
It’s too much, and its too repetitive. But she is my mum, so I’ll just rant to strangers instead of telling her to let me lead my life. 
Anyone else in this boat?
Yeah, my mother and I communicate a lot more now than when I was living a couple of hours down the road from her. I think this is as much due to improvements in technology as anything else - Skype and Gmail chat make things so much easier - when I first moved here we spoke once every few months just to check we were both still living. Even now though we don’t talk as often as you mentioned, but then my mum never has been the cotton-wool type.
err dude once she has shuffled off this mortal coil you will treasure those moments.
I talk with my mother 3 or 4 times a week. She is smarter than me and has many more years of business and academic experience, so I often ask her to clarify issues for me. I should be paying her a retainer eheheheheheh. That is the great thing about family – they are cheap. 
So I should respect her ‘neediness’ cos one day she will be dead? I don’t buy that. To be honest, it puts more of a strain on our relationship that she won’t stop bugging me. I just spent 2 full weeks with her in my pocket, showing her Taiwan, and since then it’s got worse.
“Are you sitting at your desk talking to me? I can imagine… How is your friend ‘X?’ How is MrsHill’s mum?” It’s getting a bit intense.
I mean, come on, sometimes it’s a call a day. And she knows I am at work, but still calls the phone. The moment she wakes up the computer goes on. “You there? You there?” Then the phone rings if I don’t answer the msn, or the text’s start coming in. “Morning. How’s the weather? How’s your day?” It’s just plain invasive.
I will be glad when I go home and then she will start ingoring me again.
I’m not ungrateful that she cares, but I am ungrateful that she wants to be in my life so much.
For me it’s once a week for about ten minutes.
Let’s tell Tom’s Ma about Skype then he won’t be able to use the expense excuse to hang up. 
[quote=“almas john”]For me it’s once a week for about ten minutes.
Let’s tell Tom’s Ma about Skype then he won’t be able to use the expense excuse to hang up. [/quote]
You B@stard!
whoah, calm down. just offering another side. no you shouldnt just take it coz she will die one day BUT if it pisses you off enough to seek advice here then say something to her. dont let it fester.
there must be more to it then her just bugging you. why is the first thing she does in the morning is to turn on the computer and find you, call you etc? surely its not just motherly concern. sounds like there is something else there? has she been ill etc etc.
Tough love, Tommy boy. That’s what you need. Turn off your phone. Set your online status to “hidden,” etc. When she complains give her a white lie. “There’s a new scam going around mum. I’ve been getting scam calls every 10 minutes, so the phone has to be off unless I’m using it. Plus, they’ve found a way to hack into computers through MSN, so that’s off-limits too. Anyway, I’ll be seeing you in a couple of weeks in any case.”
Tom- sounds like you are being stalked by your mother.
I hope she joins forumosa.
We should have a mutha’s open day.
[quote=“Truant”]I hope she joins forumosa.
We should have a mutha’s open day.[/quote]
Oh man, that’s a GREAT idea! Who knows TomHill’s mother’s email address? Remember when Ironman’s mama started looking at his posts?
My Dad’s been the same lately. I don’t think there are any underlying reasons other than it has become cheaper and more convenient to communicate across the miles. Last night I listened to how my father fixed his washing machine and how much spare parts for a stove are. Tom, I kind of know how you feel. It’s not easy to tell your parents you’re not interested in their day to day activities.
AWOL, sorry that wasn’t really being aimed directly at you. Just still mad cos I spent the last 40 mins having the same chat we had yesterday and Tuesday and Monday… on so on ad infinitum.
Is it worse to just tell her to give me a break, or to rant behind her back?
I sometimes get depressed if I talk to my parents too much about non-work related matters. For the past two weeks, for example, there have been minor family reunion celebrations in Hawaii. While I work my ass off in Taiwan, when I call her to ask her opinion on a work-related question, I have to listen to their stories about laying on the beach,boogeyboarding and surfing, shopping, and taking it easy :fume:
Tom, if your mom is boring you, tell her to take up lawn bowling. Isn’t that what seniors do in the UK?
[quote=“Chewycorns”]I sometimes get depressed if I talk to my parents too much about non-work related matters. For the past two weeks, for example, there have been minor family reunion celebration in Hawaii. While I work my ass off in Taiwan, when I call her to ask her opinion on a work-related question, I have to listen to their stories about laying on the beach,boogeyboarding and surfing, shopping, and taking it easy :fume:
Tom, if your mom is boring you, tell her to take up lawn bowling. Isn’t that what seniors do in the UK?[/quote]
She retires in 6 months! Aaargh.
Tom, I would give anything to speak with my mother once more. She died, gosh, 10 years ago and I still miss her terribly.
My advice is cut back on answering her. She’ll understand; it’s her job.
I call my grandmother on average every three weeks. It works fine for us.
Tom sounds like I have a similar relationship with my mum but fortunately she isn’t online and I haven’t given her my home number (just my cellphone). I call her once a week and use the line about it being much cheaper for me to call her than vice versa…may not be true but it seems to work.
Yes the calls are tedious but I also take the view that this way we both know the other one is OK, and 10 minutes is about my limit.
I talk to my folks at least once every couple of weeks. If anything, they’re busier than I am! I always enjoy our conversations. They’re usually brief, but the love is there. 
I am SUCH a mama’s baby. It is not even funny. But I have the psychic jew mom. Which drives me crazy.
She called me the other day and chewed me out for smoking. I don’t lie to her so I didn’t deny it, but I asked her how she knew. I quit smoking over three years ago. I have NO IDEA how she knew I had started smoking again. She just said “A mother knows”.
The woman is creepy like that.
I have gotten drunk (or even had one drink) twice in three years. Last time was last Saturday. She called and I didn’t answer. She leaves the message “Just because your drunk doesn’t mean you can’t talk to your mother”.
Shhhhesh.
But it works out well too. When I found out about my ex (those who know know, those who don’t don’t need to) she called me within an hour. I needed her badly. So it was good.
So to answer your question, my mom and I talk all the freaking time. And I love it.
When I live in the same area as her, we don’t talk. So I always need to make sure my house is at least 30 minutes away.