Partners having affairs - a common practice among Taiwanese?

Any form of sex would be considered intimate?

I didn’t know that was common. What kind of lies?

I think most people would agree that kissing is considered cheating.

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Maybe bragging? Happens a lot with many I talk to here. Even my realtor, banker etc will exaggerate their wealth and accomplishments.

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Affairs are a Gen X thing. Maybe older millennials.

Gen Z’s are taught consent from a young age. They obtain consent to be in open or polyamorous relationships in the first place, thus eliminating the need for infidelity, dishonesty, and secrecy.

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Wikipedia says “An affair is a sexual relationship, romantic friendship, or passionate attachment”

So it seems as long as no sex or romance involved that it’s okay. So if you have a hiking partner who likes to do hot spring in a private suite afterwards and then lie in bed naked watching TV (but no sex), then it’s not an affair. Holding hands is okay, but cuddling is not (passionate attachment).

I think a wife would consider a kiss intimate, but that’s not “sex”

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Sometimes useless stuff but also about their own relationships and plans

They just all say things that don’t add up, I can’t think of a specific example but a lot of it is just not worth lying about

If there is kissing then there is probably romance. Nobody likes to put their tongue into the mouth of another person if they don’t have feelings for them.

I would not classify this as an affair. Just two friends being naked in the same room. Although most people probably wouldn’t like for their partner to lie in bed naked with someone else.

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Yeah I think kissing would fall under Wikipedia’s definition of “passionate attachment”

Maybe holding hands is also considered a grey area for passionate attachment (unless it involves two females and the partner is a male).

It sounds like your girlfriend at the time was just the insecure jealous type.

One girl I dated a few years ago used to go clubbing and drinking with her friends without me because I don’t enjoy that. She even asked my permission, which I thought was weird and unnecessary.

Sometimes it was with a group of girls, other times it was with one guy or one girl. One time she even kissed a female friend. She isn’t into women so it didn’t bother me. Although I don’t think I would have been ok with her kissing a male friend.

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All those love motels can’t just be for young people that don’t have their own place. And prostitutes!

It’s crazy how many there are, all over the place. That said, I was feeling like having a nice hot soak in a jacuzzi last week and considered trying the local “motel” to see what options they have :sweat_smile:

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One time i stayed in a love hotel because i got locked out of my apartment. That hotel room had a Gynecology Chair. Such places are full of surprises.

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Very common in love motels in Taiwan!

Plans aren’t always good, logical plans and can not add up without being lies.

Especially if it is kissing the pink parts! :clown_face: :cowboy_hat_face:

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True. Those are the best parts.

Like so many things, one needs to actually have a trusting relationship that allows open conversation of one’s thoughts. Even if they are opposing views. Not unlike forums or any other type of communication.

What the government, private eye, or the internet thinks what is “intimate” is quite irrelevant if one’s partner feels the actions are intimate then they are. Based on their personal “contract” (to be fair, loads of people dont have “contracts” becahse they are afraid to actually disccuss things hienstly withiut punishment). One can judge and adjust based on their life, and also based on social norms. As we do. But quite frankly, if a person makes the conscious choice to betray their partner in ways they previously have discussed is a no go zone, that is cheating. Doesn’t matter if it’s sex, money, raising kids, friendships or otherwise.

That said, cheating is par for the course here. Perhaps elsewhere as well. But lies are really a normal thing in Taiwan, which is insanely disheartening. Not just with romantic couples, but family units, friends, business and basically every aspect of life in taiwna is filled with lies. Some might call them disingenuous/white lies/other justification. It causes so much wasted bandwidth, the inability to be honest; accept honesty, and move on to crush whatever the situation is because we all want to get ahead in any given endeavor.

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I have been a little shocked at how many cases of affairs my wife and I have heard about among people we know.
Among the many cases the most disturbing has been the case of a woman cheating on her husband with a married man. Her husband divorces her but she never tells her parents or children they are divorced. The husband just doesn’t say much to anyone and is away in the military. The guy dies and everyone thinks nothing is wrong when the ex-wife handles the funeral. People at the funeral do wonder why one woman they don’t know is so sad and crying (the guy’s girlfriend). (sidenote: This woman told her military husband while they were married that if he ever moved back to her house to live with her and her daughters she would divorce him.) Meanwhile, she continues openly dating her married boyfriend. The boyfriend’s wife kills herself in grief. These two are now married.

One case which pissed off my wife was of a guy who said his wife was taking all of his money and hinted she was cheating on him. He was so sad recounting all of his troubles with his wife that my wife and others just had to console him when he started to cry. Six months later my wife hears from a mutual friend that this guy was actually already divorced at the time of his telling his stories and was actually the one doing the cheating.

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When people in Taiwan are loyal, they seem more likely to stick together than most Western relationships, and value old-fashioned relationship dynamics; I’ve dated Asian women who *would* say stuff *unprompted* like “I’m the woman here, let me do the dishes”, when she’ll probably be roasted and considered a Stepford Wife or whatever label people toss around in Western culture.

However, even with my limited circle in Taiwan, there’s my scumbag uncle that was a bit of a womanizer and I’m surprised that he hasn’t succumbed to AIDS or some other STD, and also I had a friend of a friend who got absolutely REKT because his girlfriend cheated on her, and he’d say all this misogynistic, almost incel-y stuff for, based on what I heard, about 2 years (I blocked him after about a month).

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